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View Full Version : I am in my crisis!!!


cheguevara6
03-12-2007, 05:37 PM
Hi, I am a 22 year old college senior, I am hopefully my final term of college. Yet I am full steam in my quarter life crisis and or emotional crisis.
I felt my crisis start last year near summer, this idea that I will be graduating and have no idea what the hell I will do with my life. I am majoring in sociology, but frankly have no desire to be a teacher or social worker, which are typical of sociology grads.
I am or was very active in social issues and the antiwar cause, but it became too much, so I rarely read the newspaper or watch the news on tv.
Movies like Garden State, The Last Kiss, Easy Riders, The Graduate, Midnight Cowboys all seem to sum up my life right now.
I think my crisis may have an added thing to it, I am a radical, a counterculture kid, who studied and was radicalized in college. I even talked to fellow soc majors and they all suggested that taking these classes made it hard to rationalize getting a job, in that there is so much crazy stuff going on in the world that needs to be changed.
I have been in school since I was little, and feel like I really don’t want to waste the next 40 years post graduation, working and toiling for wages. Seems silly. To me there is such beauty in the world, but many of us, myself included are too into our own lives, school, work, taxes and etc… to pay attention to it. I want to live life, not to work in some office while the sun shines outside and I am inside.
I am planning on moving to a commune. It fits my radical and counterculture personality. The communes I have written to, are right up my alley, although they all require hard work and labor, they also seem like they are into social justice and trying to build communities and connections inside the communes, and a fostering of caring for both the environment and people in general. I plan on visiting maybe three over the summer, and deciding if I like them. At this moment of time, I have no desire to have a regular 9-5 job in mainstream society. Right at this moment I want to sort of drop out of mainstream society, and live on a commune.
I am really trying to find myself. I don’t even know who I am and what I am supposed to do in society. Its hard enough trying to do that. Add onto that my anger, and deep emotion felt towards the war and how it affects me greatly daily, and how the world situation, the terrorism, war, homophobia and racism all bring me down. Add onto that parents who think I should immediately graduate and support myself and start thinking about jobs and my future, and its really tough to deal with
Its getting real tough right now, I have two weeks until the term ends and am in the midst of major senioritis which is rare, since I have always been a big studier. I have a class that’s really tough for me Chinese Art History, and I am worried I wont pass this class. And I am worried about what I will do if I fail the class, because if I don’t pass the class I cant graduate, I wont have enough credits.
I think for me what makes the quarter life crisis so hard is the boomers or our parents neglect or ignorance of it. When I tell my parents about the crisis they seem to think “its normal” or a rite of passage, thus making it sound like everyone goes through it and that it should be accepted. I do know a lot of people are in the middle of a crisis, but in many ways my parents trying to normalize it, also minimizes my feelings and everyone else’s feelings. Because if its normal, it is acceptable, and okay.
How do I find myself in the midst of this world situation that seems to be taking thousands of members of my generation, and sending them to iraq and then they are being killed? How does one deal with that?
How am I supposed to think about getting a job and paying the taxes and becoming an adult, when in many ways, that means getting a job and ignoring the world? Why do the pleas and the ideas of quarter lifers seem to fall on deaf ears?
In the movie Garden State, Natalie Portman says to Zach Braff, that he is “in it”. I feel that I am “in it” right now. There is so much going on, and I feel so completely lost, disillusioned, angry, and sorrowfilled. I feel like I was lied to as a child that everything is perfect. I feel lost. I feel like my innocence is gone.
I am hoping this summer, I move to a commune, and work hard at the jobs there, but on my free time, I hope to be in a field full of flowers, playing guitar, the wind in my hair, sitting free, and being free.
I feel so crazy right now, I have two weeks left hopefully in my college career, and I seem to be at the apex of this crisis. I feel like there is beauty in flowers and the sun, and animals, and the trees, and I am stuck here studying for some stupid art history exam. Again this is rare for me, usually I am really into studying. Its frustrating. And it scares me what will happen if I fail in this class. I don’t have any communes lined up until the beginning of summer.

Kitty
03-12-2007, 05:57 PM
Yeah, entering the "real world" can be scary, but I promise, it gets easier with time.

Good luck on your finals!

and1grad
03-12-2007, 06:12 PM
One of the things that helped me during senioritis was trying to keep my eye on the prize. The degree makes the hard work worth it.

In regards to your other dilemma, I guess after you try out the commune thing, you can see if its for you.

caostotale
03-12-2007, 06:13 PM
wowzers!

having been in your shoes at 22-23 and still relapsing to that state a bit every time i've been out of work, I can only suggest that you don't get bogged down taking the world and all its bullshit too seriously, because honestly the rest of the world doesn't give a damn about you. When I was in college I certainly felt more radical, but upon leaving I pared that down and came to grips with the fact that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and the best one can do is hold on and try not to get grinded through its gears. The anxiety you're showing is not necessary and can only start one down a path of stronger and harder anxiety that increases with age (because it gets harder to evolve as you grow older), so nip it in the bud and chill out. Crisis perceived is crisis achieved.

