Getting over your QLC

[fuzmiq]

Are you actually still in a QLC or do you just like these boards so much you have to come everyday (like me)?

Mine is finished, I think. There is no confusion now about which direction my life is going. The fear of "what's next" is gone. I am not worried anymore. These are all very good things. I am off to grad school in August. I have a "date" with my crush this weekend (we shall see if it truly is a date). I have a good job and my social life is pretty good to.

Just wondering about all of you, just the good news.

[winneythepooh7]

I think I've been over my QLC for awhile. That's not to say I still don't deal with stress and problems in general. I guess that's just "life". I like the boards and have made some good friends here, which is why I stick around.

[wordsmith]

I'm the reverse...when I joined the boards, years ago, I wasn't really in crisis...just isolated. Having the boards as a place to connect with others my age was a nice thing, because I had recently moved to a geographically isolated place with few peers. But not really having a hard time adjusting to adulthood, no career issues, no relationship woes, etc. Just wanted to have others to talk to. I wasn never scared or confused about "what's next," etc.

That's still a driving force, but now, I've started to hit some of the issues I didn't previously have pressing on me (not able to move in the direction I want with my career, and subsequent fallout from that reality, etc.). I'm still not scared about "what's next," or confused, but I'm highly frustrated most of the time that I can't seem to get to the "what's next."

Issues may shift, and some may come into the foreground while others fade away. But it's a shifting sands kind of thing. It's not like you ever get it all figured out. It's always something. I don't feel like a lot of the challenges of this time of life go away, so much as increase and decrease in prominence, over time.

[veniqe]

I'm in Mid QLC. It's no longer as bad as it was a year ago but I'm still no where near where I'd like to be.

Part of my worries are financial. I'm still juggling bills, my cheque account has is in minus $1k, I need to get my own flat, credit card/store card debt.

But! I've begun facing my fears and totalled how much I owe, and to whom. That's a major step for me.

Relationship wise. I need to break things off with my SO because our relationship's past it's expiry date.

I was in denial last year about a lot of things. Not any more.

I figure I'll still frequent these boards for fun/support but am sure my QLC is almost finished. Touch wood..

[AshleyJordan]

Yes, my big QLC (which actually stretched from my jr year through a good chunk of grad school,) is definitely over. I'm still on the boards because I've made some good friends through QLC, to vent about my current gripes (which are more related to progressing in life now that I feel "established,) and to share advice with other, newer posters. I'd like to think that now that I've "been there, done that," on some of the issues, I can offer some helpful advice.

[wordsmith]

Yep, being able to share my experiences with people who might have questions about similar things is a big draw as well. Good call.

[PenforPrez]

I'm not over mine, and sometimes I doubt I ever will be; that's been especially true the last couple of years. I've described my QLC before to my therapist as "the Gordion Knot" (that of Alexander the Great mythology), because everything in my QLC is so interconnected, and therefore that much harder to unravel.

But there's another side to it. I've fought several rounds of depression and two serious attacks of stomach ulcers (one life-threatening) and constant lifelong stress and confusion and so many other things, and I'm still here, and damn it, I'm still going! Sometimes, when things get frustrating, I just have to look at myself and go: "You know, I'm not out of it by a long shot!" :)

Paul

[cheshrcarol]

My main QLC was over before I joined. I was miserable with my life after college - dead-end job, no money, college friends spread out, and growing apart from the friends I did have in the area.

Some things have changed, some haven't. What's really changed is my attitude towards my life and the way I handle things. My future is still a big black hole, which is difficult to deal with, but no one's life is ever laid out neatly in front of them.

I stick around here for the interaction and the good friends I've made.

[sparky88]

I am over my quarter life crisis. I still have things I worry about, but when I first started visiting these boards about 2 years ago I was;

1. living with my now X far from my family/friends in a dying relationship
2. working under criminals for minimal pay and not getting paid my comissions
3. eating rice, oatmeal, and canned veggies nearly everyday because I could not afford anything more.
4. without health insurance
5. unable to pay back my student loans at the time
6. working 7 days a week, 3 jobs to make ends meat.
7. depressed, exhausted, isolated are a few words to describe my life.

Now:

1. married to my soulmate
2. have a great job (non-criminal boss), 40-55 hours per week, M-F
3. have health insurance
4. eat a healthy diet, full of variety
5. have paid off 1 out of 3 of my student loans, and paid the others down significantly
6. almost have my car paid off
7. looking at buying a house
8. have money saved for retirement
9. happy, content, and extremely thankful are a few words to describe my life now.

It's been a 180 turn over the last 2-3 years.

I like the boards because they are entertaining.

[fuzmiq]

Sparky, that is great news about your life. I guess it goes to show that so much can change in a short span of time.