How many 'close' friends?

[AshleyJordan]

So, even though there are sometimes tense moments and disagreements, I'm pretty sure that at any given time I have about 4 or 5 close friends who I can talk about pretty much anything with, which I think is pretty good. This is outside of acquaintances/colleagues who I socialize with.

I'm just curious what other poster's experience has been, since I know there have been a few posts (including by me,) about feelings of isolation. I think part of it is that, unlike before where you'd see the same people everyday at school (or even at work, because my last org had over 100 employees,) now it's harder to schedule time to actually see everyone.

[Krishna]

I have about 3 friends I talk to regularly. Sometimes I feel lonely, but honestly, I just don't have a lot in common with most of the other people I know right now.

[nikorock28]

Two close friends, both back in CA (I've been in AZ for 1.5 yrs, haven't been back to CA yet). One was my roomie in college, the other I have known since I was like 5. The roomie I met up in Vegas a couple times last year... haven't seen my childhood friend since I left CA, but I still consider him a close friend.

[asm198]

I have two close friends that live in the same city that I do. My fiance and my best friend, who is male. I know I can count on them both to be there for me, no matter what.

And I have about 30 close friends who I've met on the internet, initially, who I can count on to be there for me if I need a shoulder. One of those internet friends has been my friend online for about 5 years, but we met for the first time last year. She's going to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. It probably sounds stupid that we became friends because of the internet, but we think so much the same that I know we would have been friends in we lived closer to each other. We don't even live in the same country, let alone the same state, so without the internet, we would have never met.

This is the case for every one of my online friendships. I would have never met any one of them without it, but I'm glad for them and their friendships.

[GoogleGirl]

I have one really close friend whom I am very, very close with (we work together). My other close friend is slowly drifting away b/c of some internet romance going on with her. blah. And then there is my bf far, far away. But we manage to talk once ot twice a day. Other than that, this is my life story. Not many close friends to speak of, but I've come to accept that.

[allie1105]

I have about 5 close friends. Most of them are from college, as I do not stay in contact much with friends from high school, though many live near me. When I was in high school, I thought it was more important to be "cool", which unfortunately came along with some really bad friends...Luckily, I smartened up and met some great people during my college years. I wish a lot of them lived closer, though...

[Krishna]

I wish a lot of them lived closer, though...

That's exactly my problem. My college friends have scattered around the country (literally from Maine to Colorado) and even outside the country too (Mexico). I talk to some of them online, but I haven't seen most of them since I graduated.

[wordsmith]

I have two childhood friends where the bond has remained close and tight enough that I can bare my soul to them, and probably three or four college friends. I have a couple of friends that I met initially on messageboards that became real-life friends, and since I talk to at least one of them daily, I have a hard time considering that not to be "real" friendship. So probably half a dozen close friends, outside of family, who I can talk to about anything.

[WorkInProgress]

Maybe a handful of close friends. I think this is common situation.

[wordsmith]

I think each fo my parents has three or four lifelong friends, outside of siblings, who they are especially close to. I think it's pretty standard.

[WorkInProgress]

I think each fo my parents has three or four lifelong friends, outside of siblings, who they are especially close to. I think it's pretty standard.

As far as I can tell, my dad's only got one lifelong friend, but several that he's known for a lot/most of his adult life. Mom's the same. Other than that, it's family.

[fuzmiq]

I have about 5 or 6 close friends that i can call and talk deep or about nothing at all. I need this circle of folk. they are so important.

[SpaceMonkey]

I have one very, very close friend who is, unfortunately, in Boston. This is the person who I could talk about "anything" with. I would say that I have 3-4 other close friends.

[tina1979]

3 in real life. I have several people that I talk to that I met online about issues that I may not even go to my real life friends about.

[SmilesSoSweet]

I have several people that I talk to that I met online about issues that I may not even go to my real life friends about.

This is the same for me. I think I also have about 2-3 close friends that I can talk to. And two more if you count my sister and one of my cousins who is like my other sister.

