Stress, Xanax, Effexor and a place I don't wanna be, ugh!

[capella]

I think I might die of stress. Seriously. I just need to get this out there somewhere so it's out of my head and not bugging the people in my RL who have enough on their plates.

First, my granma is dying. Probably soon. I have to fly up tomorrow afternoon. She's in the ICU now and her bowel ruptured (who knows why), she had emergency surgery and is about to be put on a ventilator. She has lung cancer that has spread to her thyroid and probably other locations, but she is not doing well at all. That alone is enough of a stressor in someone's life.

Second, the job/money situation. I have no idea what I will be doing next year, or this summer. I have an interview VERY early tomorrow morning (before 7:30 am) that is extremely important to my sanity and monetary success. It's a big deal and it's the job I've been waiting for. I need this job and I need to not teach anymore. I am burnt out completely. Any heart I had for it has been stomped out of me this year (and I'm sooooo entirely sad about this. Really.). I might be OK after a summer break and a fresh start with different kids next year, but damn right now I don't want to be within 20 yards of a public school. Ugh. I have this important interview and then I'm catching a plane.

Third, my grad classes (two of them) start on Monday. Because I don't have enough on my plate yet.

Fourth, all of this has gotten me to a point where the constant anxiety is bad enough that my doctor put me on Xanax (at my request because DAMN this is too much at once). I think I might have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) anyhow, but it's always been managable and enough of an edge that it's been a good thing. Not so much when you can't sleep for all the running thoughts and restless, keyed up tension. So now he put me on Effexor for anxiety disorder control (and it's an anti-depressant, but it's supposed to be good for treating GAD. Anyone know anything about generalized anxiety disorder?? Oh, and my cholesterol is slightly high. :rolleyes:

There are other things I'm not listing because they don't seem important compared to those big four. :eek: :eek: Why does everything life altering happen at once?

[Rusalka]

Really sorry to hear you're going through so much all at once. That sucks.

Sorry to hear that your grandma's so ill. It's always hard to deal with. Hope you can spend some quality time with her on your trip.

Good luck with the interview too, and hope the medication helps you with everything. sorry i don't really have any helpful advice for you. take care!

[GirlJames]

Hi Capella,

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. My thoughts are with you, hang in there.

I've had recurring problems with GAD and depression since college (probably 6 or 7 years now). I've tried therapy in the past and just recently decided to try meds. For me it's just super hereditary, and like you said, the anxiety can be good in a way as far as keeping you focused, but any additional outside stress can easily send you over the edge.

The first thing my doc tried was Lexapro, an SSRI. She said that Lexapro and Effexor are two of the newest anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds and are less likely to cause side effects like weight gain and sexual dysfunction that have traditionally been a problem with this type of medication. Unfortunately, some people end up having to "run the gamet" with ADs and find one that works without making them sick, lethargic and/or zombie-like. Lexapro made me sick and lethargic, so I'm on to Wellbutrin.

This is a website that I've found to be really helpful -
http://crazymeds.org/ (http://crazymeds.org/)
As you can probably tell by the name :heehee: it's not a site full of medical jibber or one that's run by a drug company selling a product. It's a community of people (with a sense of humor) sharing their own experiences with a wide variety of different medications.

But hopefully the Effexor combined with Xanax will be a success for you and you won't have to deal with trying to find "your" medication.

By the way, my cholesterol is slightly high, too. I was put on Lipitor at 25. Talk about bad genetics. All I inherited from my parents is crazy and high cholesterol. :googly:

[spokes]

is there a way to take some stuff off your plate/simplify your life for the short term? (i.e. perhaps now is not the right time to go to grad school).

[pisces2473]

Effexor is the bomb. You will *heart* it.

[entrophize]

I'll be the first to tell you that Effexor is NOT the bomb.

The side effects are simply vicious. I might alone in saying this, but my experience with the drug was borderline traumatic.

I was on a relatively low dosage, too (50mg).

The withdrawal effects were even worse (brain zapping, insomnia, acute dizziness, nausea, etc.).

Please, please, please consider homepathic alternatives before opting for a med schedule including SSRI's or SNRI's (Effexor, Zoloft, etc.).

Try Omega 3 fatty acid supplements and up your exercise. I'm quite sure you'll feel the difference in a matter of days.

[pisces2473]

Remember, everyone reacts differently to meds, thankyouverymuch.

[Quench]

I have used Effexor in the past and had great results as to a decrease in depression. It was really the only antidepressant that worked for me. However, if I forgot to take it, I would get a horrible stomach ache and headache. I also had a lot of trouble sleeping when I first started taking it, but that evened out after I was on it for awhile. Thinking about it now, the side effects were horrible at first, but I got a lot of benefit so they were worth dealing with, especially since they lessened as time went on.

[pisces2473]

Quench, were you really tired when you first started it? I wake up a few times during the night, and I am DRAGGING the next day, but I can't tell if it's the meds (only been on it a few weeks) or the changing of the weather/spring allergies kicking in.

[Quench]

Yeah, I had A LOT of sleeping problems at first. I would fall asleep fine but then wake up around 2 or 3 and be wide awake. Then the next day would suck. It evened out after awhile. I also took Ambien for awhile too, but when my prescription for that ran out, I stopped taking it and by that time I guess my body was used to the Effexor enough that I no longer had sleeping problems.

[pisces2473]

Wow, okay, thanks!

Glad to know I'm not alone. I am not at my max dosage yet. My APRN wants me to work up to 150mg, I'm at 112 now...

