who just doesn't "get life" anymore?

[BLK95TA]

im 27 (28 in july) living back at my parents house partially due to their kidney illnesses this winter (mother had failed kidney transplant, father got sepsys) well my mom's still in the hospital, they abandoned the kidney transplant so she's gonna be on dialosys (sp) for life. hopefully she'll get out of the hospital eventually (has been in since december 12th)

my dad got out so i helped him while he was recovering by driving him places, but now that he's back to work and i just can't deal with hospitals so i didnt end up being my mothers care person like i was going to be (but that was gonna be at home, not being in some hospital having to wear a gown and gloves and shit, which i refuse to do) anyway ive maybe been up there twice in the last month and i just hang around the door so i dont have to do the gown thing...

anyway back to me... im unemployed, ive had 8 IT jobs since graduating college in may 2003 with an A.A.S. most i either quit because i didnt like the job/pay (ie the pay sucked compared to what they wanted us to do) or i was canned. The one job i can say i would have stayed at, paid almost 2x what the job before it did.. it was suppoed to be 1 year contract and the contract was cut after only 2 months... that job lasted from sept 12th to oct 28th. ive been unemployed since then and i just have no desire to go back to making $15/hr in a call center or other helpdesk type job (the contracting job paid $28.25) i was living in Phoenix paying $800 a month in rent, and now all my stuff and my car is out there in storage while im here in indiana. i find myself lately hoping i just go to sleep and dont wake up.. ive even imagined how my life will end a few times....I just really dont get it anymore... if life is going to be so miserable, whats the point? i would much rather live it up for the next 2 years or so, like max out all my credit cards and have like $60k to play with for 2 years, and drop dead at 30.


[/rant]

[winneythepooh7]

Your post is frightening me. What I recommend is trying to speak with the hospital social work staff where your mom is and letting them know how you feel about everything related to your parents. Maybe they have resources for you and your family, like respite or a home attendant. Maybe there are some support groups you can get involved in. I also think just not having other things to focus on is putting you in an even worse gloom and doom state. You should try to get out of the house and do things so your mind is busy. Is there also a mental health hotline you can call? Maybe they have some resources they can share for you. I also think even if you find something P/T or entry-level to do in terms of work, it will be helpful because at least your mind will be focused on other things.

[theaterbuff]

im 27 (28 in july) living back at my parents house partially due to their kidney illnesses this winter (mother had failed kidney transplant, father got sepsys) well my mom's still in the hospital, they abandoned the kidney transplant so she's gonna be on dialosys (sp) for life. hopefully she'll get out of the hospital eventually (has been in since december 12th)

my dad got out so i helped him while he was recovering by driving him places, but now that he's back to work and i just can't deal with hospitals so i didnt end up being my mothers care person like i was going to be (but that was gonna be at home, not being in some hospital having to wear a gown and gloves and shit, which i refuse to do) anyway ive maybe been up there twice in the last month and i just hang around the door so i dont have to do the gown thing...

anyway back to me... im unemployed, ive had 8 IT jobs since graduating college in may 2003 with an A.A.S. most i either quit because i didnt like the job/pay (ie the pay sucked compared to what they wanted us to do) or i was canned. The one job i can say i would have stayed at, paid almost 2x what the job before it did.. it was suppoed to be 1 year contract and the contract was cut after only 2 months... that job lasted from sept 12th to oct 28th. ive been unemployed since then and i just have no desire to go back to making $15/hr in a call center or other helpdesk type job (the contracting job paid $28.25) i was living in Phoenix paying $800 a month in rent, and now all my stuff and my car is out there in storage while im here in indiana. i find myself lately hoping i just go to sleep and dont wake up.. ive even imagined how my life will end a few times....I just really dont get it anymore... if life is going to be so miserable, whats the point? i would much rather live it up for the next 2 years or so, like max out all my credit cards and have like $60k to play with for 2 years, and drop dead at 30.


[/rant]

so I can relate.

I'm 29 and I've had all these IT tech support jobs
BUt 15 bucks an hour would be heaven for me right now!

I make 10 dollars an hour with a bachelors degree!

Never mind me I'm bitter.

But back to your problem.

I would suggest counciling.

I know I need it too because my life is diectionless.

[BLK95TA]

so I can relate.

I'm 29 and I've had all these IT tech support jobs
BUt 15 bucks an hour would be heaven for me right now!

I make 10 dollars an hour with a bachelors degree!

Never mind me I'm bitter.

But back to your problem.

I would suggest counciling.

I know I need it too because my life is diectionless.

depends on where you live

in areas like Phoenix or Ft lauderdale $15/hr might as well be $15/hr by the time you write that $800+ rent check

[gdewers]

Sounds like your "purpose" right now is to care for your parents and that is a valiant job. I would seek either cognitive therapy or even career therapy. I think a lot of us are here because we wonder who we are and what we should be doing.
Its perfectly normal at times to have thoughts of just "not waking up". That means you are thinking. You are trying to think of ways out of your current unhappiness, and while "not waking up" is an option, its not the right choice. There are other ways. If this sounds more and more like your only option get help immediately.
Just know this feeling is temporary, focus on your parents right now if they need you, thats a respectable job. :) You will be able to find a fulfilling job that is all about your interests. Hang in there.