[Kitty]

Two high school friends and two college friends and one friend I met through friends after college. Total of 5. Unfortunately, none of them live close to me :(

[Winter Storm]

I have maybe 3 friends I'd consider close. I don't get to talk to them often but when we do, we talk about everything.

[mishl982]

I have about a handful of very close friends.

[cache]

I have 4 close friends that live near me...., plus a few roommates who are up there.

[hoodie]

I have three. One is my sister, one is my boyfriend, and one is a high-school friend. There are two others who are kind of "fringe", who I trust with most things but just don't get to talk to as often.

[Deni81]

I have about 3 close friends who I really feel I can trust. % if I add my sister and her husband who I tend to hang out with a lot as well.

[capella]

I have 2 close friends (one from HS and one from college). I have a handful of acquaintances from work (the ones that you can talk to a little, hang out with, but you haven't known for long enough to call a close friend). I don't get to see anyone beyond acquaintances very often. Mostly we keep in touch through email and the occasional phone call. One has visited me in Florida. But not too many. My husband is really my best friend. My parents both have only a handful of lifelong friends. And the same goes for my husband's parents.

I don't think it's that uncommon. I used to think there was something totally wrong with me because everyone I really got close to moved on or I moved on at some point and the friendship died out. I don't think it's weird at all anymore, but it's really just a part of life. I think when you're in school and you have that nice social situation set up and not a lot of responsibilities it's easier to maintain friendships. Things get complicated when you get older and things just fizzle out. I don't have TONS of time and I spend what time I do have very judiciously.

[pisces2473]

My fiance is my best friend. I am friends with 3 people from the K-12 years (2 of which live in the same town as me). I am super close with one college friend, and keep in touch with 4 others. I did make one "adult" friend--I met her on QLC!

BUT, most of these people live out of state. Obviously, my FI and the two in-town friends live close to me. One college friend and my adult friend live less than an hour away. The other friends live super far away and we don't talk much. We do get together at least once a year though.

The people I am closest to are the super good college friend, one of the K-12 people (sadly the one who doesn't live locally) and my QLC friend :)

[wordsmith]

I think every friend I have as an adult who isn't somebody I went to school with or did my volunteer year with is somebody I met through work. Every friend I've made as an adult, either is a coworker or somebody I interviewed or did a story on or otherwise was a work contact.

Except for the handful that originated on QLC or another forum.

[SmilesSoSweet]

I think every friend I have as an adult who isn't somebody I went to school with or did my volunteer year with is somebody I met through work.

With the exception of one friend I met about three or four years ago online, all my adult friends I met have been through work and some from roommate's friends, etc. But I really don't keep in touch with them as much anymore now that I live in a different state. We still do email and call each other once in awhile and remember birthdays and stuff like that.

I don't mind not having too many friends. I'd rather have small number of really close friends than to have a huge group of friends.

[lostnotyetfound]

I have no friends but I am coming around to accept the fact that people just suck.

[Ciderhillnh]

EDIT: Apparently my posting about how many friends I have and how often I talk to them/see them and listing them is offensive so it has been asked that I remove it.........<sigh>



Lost...Im sorry you feel this way. all I can tell you is keep trying, you'll find people. I never had them either and never thought I would and every day I appreciate what Ive found and cherish it!

[pisces2473]

I have no friends but I am coming around to accept the fact that people just suck.
I hear you. One of my longest known friends lives 2/10 of a mile from me. I've seen her twice since she moved into the neighborhood in November. She called me last week, I was out, but I called her back when I got home and haven't heard from her. I also emailed her to say, I saw you called, what's new? And she was like, oh I just wanted to chat the old fashioned way. So I wrote back a little update and haven't heard from her again.

I also don't think I have much in common with many people.

[arrow]

I hear you. One of my longest known friends lives 2/10 of a mile from me. I've seen her twice since she moved into the neighborhood in November. She called me last week, I was out, but I called her back when I got home and haven't heard from her. I also emailed her to say, I saw you called, what's new? And she was like, oh I just wanted to chat the old fashioned way. So I wrote back a little update and haven't heard from her again.

I also don't think I have much in common with many people.

