What happened to my friend?

[Jman06]

About a year ago me and this girl dated for a bit. She was a jr in college and when we met she seemed down to earth and was still a virgin and seemed like it meant something to her.
Now a year later last night we hung out again. SHe informed me that she had been sleeping around quite often with random guys she meets at bars and even friends of friends that she just met and hadnt even been drinking. She even jokingly called herself a hore. I was shocked and saddend by this. What happened to this sweet innocent girl that I knew only a year ago? What caused her to turn like this? She just doenst seem the same.
I think part of it is she has just gone through some rough times recently. She just got kicked out of her program as a senior and it hit her hard. I think she has had trouble finding a serious bf to. I think the last guy kind of hurt her. I think she is/was also depressed even before this worse stuff happened. Maybe shes not as close to some of her friends. BUt would turmoil like this cause this? I feel like I lost a friend and feel bad for her. It hurts me to see her like this letting guys use her when she would never to that before.

[Syracuse]

A lot of girls do this, going through a wild phase. Not always the end of the world, maybe your mom did who knows.

[Winter Storm]

A lot of girls do this, going through a wild phase. Not always the end of the world, maybe your mom did who knows.

What the hell???

I think part of it is she has just gone through some rough times recently. She just got kicked out of her program as a senior and it hit her hard. I think she has had trouble finding a serious bf to. I think the last guy kind of hurt her. I think she is/was also depressed even before this worse stuff happened. Maybe shes not as close to some of her friends. BUt would turmoil like this cause this?

In a word, yes.

I know after my horrible breakup, I became really depressed and to sort of escape those feelings, I began drinking heavily, partying hard and trying to meet as many men as I could, I didn't sleep around but I definitely did things I'd never done beforem such as meet guys online the same day, go anywhere really, drink anything and really try anything. It was all about masking and running away from the pain.

Perhaps, she needs a good friend right now to talk to her and find out what's going on. Maybe then she'll see that if someone really cares, she doesn't need to do this dumb shit.

[WorkInProgress]

A lot of girls do this, going through a wild phase. Not always the end of the world, maybe your mom did who knows.

This isn't helpful. And no, a lot of girls don't go throuh a complete turnaround of actions and personality.

Jman, if you're interested in pursuing a real friendship with her, maybe talk to her about this, and show sincere concern over the change in her (without judging her).

[wordsmith]

First, a person is more than a sum of their sexual experience. It's rubbing me the wrong way that you seem to be making who she is all about her sexual history..."What happened to her, she was oh so pure and virginal, and now she's a whore." Ick. And you're not gonna help your friend any if this kind of judgmental attitude is apparent.

That said, when somebody has a drastic and sudden turnabout in behavior, it usually IS a sign that something's going on in their world that they're using that to deal with. People act out in all kinds of unhealthy ways.

[winneythepooh7]

First, a person is more than a sum of their sexual experience. It's rubbing me the wrong way that you seem to be making who she is all about her sexual history..."What happened to her, she was oh so pure and virginal, and now she's a whore." Ick. And you're not gonna help your friend any if this kind of judgmental attitude is apparent.

That said, when somebody has a drastic and sudden turnabout in behavior, it usually IS a sign that something's going on in their world that they're using that to deal with. People act out in all kinds of unhealthy ways.

Agreed. I think it's okay if you talk to her about your concern, however. Let her know that she can take it or leave it, but you are there for her regardless. Some people do go through wild phases, but I think more often than not, there's something else going on that would cause a drastic change in behavior. Let her know that you are concerned she could be putting herself in a dangerous situation, like Winter mentioned. Drunk or not, going alone with random men/strangers could lead to horrible things happening.

[Jman06]

That said, when somebody has a drastic and sudden turnabout in behavior, it usually IS a sign that something's going on in their world that they're using that to deal with. People act out in all kinds of unhealthy ways.

I thought this might be it. I am worried about her. I know she was dealing with depression even when I was seeing her and I think she just reached a breaking point and now is doing all this. I'm just sad and in shock now. You would understand if you new her like I did and saw the change. She used to respect herself.