Be careful

[Kylulu]

I just wanted to put a word of advice out there for the readers of this forum. Be careful what you post online, even if you don't name names, or cities or anything you think will identify you.

I posted infrequently here about a year ago. I was having some trouble with my fiance. We got couples' therapy and worked through our issues. I had a total of 7 posts here, about 4 or 5 were about these issues.

My sister was familiar with this pseudonym that I've used for years, obviously had too much time on her hands, and found my posts here. She printed them out and mailed them to my mother, and told various family members and friends about their contents.

What set off her vile behavior? I'm not sure, we've never been close, but she was to be in my wedding party this summer until she randomly went off and told everyone "she couldn't support my marriage." That's sort of funny since I supported her in her wedding a few years ago, helped her with it, and stood for her. I have a feeling she's jealous that my fiance and I are buying a house. Or perhaps she can't stand the fact I exist, or that I'm happy with my life. Who knows?

She's using my posts here about problems I had in my relationship MORE THAN A YEAR ago as a reason my family members should "boycott" my wedding. Fortunately, my mother already knew about the problems my fiance and I went through, so the post print outs mailed to her were no surprise. But as my sister seems intent on destroying me -- somehow proving she's the "good" daughter and I'm the "bad" daughter -- who knows where those posts will end up. I have deleted them from here.

There's many things I could say, and I'm sure my sister is intently watching this board for my posts, so here's what I have to say to you:

I truly feel sorry for you. I knew you were unhappy, but I never thought it ran this deep that you feel like you need to destroy me to feel good about yourself. Please, please get some help.

Until you do, I want nothing to do with you and your vile behavior. I was hoping you'd at least come to my wedding, but now I absolutely do not want you there. Rest assured that no matter what you do, I am happy and content with my life and my choice of husband, and nothing you can do or say will change that.

[dacrunkest]

Well, I would say that is incredibly rude of your sister to do that. Very unsister-like, indeed. If she doesn't like your husband, she should take the advice of Jimminy Cricket: "if you can't say something nice, say nothing".

It is unfortunate that this happened. I understand that these boards are a semi-public place, but they are also a place to air personal issues and problems, and it is just too bad that your sister had to ruin that experience for you.

Your sister seems like a real pill. But it also seems like she has a lot of personal issues to deal with, and it is unfortunate because now she has pushed at least one person out of her life through her actions.

[winneythepooh7]

I'm sorry that this happened to you and your sister felt the need to do this. But you have brought up a good point. I do know regular posters who have had stuff they posted on this site, used against them in their personal life. I guess we need to all be a little more careful of our identity because you never know who is watching and what kind of sickos are out there in cyberspace.

[CityGal]

So sorry to hear that. Talk about holding grudges. I thought I was bad, but I would never do all that.

[meatwad]

I would pretty much throwdown with my brother for that. He'd most likely kick my ass, but I'd still look like the good guy because everyone knows I'm the good one. :D

[shadeofgreen]

I've thought about this...not because I write anything particularly incriminating, but I sometimes wonder if people I write about would rather not be written about in a public forum like this. Even though I don't use people's names, I don't really hide anything, which is probably a dumb idea. Maybe I should go delete some posts now...

[Rachelcay]

I'm the "mean" vile sister who was referred to in the above post. I just thought you would like to find out how the story end..My sister who posted suffers from a mental illness that has completely wrecked her life--- she got fired from her job, and has to start practically over again in her career. Not to mention hospitalization due to it. She is not living with her husband of only a few months now. She posted on this site that she took down before posting this message that she had an affair and included some disturbing behaviors that was not her at all..it was her illness. Yes I admit sending the posts to our mother only in hopes that we could have in intervention and get her the help she desperately needed since I knew she respects and listens to our mother. Not to wreck her marriage or that I was jelious of her and her home that she now does not live in. Someone that suffers from mental illness does not need to make life alternating decisions such as marriage until they get the help and medication they need. Instead my mother turned on me and refused to help my sister when I'm the only one who at the time lived within 3 hours of her and saw her behavior and her downward spiral. So I decided not to attend nor stand up for her at the wedding because this was not my sister in her right mind making rational decisions. You may not agree with my decision I made and that is your opinion and I respect that but it was the right decision for me and my own family.


So please keep in mind the internet does not tell the whole story of what is going on in someones life.

[IPlanTheCity]

and the story unfolds...

[wordsmith]

Is there any reason to air private family dirty laundry in this way?

[winneythepooh7]

I hope you both, as well as your family, find the help that you need, and in a more appropriate outlet/setting.

[spokes]

yikes, lots of drama in the family - hopefully you guys can get some help and work it out.

as an aside it was interesting reading the other side of the story.