I have this problem with my friend who lives in my buidling. We get along great and I always thought we could be closer, but I suppose not. And she lives in my building, so I really should see her more than once a month, right? Not so. She's still my friend, but I wouldn't consider her "close" by any means.

I find my closest friends are often some pretty unique people. They may not always be the most popular or coolest people in the world, but their oddity is part of what I love about them. (Speaking of, one of them is supposed to call and tell me the sex of her baby today. Yay!)

[cheshrcarol]

I have about 5 or so close friends, with varying degrees of closeness. But only one lives in close proximity, which kind of sucks. The rest are college friends that are spread throughout the state. I'd like to have some more friends around here, but I've grown apart from people I used to work with and haven't really made close friends through school. But I'm ok with that, I don't really mind having alone time. The only time it really bothers me is in situations like my birthday next week, I don't really have a bunch of friends around here to celebrate with.

[pisces2473]

The only time it really bothers me is in situations like my birthday next week, I don't really have a bunch of friends around here to celebrate with.
I wish we lived closer, we could have done something for our birthdays!

[wordsmith]

My evaluation of closeness is somebody who I can talk to about serious, intense things if need be...not that that's what our friendship is based on, but where I wouldn't shy away from opening up to them about really anything. I wouldn't consider somebody I see once a month or once every few months a close friend if I didn't have that dynamic with them. On the other hand, if I have a friend who lives a thousand miles away, and I see once every few years, but we stay in contact and still have that "I can tell you anything" dynamic, I def. consider that person to be a close friend.

[cheshrcarol]

I wish we lived closer, we could have done something for our birthdays!
Hey, I tried! :p

[pisces2473]

Hey, I tried! :p
Yeah, we can't help that where we wanted to go is super popular!

[and1grad]

EDIT: Apparently my posting about how many friends I have and how often I talk to them/see them and listing them is offensive so it has been asked that I remove it.........<sigh>



Lost...Im sorry you feel this way. all I can tell you is keep trying, you'll find people. I never had them either and never thought I would and every day I appreciate what Ive found and cherish it!
Since you want to bring it here, I'm fine with that. The next time I make a request for you to edit a post and you decide to put some smartassed response like this, I will ban you and make sure that you stay banned, under any name, for as long as I moderate this site. Consider that your unequivocal warning.

[MetFanL]

I have 3 or 4 people that I talk to almost everyday (I'm not including family). Then, I have another 5 or 6 that I don't get to talk to as much as I'd like b/c of schedules, husbands and babies, but I still consider them close b/c, when we do get together, it's like we see each other all the time, if that makes sense. Anyone beyond that I consider an acquaintance.

I'm really lucky, actually, but there was a time when I had like zero close friends. It wasn't easy building this up and I really value the ones I've kept.

[Fleagle]

I have two people I'd say are close friends; they are my best friend and his girlfriend. He's been across the street for years but I never saw him when he tried his hand at college. I was going to move with them somewhere but my plans are different than theirs right now.

[JamieMarie]

I have three close friends now! I consider them lifelong friends even though there were times when we didn't hang out together. I've know one since Kindergarten and the other two since high school. So I've known one for like 25 years and the others for about 15.

I will say even though I have three good friends and I probably hang out with either of them each weekend I still feel lonely! I feel lonely because they are not always available...or there are things that I want to do and they don't. That's why I'm trying to meet new people. I still believe the corny saying "You can never have enough frieinds" or the girl scout song "make new freinds, but keep the old".

[phaedra]

I really only have one close friend if you count my boyfriend (2 if you count my dog :p ). There were a couple of people I thought I would be really close with after college, but apparrently they didn't think the same thing. One got married and the only way we talk is if I call her. If I don't, she doesn't call me at all. The other won't even respond to me if I email/AIM/call, yet when I see her at homecoming she's all "Hey how are you, how have you been?" I'm not bitter at all. :mad:

But on a positive note, I'm very friendly with the people I work with and the newer girl seems to be someone I could get along with outside of work.