As for your class, there's little reason you shouldn't be able to pass that. I'm sure if you got this far, one art history class is not going to blow you to pieces. Get some index cards and memorize the crap. Think of how pharmacy and chemistry majors must feel in their senior years!!!

As for your innocence, that can always be reinvigorated in certain ways. A lot my youthful fascination in things got pounded out of me in college and work, but I still hold endless gleeful fascination in discovering new things and continuing my self-education. I majored in history, but since college have been allocating my free time to teaching myself math and physics and training myself in music theory. With the faculties available on the internet and in libraries these days, there should never be an excuse for someone to feel like they can't extract the Baudelairian child-like fascination from themselves. It's people who let themselves get swept up in materialist fetishism or workaholism (which often does not ever lead to fulfillment) that become worn-out husks the quickest.

You're too young to start worrying about bullshit like the quarter-life-crisis. Like the mid-life crisis, it can be dodged or ignored. The world we live in is all a crisis, and the socioeconomic malaise 20-somethings in America feel is nonsense compared to truely dehumanizing crises happening in other parts of the world like Sudan and Iraq. People living there could only hope to have our silly anxieties and worries.

teeny
03-12-2007, 09:59 PM
well, I don't know where to start. I think what you are feeling IS normal- I don't think you should get upset that your parents think its just a rite of passage. They are older and wiser and have been through wars and social/political upheavals and revolutions as well. I think its really easy to get very self-involved and get down on the fact that life seems (and maybe it is) utterly random and meaningless.
I don't think you need to simmer down and become the status quo- if you don't want a 9-5- DON'T GET ONE. It's as simple as that. You can work on a commune in New Zealand, or work as a camp counselor or as a park ranger, or really- anything. You could travel the world and find random jobs everywhere (I have a friend that left w/no money doing this for over a year- so no one can say its not possible- it just takes guts). You could find little ways to change the world, even if you do end up at a desk at least some of the time.
Point is- there is no grand plan- there is no one way to live your life. As harsh as this sounds- try to think about yourself less and about what you can contribute more- it brings a lot of peace. I have moments of craziness myself, and the thing that makes me feel better is knowing that I still have a lot I want to give to the world. And that I"m not going to spend the next 40 years going through the motions. Hell no. Life's too short.

wordsmith
03-12-2007, 10:25 PM
Hey, Sunshine...when you finish your finals, private message me, and I'll tell you a little story about options that are alternatives to the grind you don't want. Don't fret. Hope isn't lost. :) Don't borrow drama. There are alternatives. And not all are as extreme as "Well, you can chain yourself to a cubicle or you can move to a commune and live on grass." There's a great deal of middle ground.

EmberMae
03-13-2007, 09:31 AM
I can understand how you feel. Actually I often daydream about going out to a commune myself and living a life that is closer to nature, rather than being stuck sitting inside under flourescent lights all the time. But I really would miss air conditioning, movies, anti-perspirant and other comforts.

veniqe
03-13-2007, 11:18 AM
Hey there! Glad to see there's someone on here with good taste in movies. :p I dig Natalie Portmans character!!

Anyway. Welcome to QLC. Things aren't always rosey in life and that's why the "hand of Fate" brought you here - refuge and support.

I'm sure you'll pass that class. Give us an update when you can???

Adam Strange
03-18-2007, 12:01 PM
I am or was very active in social issues and the antiwar cause, but it became too much, so I rarely read the newspaper or watch the news on tv…

I know how you feel. When the war first started, I couldn’t sleep. I was so angry all the time. I blocked out all news coverage until the end of the semester. Not the most responsible thing to do but I could either be pissed all the time or function day-to-day and I chose the later.

Add onto that my anger, and deep emotion felt towards the war and how it affects me greatly daily, and how the world situation, the terrorism, war, homophobia and racism all bring me down.

Why does it have to bring you down? You’re not helping any of these causes by putting unreasonable, unfair pressure on yourself.

Maybe it should lift you up. The sheer multitude and seriousness of the social ills maybe means it’s the right time to be “a radical, a counterculture kid.” Many people romanticize the ’60s. But, in the midst of it, that era was probably scary as hell.

I think it’s good that you’ve investigated this commune and are searching for a post-graduate lifestyle that will leave you morally and culturally satisfied. Don’t take any of the “it’s only a phase” or “this is how the world works” BS. Everyone has to find their path.

And wordsmith is right, there are many alternatives between being chained to a cubicle and living in a commune.