My mom passed away saturday 5/19

[BLK95TA]

After her lung problem last Sunday she was in pretty bad shape, and when they took her off sedatives a few times during the week, she didnt wake up.

After consulting with the Dr today, we made the decision to take the vent. tube out of her and stop the blood pressure medication. she passed peacifully about 45 minutes later.

RIP Nancy Dennis

2/25/47-5/19/07


For those of you who dont remember my posts a few months ago, both my mom and my dad ended up in the hospital with kidney issues (my mom's stemming from a kidney transplant and her antiphospholitic syndrome, and my dad caught sepsys) anyway i was unemployed at the time (still am, and UI just ran out) and came back to be here when my dad got out of the hospital in mid february so i could take him to dialosys ad therapy... He is back on his feet and working again, but now im wondering with all thats happened maybe i should go back to PHX and get all my stuff (its sitting in storage @ 200+ a month) and stay here for a year or so, try to find something decent paying here, and concentrate on paying down student loans ($7k) and credit card debt ($10k) rather than jumping back out into the rat race that is phx or any other major city and start paying $800/mo+ for rent again on a $30k income....

my dad says he supports whatever i decide and would help me out some either way.. im just wondering right now if i should stay away from jumping back into huge rent and such...


any advice?

[WorkInProgress]

So sorry to hear this. My sincerest condolences to you and yours.

[dacrunkest]

I am terribly sorry to hear this. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[blue27]

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad died in 2002, it was the hardest thing I had to deal with.. and i think jumping back into the rat race after something like this may be to soon, I think maybe staying with your Dad may help you get through those emotions and feelings, you both can support each other..maybe stay there for a while, get your stuff, regroup, grieve and then after some time go back to px. You both will be in my prayers.

[wordsmith]

First off, I am extremely sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with very ill parents, and for things to go this way. I can't imagine.

I think you should focus for yourself on doing whatever's most financially sound and get the ball rolling on handling those concerns...that might mean staying where it's less expensive, providing you can find work.

[Rusalka]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know that the loss of a parent is devastating. I'll be thinking of you.

If I have any advice, it would be this: be as kind to yourself as possible. Don't put any pressure on yourself to do too much or decide anything yet. And do whatever you need to do to deal with your feelings. I think making a decision about where to work and live would be a huge step at this time; is there any way you could take some down time for, say, a month before you make definite plans?

[Ciderhillnh]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I cant even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

Virtual Hug.

[mishl982]

I'm so sorry to hear this. (((HUGS)))

[old_school_soul]

Sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose a mom. It'll be 7 years come August since mine's been gone. It's hard to say what the best thing to do is -- It sounds like if you move back with your dad you can save some money and support each other emotionally -- and that's a huge thing -- but it is dependent on getting a job. I would say solidfy your job oppurtunity in your father's town before you move.

[and1grad]

Also just wanted to extend my sincerest condolences. I cant imagine how you feel but maybe it wouldnt be a bad idea to give yourself a little time before making such a decision. Just a thought.

[pisces2473]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please, take some time for yourself, and then make your next step.

[spiritedaway]

First and foremost, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

I'd say do what makes the most sense for you financially at this point. Take some time for yourself. There will be plenty of time for the rat race in the future. Take care.

*HUGS*

[TinyDancer]

So sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you. . .

I think that I have to echo everyone else's advice. Take some time and do what feels right and what you can handle emotionally.

[Adam Strange]

I am so sorry about your loss. You and your family have my deepest condolences. I’ll echo some other people and say that I think now is the time to be with your family and mourn your mom. Worry about finances and rat races later.

[Bman120]

Hey there, i'm so sorry for your loss. i'd say to go where you are most likely to get a decent job. Is where you are now a good place to find a job that will support you? And is it better or worse than the place where your stuff is in storage? If where you are now is as good or better, then i'd say stay where you are.

[NoWomanNoCry]

I know it can get old to hear, but I am so sorry for your loss. Trust me, I know exactly what you are going through - my mom died 7 years ago (I was ony 20 at the time).

Honestly, at this point I would avoid major committments of any kind - financial or otherwise. Work on getting things back together, including yourself and your family.

Best wishes.

[BLK95TA]

Hey there, i'm so sorry for your loss. i'd say to go where you are most likely to get a decent job. Is where you are now a good place to find a job that will support you? And is it better or worse than the place where your stuff is in storage? If where you are now is as good or better, then i'd say stay where you are.

phoenix is probably better as far as pay goes but thats not saying much...like if i got a $15/hr job there, but a $10 an hr job here.. it would almost be a wash cause i wouldnt be paying rent/utils to the tune of $1000 a month. I do need to get that stuff out of storage in phx though, ive spent almost $1000, and other than my Trans Am, there isnt much in the way of valuable stuff in there (the sum of all the other stuff is maybe $3000-$5000 and thats at replacement prices)

[wordsmith]

phoenix is probably better as far as pay goes but thats not saying much...like if i got a $15/hr job there, but a $10 an hr job here.. it would almost be a wash cause i wouldnt be paying rent/utils to the tune of $1000 a month. I do need to get that stuff out of storage in phx though, ive spent almost $1000, and other than my Trans Am, there isnt much in the way of valuable stuff in there (the sum of all the other stuff is maybe $3000-$5000 and thats at replacement prices)

It doesn't matter if the pay is better if the cost of living eats up the pay increase.

I know from your posts that you can't really afford to just kinda float on this. I'm sorry you don't have more of a breather before you start making these kinds of decisions, though.

[Deavan]

After her lung problem last Sunday she was in pretty bad shape, and when they took her off sedatives a few times during the week, she didnt wake up.

After consulting with the Dr today, we made the decision to take the vent. tube out of her and stop the blood pressure medication. she passed peacifully about 45 minutes later.

RIP Nancy Dennis

2/25/47-5/19/07



Hi, I am really really really sorry for your loss. I have walked in your shoes it will be 2 years in July since my mother passed away, she too was very sick and I had to make the decision to pull the plug as well. The only advice I can give you at the moment is to not let the grief take you down, and to focus all your energy into being their for your father and finding a new job. I suggest living at home with your Dad and getting a job nearby, no point paying rent if you can save that money. Your father is going to need you during this adjustment period and you too will need your father. Best of luck.