I'm back :)

[Krissy2006]

Hi everyone :) I just wanted to write a post b/c I am back to these message boards... we'll see how it goes. I have been away for quite sometime b/c my life fell to peices for a while, and I'm only now BEGINNING like literally just the tip of the ice berg trying to get things in perspective. I put on all the weight I lost before and now I'm back to my heaviest through bingeing. More over, I actually withdrew from my classes, which I believe I wrote about before. Anyways the point is this, I have a summer coming up REALLY fast, I know I can't isolate as I did last summer... but I do really feel as though thats what I want to do, untill I have lost some weight. I have right now some ppl who don't talk to me, b/c of my tendancy to isolate when I get upset or gain weight etc. I don' tblame thme, but I want to work on these friendships and I feel as though right now I don't have the strength to do so. Is there anybody who can give me some push to get through this, thanks everyone :)

[Bman120]

Hey there, welcome back. Sorry to hear about all the awful stuff that has happened.

From my own experiences, I can tell you that isolation can feel like the right thing to do when your going through a crisis. I have done the same thing. But that good feeling does not last. Because there will come a time when you will look at yourself and realize you are totally alone. And that, combined with the knowledge that it was your own fault is one of the worst feelings ever.

The most important thing to remember is that, just like it was your choice to isolate, its also your choice to de-isolate. Meaning that no matter what you have done to isolate yourself, there is always a way to change it.

I have right now some ppl who don't talk to me, b/c of my tendancy to isolate when I get upset or gain weight etc. I don' tblame thme

I'm going to guess from this that these friends know you isolate yourself when something is wrong so they must know something is up. So I bet that if you go to them and try to open up, they will listen. And let me tell you Krissy, the BEST feeling in the world when you are down is knowing that someone else is there and understands what is happening. Its tough getting there because talking about it is hard but its well worth any feelings of concern about talking to them. Trust me.

So go out there and talk to them. Tell them what's going on and open up about things. I hope this helps and good luck!

[Krissy2006]

Thank you Bman for your post. i appreciated what you had to say. I guess fo rme right now, I'm just really afraid of everything. The fear in and of itself kills me b/c it debilitates me to do anything that I need to do. More over I'm afraid that if I reach out to these ppl they will shut me down, and right now my ego is very fragile. I guess its more of a case of not have the energy. I know I have to do SOMETHING, living the way I am, in my own world gets me no where but at the same time, I don't know if I feel ready.

For you, did your friends accept you back with open arms?... I always believed that a true friend should be there for you no matter what. Things happen in ppl's lives and even though isolating myself is not the right thing to do, not talking to me anymore isn't either.

[AshleyJordan]

Krissy, I'm very glad to hear that you're back on the right track. That's a tremendous accomplishment, so congrats!
Have you ever spoken to your therapist about group therapy? It might be helpful for you to talk with othres in the same situation.

[Kitty]

Take everything one day at a time.

[Krissy2006]

Ashley, yes I have spoken to a therapist many times lol... they all tell me the same thing, that friendship work both ways. I guess I can't help but feel guilty b/c over the past couple years I haven't been the greatest of friends, b/c I have been dealing with my own crap....

[AshleyJordan]

Ashley, yes I have spoken to a therapist many times lol... they all tell me the same thing, that friendship work both ways. I guess I can't help but feel guilty b/c over the past couple years I haven't been the greatest of friends, b/c I have been dealing with my own crap....
Krissy, please re-read my post. I'm talking about group therapy, where you'd be in a formal group with other people who also struggle with eating disorders, not 'friendship' per se, which, while important, is not as structured as what I was suggesting. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear.

[shimma]

Krissy - have to cosign what Ashley's saying. Also, it sounds to me like you need antidepressants. Stay away from Prozac, as it permanently suppresses your appetite if you take it too long, which is NOT a risk someone w/a history of eating disorders needs.

[Krissy2006]

I most certainly agree about the group support. I am actually going to be attending some next week. I am on anti-depressants/anxiety meds and no not prozac, but wow I didn't know that prozac did that.. :S.. I am also doing Jenny Craig... its a great program and it is about eating everything in moderation, I am really hopeing that this is going to help me learn how to eat, and not regain the weight.

[Bman120]

I guess fo rme right now, I'm just really afraid of everything. The fear in and of itself kills me b/c it debilitates me to do anything that I need to do.

That's understandable. Being afraid is perfectly normal, what is not good is letting that fear control you. You are headed into new territory here putting your life together. And while new can be scary, it can also be exciting. Try to keep that in mind as things go forward ok? To get a things to go in a positive direction, you need to have a positive attitude!


More over I'm afraid that if I reach out to these ppl they will shut me down, and right now my ego is very fragile. I guess its more of a case of not have the energy. I know I have to do SOMETHING, living the way I am, in my own world gets me no where but at the same time, I don't know if I feel ready.


If you dont feel that you are ready then that is totally up to you. You need to do this at a time when you are good and ready. For timing on something like that, i'd say talk to a professional like the counselors you mentioned because they might be able to help guide you in the right direction. I dont have any psychology experience besides one class in college so I dont want to risk giving you any advice there.

But being afraid they will shut you down is understandable. However, it never hurts to know for sure when you are ready to try it out. I'd talk to the therapists first before doing anything though just to get some good professional advice.

For you, did your friends accept you back with open arms?... I always believed that a true friend should be there for you no matter what. Things happen in ppl's lives and even though isolating myself is not the right thing to do, not talking to me anymore isn't either.

They did but my seperation was never really formal. For a while, I just didnt really do anything or hold any decent discussions with them. I never said I didnt want to hang out or anything like that it just sort of happened. Then, after a time, when I snapped out of it, I started talking to them more and things went bac to the way they were.

I donno how your situation went so I can't really say if the same would happen to you. But again, I really wish you luck Krissy, don't give up on yourself.