[capella]

First, thanks GirlJames. Great post and I already feel better. Apparently all I inherited was crazy, heart palpitations for no reason, and high cholesterol.

When I was helping my mom, aunt and grandfather clear out some of my grandma's clothing and other personal belongings I found two entirely full bottles of Buspar in her cabinet. Apparently she had GAD too and refused to take any meds for it (she was convinced that it was an antidepressant, but Buspar is NOT an antidepressant... it's just not a benzo tranquilizer).

My mom then went on to tell me that my great-grandma had anxiety issues too (as well as my mom and aunt), so at least I come by it honestly. Then my dad is bipolar (I am NOT, thankfully). And then your standard depression. But I'm really not sad as much as I am anxious on a constant basis. Until I had the Xanax I didn't remember what calm felt like. It is a REALLY low dosage because the benzos scare me. There is enough addiction in my family and I thankfully only have a craving for sugary bad foods when I'm not feeling so great. No drugs or booze issues.

Really, I think it's very mild and not necessarily a bad thing when I'm not additionally stressed out. But if I were to list all the crap that's changed or stressed me this year, well, you all might feel the stress coming out of the computer screen.

[capella]

As far as not starting grad school, well, it's a little too late and all my classes right now are online so I will be OK. I just needed to take today off and relax for a bit.

I start my new job at the beginning of June. I am terrified, but I know that it's a good thing for me. I'm just scared of losing the security (well, the veil of security anyhow since you can lose your job in teaching too.... it's just you know when you're out of luck and it's not a surprise... not that I'd be fired for MY performance since I know I can do the job). It's just one of those worries that shouldn't be.

I have pretty decent benefits. 9/80 schedule so I have every other Friday off free and clear, standard holidays, most likely the week between Christmas and New Year's off (it's a paid week off in addition to vacation time unless there's a big project with a deadline at that time), decent health insurance (I don't get any until October and I'm not sure when this insurance runs out).

I will pay about 100 or so a month for insurance and they have a 401K company matching at 4% of my salary, which will be 40K (:eek: :eek: :eek: ). They offered 38K and I asked for 40K and got it!!! I almost threw up when I was asking. New thing for me to negotiate my pay. The union does it now. Well, they do a crappy job at it too. I NEVER got a 2K increase up front in teaching. I'd have to teach 10 YEARS to reach 40K in my current job. :eek:

And.... let's see. I have 4,000 saved that was for my summer bills, but I guess that's just straight savings now. I have NEVER had 4K saved for simply savings all my entire life. Things are going VERY well for me personally. I truly hope that NOT teaching will save my stress levels. I hope that I won't feel entirely drained. I can't describe WHAT exactly it is about teaching that just wipes a person out. It's something you have to experience to really understand.

My title is Content Developer (it's basically instructional design). I will be designing, editing and writing online training for teachers (mostly how to use technology in the classroom). They also do corporate soft skills trainings, but right now the projects are all for school districts (locally and across the country). I will also be sifting through resumes of contract writers, hiring and working with them on editing content. Small office (basically me, my boss and a few computer programmers in my department). The company is larger (they have sales and marketing departments too).

I guess that's about it. Wish me luck. :)

[EmberMae]

Congrats on your job. I have tried several anxiety/depression drugs. Effexor and Lexapro both made me nauseous to the point that I could not function and would rather just deal with the stress. Supposedly it takes a month for them to really start working but I couldn't make it that far because of the nausea. I also tried Cymbalta with the same effect.

I was eventually put on Prozac with Xanax and Ambien to take at night. I quit it all cold turkey when I quit teaching. I had trouble sleeping for about 2 weeks, but I was not working so it was okay. Otherwise I was and am fine. I've come to accept that I'm just not a real happy bubbly person and I will probably have dysthymia the rest of my life and am succeptible to anxiety problems if I get myself into a situation where too much stress is placed upon me. Honestly though now that I have a job that is less stressful overall, and even when it is stressful, I simply do not vest as much of myself into it and I can literally go home and forget about it for the most part, the stress does not get to me as much as it did when I was teaching. I just need to be careful and avoid taking on too much. I also am succeptible to restless thoughts preventing me from sleeping. I find it helps to read escapist fiction for 30 minutes to an hour before bed, and the fact that I basically don't think about my job when I'm not at work really helps too.

[capella]

You know Ember, I think it might be teaching that's sent me over the edge into the anxiety stresspool (hehe) too. I haven't felt at all to the level of my daily stress in the past week. And my grandmother died for crying out loud. That's not stressing me out as much as teaching does. Good golly, that's really saying something.

I had forgotten the Effexor and Xanax when I rushed out to fly up so I didn't have it with me all week. I took the second 37.5 starter pill yesterday and I felt like crap. I needed a Xanax just to sleep and I literally felt like my skin was crawling. I got so tired and then really restless. I woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep.

I started thinking... it's probably the job. Really. I do have anxiety issues, and I taught for THREE years and it's just now getting to the point where I need tranquilizers to cope. I can take a good heap of stress and not break down. And I'm really not sad at all. I am not depressed, I am stressed out. I know they often go hand in hand. But it's the stress that's the issue not depression.

Perhaps I'll just hold on to the Xanax (it's really low dosage) for this last week and a half of school and let it go at that. Thoughts?

[EmberMae]

I think that's a good idea. I've heard Xanax is VERY addictive and VERY bad to take for long periods of time. I took 1/2 of a pill every day for about 2 months and had few withdrawl symptoms with the exception of sleeplessness. Just stop taking it and see how your new job goes. I doubt, with how little time you have left, that the Effexor would really do you much good anyway, since it takes so long to start working.