[beeblebrox]

I've got two very close friends who I met in the same french class my freshman year of college. I've remained close with them since. One of them is getting married in a couple of months and I'm afraid that I won't be in the wedding party which sucks. She's already gone super AWOL with the wedding stuff-I left her a voicemail and an email and she hasn't gotten back to me yet, so I don't think that I'm in the wedding at all.

[swanksquirrel]

I really only have one close friend if you count my boyfriend (2 if you count my dog :p ). There were a couple of people I thought I would be really close with after college, but apparrently they didn't think the same thing. One got married and the only way we talk is if I call her. If I don't, she doesn't call me at all. The other won't even respond to me if I email/AIM/call, yet when I see her at homecoming she's all "Hey how are you, how have you been?" I'm not bitter at all. :mad:

But on a positive note, I'm very friendly with the people I work with and the newer girl seems to be someone I could get along with outside of work.


whoa, replace "dog" with "cat" and that's my life. kinda considering filing for friendship bankruptcy. or maybe I'll buy a dog (who says money can't buy friends?).

has anyone else had to deal with this "best friend gets married and then totally blows you off to the point you think she thinks you have the plague or her husband must really hate you and has forbidden any kind of contact?" she was my friend since we were like, 14, we were roommates in college for about 3 years. it feels like i got dumped, sorta. :cry:

[WorkInProgress]

has anyone else had to deal with this "best friend gets married and then totally blows you off to the point you think she thinks you have the plague or her husband must really hate you and has forbidden any kind of contact?" she was my friend since we were like, 14, we were roommates in college for about 3 years. it feels like i got dumped, sorta. :cry:

That's because you did. I felt exactly the same way after one of my close friends from college cooled significantly towards me after she graduated (but no boy involved in that). And I felt exactly the same way when one of my close friends for most of college started dating a mutual friend--then both of them were suddenly too busy all the time.

Fortunately my recently married close friend is making as much time for me as she did before she got married (we're both busy, so we have to schedule visits). It's refreshing.

[beeblebrox]

That's because you did. I felt exactly the same way after one of my close friends from college cooled significantly towards me after she graduated (but no boy involved in that). And I felt exactly the same way when one of my close friends for most of college started dating a mutual friend--then both of them were suddenly too busy all the time.

Fortunately my recently married close friend is making as much time for me as she did before she got married (we're both busy, so we have to schedule visits). It's refreshing.

I'm dealing with that right now. I always made time and visited this friend/former roommate. I wasn't able to get up to visit her recently because I started a new job, was looking for a job, and my grandma died. She visited Chicago once and I wasn't the sole reason. It was some guy that hurt her emotionally. I was her relationship cheerleader. I called her when I could, sent packages, called on birthday, made gifts. This year, I made her a Christmas gift and didn't so much as hear a thank you. I don't think that she even called on my birthday when I remember hers always.

I just heard about her engagement long after she selected bridesmaid, etc. I cried for about 4 days this week. I'm not going to the wedding if I'm even invited. I called her to wish her happiness and she had some bad attitude going on. Also, I think she judged me heavily because of my premarital sex, being a little promiscous, and moving in with my boyfriend before marrying. I have no desire to talk to her ever again.

[ebruening]

I just heard about her engagement long after she selected bridesmaid, etc. I cried for about 4 days this week. I'm not going to the wedding if I'm even invited. I called her to wish her happiness and she had some bad attitude going on...I have no desire to talk to her ever again.

I can sympathize, beeblebrox. (((Hugs))) It's a crappy, crappy feeling. I had a similar experience with someone I thought was one of my very best friends. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk, or otherwise vent.

Other than my sister and my roommates, I don't really have any other good, close friends. I'm uncomfortable socializing with people from work, but it's mostly due to my own insecurities.

I'm going to try going to meetup events, because I seriously need some close friends. I don't need a lot of friends, just one or two really close ones with similar interests. I feel like I "lost" all of my close friends after college.

I spend a lot of time feeling like I'm far more serious than other people around me. I get along with people well enough, but when it comes time to make a connection with someone, I'm left feeling a bit uninspired. I feel a bit like Amelie these days - all too willing to daydream about possibilities, but pretty scared when I think about making those daydreams into realities.

