cheguevara6
03-12-2007, 05:37 PM
Hi, I am a 22 year old college senior, I am hopefully my final term of college. Yet I am full steam in my quarter life crisis and or emotional crisis.
I felt my crisis start last year near summer, this idea that I will be graduating and have no idea what the hell I will do with my life. I am majoring in sociology, but frankly have no desire to be a teacher or social worker, which are typical of sociology grads.
I am or was very active in social issues and the antiwar cause, but it became too much, so I rarely read the newspaper or watch the news on tv.
Movies like Garden State, The Last Kiss, Easy Riders, The Graduate, Midnight Cowboys all seem to sum up my life right now.
I think my crisis may have an added thing to it, I am a radical, a counterculture kid, who studied and was radicalized in college. I even talked to fellow soc majors and they all suggested that taking these classes made it hard to rationalize getting a job, in that there is so much crazy stuff going on in the world that needs to be changed.
I have been in school since I was little, and feel like I really don’t want to waste the next 40 years post graduation, working and toiling for wages. Seems silly. To me there is such beauty in the world, but many of us, myself included are too into our own lives, school, work, taxes and etc… to pay attention to it. I want to live life, not to work in some office while the sun shines outside and I am inside.
I am planning on moving to a commune. It fits my radical and counterculture personality. The communes I have written to, are right up my alley, although they all require hard work and labor, they also seem like they are into social justice and trying to build communities and connections inside the communes, and a fostering of caring for both the environment and people in general. I plan on visiting maybe three over the summer, and deciding if I like them. At this moment of time, I have no desire to have a regular 9-5 job in mainstream society. Right at this moment I want to sort of drop out of mainstream society, and live on a commune.
I am really trying to find myself. I don’t even know who I am and what I am supposed to do in society. Its hard enough trying to do that. Add onto that my anger, and deep emotion felt towards the war and how it affects me greatly daily, and how the world situation, the terrorism, war, homophobia and racism all bring me down. Add onto that parents who think I should immediately graduate and support myself and start thinking about jobs and my future, and its really tough to deal with
Its getting real tough right now, I have two weeks until the term ends and am in the midst of major senioritis which is rare, since I have always been a big studier. I have a class that’s really tough for me Chinese Art History, and I am worried I wont pass this class. And I am worried about what I will do if I fail the class, because if I don’t pass the class I cant graduate, I wont have enough credits.
I think for me what makes the quarter life crisis so hard is the boomers or our parents neglect or ignorance of it. When I tell my parents about the crisis they seem to think “its normal” or a rite of passage, thus making it sound like everyone goes through it and that it should be accepted. I do know a lot of people are in the middle of a crisis, but in many ways my parents trying to normalize it, also minimizes my feelings and everyone else’s feelings. Because if its normal, it is acceptable, and okay.
How do I find myself in the midst of this world situation that seems to be taking thousands of members of my generation, and sending them to iraq and then they are being killed? How does one deal with that?
How am I supposed to think about getting a job and paying the taxes and becoming an adult, when in many ways, that means getting a job and ignoring the world? Why do the pleas and the ideas of quarter lifers seem to fall on deaf ears?
In the movie Garden State, Natalie Portman says to Zach Braff, that he is “in it”. I feel that I am “in it” right now. There is so much going on, and I feel so completely lost, disillusioned, angry, and sorrowfilled. I feel like I was lied to as a child that everything is perfect. I feel lost. I feel like my innocence is gone.
I am hoping this summer, I move to a commune, and work hard at the jobs there, but on my free time, I hope to be in a field full of flowers, playing guitar, the wind in my hair, sitting free, and being free.
I feel so crazy right now, I have two weeks left hopefully in my college career, and I seem to be at the apex of this crisis. I feel like there is beauty in flowers and the sun, and animals, and the trees, and I am stuck here studying for some stupid art history exam. Again this is rare for me, usually I am really into studying. Its frustrating. And it scares me what will happen if I fail in this class. I don’t have any communes lined up until the beginning of summer.
