Lacking personal life

[ArmVera]

Does anyone else have trouble finding a life outside of work? I guess I'm lucky in that I work a typical 9-5 situation, but I come home and have little in mind to do with myself. I can kill the time with an hour at the gym.. cooking dinner.. and watching tv.. After moving to a new area for job, don't really have people to go out with and not exactly feeling all that social after a day at work. Family suggests I find a "hobby" whatever that means. I don't see myself building model cars anytime soon. Just wish I had something I looked forward do doing rather than just killing my free time.

[beeblebrox]

I've been taking knitting classes to deal with what you're experiencing. That's my hobby.

[winneythepooh7]

I usually get home around 7PM on average so I am not really looking to hang out with anyone LOL. I find myself being bored a lot on the weekends though. I've joined some women's social groups, and once in awhile stuff will go on with that. This weekend I am participating in something called "the accomplice" with a women's group, which is basically described as "part-walking tour/part outside theatre/part scavenger hunt" that comes with cocktails. I haven't done it before but heard it's lotsa fun. The downside is it cost $55.00 but I saved up for it. A lot of my "friends" have started having kids, or live all over the place, so it's hard to plan stuff to get together.

[GoogleGirl]

oh believe me, I am definitely dealing with that. I work 7 days a week; I have to force myself to get the hell away from work. It is constantly on my mind. I really would like to find a 9-5 job rather than this crazy shit I find myself in.

[CTGirl]

When I finished grad school and all but one of my friends had left the state, I found myself in a similar situation. So, I threw myself into creating a new social life for myself - tried some online dating, met a friend through craigslist, joined a local professional organization that holds happy hours every month.

I did some good introspection at that time to figure out what it was that I really wanted to do with myself since I finally had free time for the first time in years, and it's worked out quite well.

Good luck!

[ebruening]

oh believe me, I am definitely dealing with that. I work 7 days a week; I have to force myself to get the hell away from work. It is constantly on my mind. I really would like to find a 9-5 job rather than this crazy shit I find myself in.

From one teacher to another, I know exactly what you mean. I work Monday through Friday from 7:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. during musical season. I also do about 8 hours of work over the weekend. I have no TIME for a social life :eek:

[mishl982]

I usually get home around 7PM on average so I am not really looking to hang out with anyone LOL. I find myself being bored a lot on the weekends though.
Same here. Some nights I'll be social with my roommates but other nights I just want to hide out in my room and unwind before bed. On the weekends I'll get together with friends or family and just enjoy any alone time I get. The only regular activity I get outside of work is going to the gym.

[wordsmith]

Does anyone else have trouble finding a life outside of work? I guess I'm lucky in that I work a typical 9-5 situation, but I come home and have little in mind to do with myself. I can kill the time with an hour at the gym.. cooking dinner.. and watching tv.. After moving to a new area for job, don't really have people to go out with and not exactly feeling all that social after a day at work. Family suggests I find a "hobby" whatever that means. I don't see myself building model cars anytime soon. Just wish I had something I looked forward do doing rather than just killing my free time.

I have very little time outside of work, so what little time I do have I tend to spend on relaxing activities. I have a personal life, but it's more solitary, less social. It is social from time to time, but usually, it's what you say...cooking dinner, watching movies, reading, etc. I have some hobbies as well. But I don't really have a typical 9-5 job, either, so I don't really have a ton of dead time to fill. I'm usually glad for whatever downtime I do have. I'm never bored.

[meatwad]

Let's put it this way. I was invited to a pampered chef party last night. I hate cooking and I hate infomercials.

I went and ended up buying something. :redface:

I didn't even enjoy it, but I got to interact with humans outside of work for a change.

[wordsmith]

I've dodged THREE pampered chef parties of late.

And countless candle parties, and cosmetic parties, and jewelry parties and buy-this-dip-mix-and-cheesecake-layered-in-a-jar "home products" parties as well. I've had to tell my acquaintances not to take it personally, I just don't do home party circuits. I don't like the pressure to buy, the pressure to host, the pressure to get in on the franchise. Ick. Ick. Ick.

[WorkInProgress]

Let's put it this way. I was invited to a pampered chef party last night. I hate cooking and I hate infomercials.

I went and ended up buying something. :redface:

I didn't even enjoy it, but I got to interact with humans outside of work for a change.

Awww.

So, what did you get? Their baking stones are expensive, but fabulous for everything I've tried except for cookies.

Heh. Two weekends ago, I went to a stamping party. But I like stamping parties, so it was no big deal.

[meatwad]

I always wanted a pizza stone because my oven cooks pizza for shit, so I just got that.

I can't wait for Saturday. I've been in a real funk for a couple of weeks.

[WorkInProgress]

I can't wait for Saturday. I've been in a real funk for a couple of weeks.

