Inviting friends out

[PenforPrez]

Doies anybody else ever have a problem asking friends to hang out? When I'm seriously wanting to do it, I get very nervous about asking. I guess I'm afraid they'll say no or something. :redface:

A friend of mine from my Meetup group recently gave me her phone number, and we talk quite a bit. I was going into STL on Sunday, and I wanted to invite her to hang out where I was going. I just couldn't do it.

First of all, she has two kids, which is always a problem. Second, I didn't want her to see it as a date; I didn't want that kind of pressure involved. I mentioned it to her offhand; turns out she likes to stay home on Sunday. :p It works out, though. She's offered to take me clothes shopping. :)

Just wondered if anybody had trouble with this.

Paul

[Mr. Wiggles]

The only problem for me is actually making the schedules work out. Since my friends are more busy than they were before, it is hard to just set a time and place to do something.

If you get past the fear of will they or won't they, you realize it is more of putting the offer out there. Nothing is wrong with that. Be the better person and just have an open invite but have "back up" things to do just in case. If they accept, then everything is all good. If not, then don't sweat it because you have a back up plan anyways. In the end, you will be too busy to worry about anything.

[phaedra]

I have issues with this too. I know why though, I'm very self-conscious because many of who I considered close friends stopped emailing/calling/whatever after we all graduated undergrad. I wonder is it me, or are they just lazy? Of course I always think it's me and I don't want to disturb someone if they don't want to hang out with me anymore. But that is more than likely my paranoid, self-conscious reaction more than it is the truth.

But what I'm starting to realize more and more is that I really don't have a lot of friends to do stuff with anymore, so the only thing I can do is put myself out there and ask potential friends to hang out, because the worst that can happen is that they say no. I'm also reconnecting with some of my undergrad friends a little more because I'm putting in the effort. It may take a couple of attempts, but eventually, they do (or some of them) do respond.

So the next time you feel like you're having issues with this, ask yourself why you're getting nervous, and what is the worst that can happen. :)