I felt my crisis start last year near summer, this idea that I will be graduating and have no idea what the hell I will do with my life. I am majoring in sociology, but frankly have no desire to be a teacher or social worker, which are typical of sociology grads.
I am or was very active in social issues and the antiwar cause, but it became too much, so I rarely read the newspaper or watch the news on tv.
Movies like Garden State, The Last Kiss, Easy Riders, The Graduate, Midnight Cowboys all seem to sum up my life right now.
I think my crisis may have an added thing to it, I am a radical, a counterculture kid, who studied and was radicalized in college. I even talked to fellow soc majors and they all suggested that taking these classes made it hard to rationalize getting a job, in that there is so much crazy stuff going on in the world that needs to be changed.
I have been in school since I was little, and feel like I really don’t want to waste the next 40 years post graduation, working and toiling for wages. Seems silly. To me there is such beauty in the world, but many of us, myself included are too into our own lives, school, work, taxes and etc… to pay attention to it. I want to live life, not to work in some office while the sun shines outside and I am inside.
I am planning on moving to a commune. It fits my radical and counterculture personality. The communes I have written to, are right up my alley, although they all require hard work and labor, they also seem like they are into social justice and trying to build communities and connections inside the communes, and a fostering of caring for both the environment and people in general. I plan on visiting maybe three over the summer, and deciding if I like them. At this moment of time, I have no desire to have a regular 9-5 job in mainstream society. Right at this moment I want to sort of drop out of mainstream society, and live on a commune.
I am really trying to find myself. I don’t even know who I am and what I am supposed to do in society. Its hard enough trying to do that. Add onto that my anger, and deep emotion felt towards the war and how it affects me greatly daily, and how the world situation, the terrorism, war, homophobia and racism all bring me down. Add onto that parents who think I should immediately graduate and support myself and start thinking about jobs and my future, and its really tough to deal with
Its getting real tough right now, I have two weeks until the term ends and am in the midst of major senioritis which is rare, since I have always been a big studier. I have a class that’s really tough for me Chinese Art History, and I am worried I wont pass this class. And I am worried about what I will do if I fail the class, because if I don’t pass the class I cant graduate, I wont have enough credits.
I think for me what makes the quarter life crisis so hard is the boomers or our parents neglect or ignorance of it. When I tell my parents about the crisis they seem to think “its normal” or a rite of passage, thus making it sound like everyone goes through it and that it should be accepted. I do know a lot of people are in the middle of a crisis, but in many ways my parents trying to normalize it, also minimizes my feelings and everyone else’s feelings. Because if its normal, it is acceptable, and okay.
How do I find myself in the midst of this world situation that seems to be taking thousands of members of my generation, and sending them to iraq and then they are being killed? How does one deal with that?
How am I supposed to think about getting a job and paying the taxes and becoming an adult, when in many ways, that means getting a job and ignoring the world? Why do the pleas and the ideas of quarter lifers seem to fall on deaf ears?
In the movie Garden State, Natalie Portman says to Zach Braff, that he is “in it”. I feel that I am “in it” right now. There is so much going on, and I feel so completely lost, disillusioned, angry, and sorrowfilled. I feel like I was lied to as a child that everything is perfect. I feel lost. I feel like my innocence is gone.
I am hoping this summer, I move to a commune, and work hard at the jobs there, but on my free time, I hope to be in a field full of flowers, playing guitar, the wind in my hair, sitting free, and being free.
I feel so crazy right now, I have two weeks left hopefully in my college career, and I seem to be at the apex of this crisis. I feel like there is beauty in flowers and the sun, and animals, and the trees, and I am stuck here studying for some stupid art history exam. Again this is rare for me, usually I am really into studying. Its frustrating. And it scares me what will happen if I fail in this class. I don’t have any communes lined up until the beginning of summer.