What's Saturday? You got big plans?

[meatwad]

What's Saturday? You got big plans?

That's the seminar I signed up for. I'm not looking forward to driving into Boston, but hopefully I'll get what I'm looking for out of it. I wish there was a card room closer than Foxwoods.

[wordsmith]

Yay, the acting!!!

[WorkInProgress]

Oh, right! I didn't realize it was so soon. You'll have to tell us how it goes.

[meatwad]

I will. I hope it goes well. I need to get the hell out of this job. I literally wake up 20 minutes before I have to leave the house and I'm always 5 minutes late for work. I hit my snooze button so many times it cracked in half. I feel like Peter from Office Space. There is nothing rewarding about being here. Then I go home and I have no motivation to go out and do anything by myself, so I stay home. But instead of being productive and cleaning, I just veg in front of my computer or the TV. I need a change.

[mishl982]

Good luck with the acting thing!

As far as product parties, I like going to them. I like being social, seeing new products, and my favorite - eating snacks! LOL. Sometimes I'll see nice ideas at a party and then find cheaper options elsewhere. So far none of the parties I've gone to have had hostesses who pressure you into buying stuff, which is fabulous. I've been to candles, scrapbooking, sex toys, and beauty/skin parties. Speaking of pampered chef, I'll be going to one in a few weeks!

[meatwad]

Ugh. The chef lady just seemed so fake. I just wanted to slap her to see if I'd get a genuine reaction.

[Chameleon]

Does anyone else have trouble finding a life outside of work? I guess I'm lucky in that I work a typical 9-5 situation, but I come home and have little in mind to do with myself. I can kill the time with an hour at the gym.. cooking dinner.. and watching tv.. After moving to a new area for job, don't really have people to go out with and not exactly feeling all that social after a day at work. Family suggests I find a "hobby" whatever that means. I don't see myself building model cars anytime soon. Just wish I had something I looked forward do doing rather than just killing my free time.
I was lucky enough to have people close to my age at work that were interested in socializing when I started at my job, unfortunately (or fortunately?) things got ugly and I decided to start over. Being by myself for a while helped me figure out what actually interested me instead of just going along with the activities of a group I was incompatible with. Is there anything that interests you? Dance? Music? Jewelry making? Volunteering? Movies? Macrame?

How big is the city you live in? You should try and check out the free magazines/newspapers for your city. They are usually full of listing of interesting things going on in your city, and if you feel bold, you can check some of the activities out and meet people that way. You could also check out meetup.com and meetin.org in your city, it's an easy way to already be part of a group before you go somewhere.

[beeblebrox]

Speaking of pampered chef, I'll be going to one in a few weeks!

I love the Pampered Chef. My mom got myself and my sister in law the best microwave steamers ever there. My mom has two and I have one. I use that steamer for everything.

[Ciderhillnh]

Have fun with the acting class.....if it were another weekend Id tell you to come out at some point with my friends, but seeing as how Im stuck at home recouping all weekend, I cant extend the offer.

However I can extend that if you wanted to drop by my place for a pot luck, BYOB movie night at my house, you're more than welcome. Should be close to 30 people.

[meatwad]

I love the Pampered Chef. My mom got myself and my sister in law the best microwave steamers ever there. My mom has two and I have one. I use that steamer for everything.

It's like an infomercial, but you get to eat the food after.

[beeblebrox]

It's like an infomercial, but you get to eat the food after.

that's how a cooking class that my bf and I took on our anniversary. You could easily tell that they were trying to sell you the knives from the knife skills class. Sometimes knitting class feels that way, but then again I don't care and keep buying yarn and making stuff.

[meatwad]

Let's hope the class consists of 20 attractive single females and me. :D

[WorkInProgress]

Let's hope the class consists of 20 attractive single females and me. :D

How would you possibly have enough time for all of them?

[meatwad]

How would you possibly have enough time for all of them?

Didn't I just explain that I have no life?

Besides, I'm trying to work with the odds here. Just because there's 20 I'm attracted to doesn't mean they'll all be attracted back. Meat needs him some female attention. I'm starving over here.

[wordsmith]

As a onetime theatre major, I offer this up: acting classes are the way to go for female attention, if you're a straight guy (precious in their rarity).

[WorkInProgress]

As a onetime theatre major, I offer this up: acting classes are the way to go for female attention, if you're a straight guy (precious in their rarity).

Yep. Theater and other "girly" activities. (Speaking of, were there no women at that pampered chef party? I've never, ever seen a man at one.)

[meatwad]

Yep. Theater and other "girly" activities. (Speaking of, were there no women at that pampered chef party? I've never, ever seen a man at one.)