[swanksquirrel]

I'm dealing with that right now. I always made time and visited this friend/former roommate. I wasn't able to get up to visit her recently because I started a new job, was looking for a job, and my grandma died. She visited Chicago once and I wasn't the sole reason. It was some guy that hurt her emotionally. I was her relationship cheerleader. I called her when I could, sent packages, called on birthday, made gifts. This year, I made her a Christmas gift and didn't so much as hear a thank you. I don't think that she even called on my birthday when I remember hers always.

I just heard about her engagement long after she selected bridesmaid, etc. I cried for about 4 days this week. I'm not going to the wedding if I'm even invited. I called her to wish her happiness and she had some bad attitude going on. Also, I think she judged me heavily because of my premarital sex, being a little promiscous, and moving in with my boyfriend before marrying. I have no desire to talk to her ever again.


Me ToO!!!! Were we friends with the same person? We should all go for coffee sometime, I'm in Chicago too. It could be the "we won't turn into cold brats if we ever choose to get married" club. I totally got my friend the most thoughtful birthday gift ever, and she got me diddly squat (and our birthdays are only 2 days apart...we always did something fun...in the past). And her husband is born-again christain (which is ok, I'm an open-minded person), except they tried to convert me, and when I was said I wasn't so interested in selecting a religion at the moment, they acted like I was this bag of hiddeous sin.

Here's a {{BIG HUG}} to everyone that's had to deal with getting dumped by a bride-to-be.

[ala901]

i had a similar situation but with my cousin i grew up with , she was like a sister to me. she moved down south and started going to church and meeting a lot of christian friends. she changed completely, the next thing our family new was her cards and phone calls trying to convert and preach to us. it was very disconcerting. i have nothing against the christian religion i was raised that way, but i felt she was shoving it down our throats.
and she was no longer the same person. it is now many yrs later and we have grown apart, but she seems happy in her new life.
it just goes to show how people change over time and grow apart or sometimes grow closer. in this case, unfortunately we grew apart. i miss having her in my life, we only talk on the phone rarely now.

[Krissy2006]

I just wanted to say first that having 4-5 close friends you can turn to for anything is a very abundant life. IF you stop and think about how many true friends ppl really have... I probably have about 4 that I can truly count on, which I feel blessed to have. I often feel lonely as well, but that is b/c of my own issues. I guess I also would like to reach out to oppl more. HOw do you all do it if you haven't spoken to someone in a while?...

Also I wanted to say how cool I think it is that you've all seem to have met ppl from the net who you actually became friends with I think thats awesome! What do you all think about Internet dating?... I met a guy from the internet, and I have never done that before, we get along really great talk everyday, feel like we have a ton in common, but I Feel weird b/c its the internet.... any feedback?

[blue27]

I think like most people i have 3-4 close friends.. but I would like to have more...you can never have enough.. and some of then have moved away so we don't talk as much but I still think of them as close friends.

[fuzmiq]

You know, at this point, I don't need any more close friends. I have about 4-5. One close friend is harder to maintain that 20 regular friends. It is work...joyful and pleasurable work, but time consuming all the same. I just need more hang out buddies at this point.

[paralelle9229]

I have four close friends, but with adjusting to my new job, I probably have contact with each friend (phone calls and meeting included) about twice a month. I think that 2-4 close friends is enough for me, b/c I know that I can count on them if I really needed them.
In regards to feeling isolated, I don't feel isolated now that I live in a city...when I lived in a suburb I used to feel this way all of the time. I think having the acquaintances and social events really helps, even if it is just superficial. Though my close friends are priceless and I highly value time spent with them.

[civicmon]

I have a handful of close friends scattered around the country.

In the last 15 years I've lived in or near: New York, San Francisco, New Orleans, San Diego, Los Angeles, Philadelphia and Phoenix. I have friends from there who have moved and stuff.

It's confusing... but a class reunion can be anywhere between California and New Orleans for me.