Life/Dating Crisis

[Miss M]

To give you a bit of a background--I dated my frist serious boyfriend (first love) in college and for serveral years after college. I was so in love with him, however I lost sight of that during the end of our relatinoship (which was long distance) I ended the relationship--and I don't think I have ever fully gotten over it since which I attributed to the love you always feel for your frist love. However, now quite sometime later I still think of him --worried that I will never love anyone like that again. I am in a current relationship that is great and we have been dating for some time and live together-however, I just can't escape the feeling that I loved my ex-boyfriend more. I don't plan on pursuing my ex-boyfriend as he has moved on-but I don't know if I should stay with my current boyfriend because he is great--or if I broke it off would I feel the same regret of ending it with him. I am almost 26 and never thought I would say this because I am very independent but I am scared of not finding the perfect person for me again-what if my ex-boyfriend was the only chance for that-or what if emotions never run as high as that again as your first love--so all other relationships don't seem as exciting in comparison. I am sorry to ramble on-I am just really at a loss of what to do. I have never posted on here before-and feel I have exhausted my friends--I just need some advice.

[GoogleGirl]

I know what you are talking about. I dated my first love for 3.5 years (when i was 18-22) and he dumped me for reasons I still don't know. I truly loved him and after he dumped me, I was a recluse for many months. I ended up meeting someone else whom I am still dating, but for a long time I thought that I still wanted my ex back because I didn't think I loved my current bf the way I loved my ex. But here is the thing you really need to realize....you will never love different people in the same way. A first love is the most devastating one to get over. Then you learn. And I know you are questioning whether you love your ex more. You love him differently than your current bf. It takes a lot of adjustment after losing the first love to realize that you can love someone else. It won't ever be the same. Each person brings different qualities to the plate. You can't expect to love a new person the same way. Just try to give your current bf some time. It does take a lot to get over a first love. I think I've finally gotten over mine, but partly because I started dating someone else who really wanted something serious like I do. So...I think you are going to be fine. :)

[wordsmith]

I don't ever expect to feel about anybody else the way I felt about the first person I ever loved. How could I? I'm not the same person I was when I was 19 or 20...I'll never again feel the ways I felt when I was 19 or 20. That's not necessarily a bad thing, either. It's just life. Everyone I've ever loved, I've loved differently, anyway. It's apples and oranges. Bonds are not interchangeable.