I was tricked into that one. She just said, 'Hey, come over! This lady's gonna cook for us!' I should have known better. And all the girls were old or taken.

[meatwad]

Girly? WTF? I'm not doing broadway musicals, I want to be a VO actor. lol

[wordsmith]

Not the point. The point is that theatre arts and performance arts of all types tend to attract a higher, on average, percentage of gay guys than straight guys, and so there are fewer guys to go around for the women who pursue these things and are looking for a similar counterpart.

[WorkInProgress]

Not the point. The point is that theatre arts and performance arts of all types tend to attract a higher, on average, percentage of gay guys than straight guys, and so there are fewer guys to go around for the women who pursue these things and are looking for a similar counterpart.

Exactly. It'd be like the odds of trying to find a nice, straight guy at an artsy-craftsy place. (On the other hand, his odds would be fantastic.)

[beeblebrox]

Exactly. It'd be like the odds of trying to find a nice, straight guy at an artsy-craftsy place. (On the other hand, his odds would be fantastic.)

There's guys who knit and who are straight called Stitch and Britch. even though this doesn't apply, my knitting teacher's husband is all crafty and stuff and straight but taken.

[yankeeyosh]

I look forward to Wednesdays, since I play trivia and sometimes do karaoke following it. Sometimes I play Scrabble on Monday evenings...and I often go out once during the week to a restaurant.

[wordsmith]

I would LOVE weekly trivia.

Right now I have weekly yoga, and then go watch Grey's Anatomy with my sister after.

[meatwad]

I would LOVE weekly trivia.

Right now I have weekly yoga, and then go watch Grey's Anatomy with my sister after.

I noticed the Applebees near work started doing Wednesday Trivia. I wonder if the one near my house does.

[allneonlike]

I live in the suburbs where most of my friends live in the city, so half the time, they don't call me for events or whatever because they (wrongly) assume I don't want to make the drive (which I really don't mind!!!). So I pass my "free time" at the gym, or working, or playing Playstation. Not totally productive, but I'd rather do that than buy-buy-buy parties or the often lame bar scene here.

[beeblebrox]

Heh. My grandmother belongs to a quilting club and she calls it Stitch and Bitch.

that's what knitting groups have been called since the author "Stitch and Bitch" organized in NYC and then it spread all over the country. I go to one at the Museum of Contemporary Art.

[sasha83]

I wake up at noon or 1 p.m., shower, get dressed, get a little sustenance in my stomach, take the bus to work, work for 8 to 8 1/2 hours, then come home at midnight or 1 a.m., eat dinner or some other food and go to bed. I'm up about 13 hours a day and sleep for the rest.

[Legal(b)eagle]

I'm in the same place, completely. Don't have the emotional wherewithal to go out and be social with strangers after work, yet vaguely bored with gym/dinner/tv and assorted STUFF to kill my free time.
If your gym has any classes (yoga/pilates/kickboxing/hip-hop), I find that is helpful in feeling a little more connected to other people. Also, becoming very very well read makes the free time feel more productive. There's MySpace. And sometimes I drink.

[SunnyCee]

I've joined some women's social groups, and once in awhile stuff will go on with that. This weekend I am participating in something called "the accomplice" with a women's group, which is basically described as "part-walking tour/part outside theatre/part scavenger hunt" that comes with cocktails. I haven't done it before but heard it's lotsa fun. The downside is it cost $55.00 but I saved up for it. A lot of my "friends" have started having kids, or live all over the place, so it's hard to plan stuff to get together.


Can you give me more info on those social groups and that scavenger hunt thing? That sounds so cool!

I'm in the same boat...right now I try and make a point to do a few social things a week, whether it's from meetup.com or something I see advertised.

[steve sperd]

Hmm I do a thing called stitch and bitch but it's writing poetry not knitting, I'm not sure why it's called that now that I think of it.

[RustyGator]

ArmVera,

I am in the same situation as you right now. I struggle to find something to do with myself. You can only go to the bookstore so many times. I do have hobbies, but sometimes you want to do something that, oh, I dont know, involves other people? I have a few suggestions, not that I have any particular expertise in helping your situation. Since you do exercise, maybe find a gym buddy. That can evolve into an out-of-gym friendship that may equal more fun. If you have some spare money, go buy something! Buy some movies or some books or a videogame system. People always tell me to volunteer. I never do, but its a thought. Also, see if a university or organization in your area has community education courses of some sort. Sounds dorky but I have taken wine tasting classes and enjoyed it.

Ok, I'm a dork.

Good luck.

[Vikarious]

Try looking up a local meetin.org group.


I've been, dare I say, friendless for about 2 years now. I don't expect to make any good friends out of it, but just having someone to go have dinner with a couple times a month takes the sting out of it.


Good luck. I think a lot of us are in the same boat - more than we think.