30 HAS to be the new 20-so far my 20s are not going well!

[Fashionista]

I am hoping to hell that my 30s will be like how my 20s should be because I cannot catch a break!!!!!!!!!! WTH?

You are told to go to school and get your BA to get better opportunities but when you hit the work force there are people who have GED who have waaay better jobs that you have!

I just find it amazing that I worked my way through school, starved, went without, was stressed to high heaven, burning myself out only to get out in the real world and find that the 4 years I spent towards my goal *might* be 4 years of my life I wasted! I know it's wrong to feel like that but I am just TIRED of working harder and still never getting anywhere. It's like I am moving 1 step ahead and taking 2-3 backwards

The the ultimate kick in the ego was when I took my new job and was looking at all the opportunity and promise that is here to see that some of the people who I answer to are my age (It makes me wonder how did they "make it" but I didn't) and that even with me working hard here I am barely scrapping by and need a second job!

I don't mind working hard but seemingly working 60+hrs a week just to pay my bills is horrific!

I know people are gonna come in and say "well relocate, cut cost, go back to grad school, get a roommate, move back in with parents, don't give up!" which all just impossible for me:Can't/won't relocate without a job offer or enough money to do so, I already just have the basics so what else is there to cut?, I want to go to grad school but need a way to not only go but keep a roof over my head, roommates is out, my parents are deadbeats 99.9% of the time and as for not giving up how can I not want too? Besides who is to say if I did most of these things (like relocate, etc) I would actually "make it"? Seems like a careless stab in the dark to me.

I go to work and see folks like me who are struggling because the cost of living is too high but wages never seem to go up! But what makes it worse for me is that I worked so hard and went without so long to get more education only to find that I still can't get ahead. Then everyone who never went for their BA looks at me like "well YOU must be the f**k up because you have an education and can't make it, what's wrong with you?"

I actually loath seeing family because they actually get some perversed pleasure out of seeing me not doing as well as they are. You should see the smirks and grins. It's pathetic

anyway that is the end of my rant

[wordsmith]

30 is actually not bad at all.

For me, my 20s were full of stress and upheaval. I'm not gonna miss that so much.

[beeblebrox]

I can relate. I'm 27, two years out of graduate school, with a job that I can pay the bills, but still a much lower salary because I don't have a lot of work experience. It's funny that this thread came up because this a**hole who sits next to me pointed up a job at my company as an administrative assistant position starting at 50k. I have a BA and MA and I'm making less than an admin. assistant. that depressed me a little bit.

[wordsmith]

Most admins I know make more than I do, don't feel badly.

[AshleyJordan]

Fashionista, I can totally relate to your situation today

[fuzmiq]

I can relate. I'm 27, two years out of graduate school, with a job that I can pay the bills, but still a much lower salary because I don't have a lot of work experience. It's funny that this thread came up because this a**hole who sits next to me pointed up a job at my company as an administrative assistant position starting at 50k. I have a BA and MA and I'm making less than an admin. assistant. that depressed me a little bit.

I am working as an admin now and going back to get my MA cause I don't want to stay in it. I do some days regret getting my degree as far as the money aspect. I could be making the same money that I am making right now if I had never gone....and without the loans to pay back!!!

Of course the education is invaluable...yet overpriced. :)

[HollyM]

'Then everyone who never went for their BA looks at me like "well YOU must be the f**k up because you have an education and can't make it, what's wrong with you?"'

I had that situation yesterday... I know what you mean about the whole situation in the workplace, answering to people who are the same age/younger than you because they didn't go to uni. Fortunately I'm getting out of the job I'm in at the mo cause I hate it, won't be a day too soon! I'm sure this isn't true in all cases but one thing I've noticed is many people who left school and didn't go to uni have never moved out of their hometown. I know that's not a reason to get into lots of debt but that is one plus point I've noticed when I've been sitting doing admin and wondering what was the point of going to uni.

[Fashionista]

I should say the people that are near my age or are my age are not terrible towards me but I can't help but look at them and see their lives as how mine should have played out. Its like every opportunity I went for I didn't get, but they did which is how they have this fabulous job and I am the low wage assistant. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous--because I am.

I just feel like I am in a twlight zone here. I was always told working hard is the key, but it's not. I worked hard and struggled more than the average person and still have hardly anything to show for it but my degree and an award for academic achievement.

Hard work and achievement (even small ones) are supposed to make you feel good but I don't. I feel like a damned fool! Yes education is key, but not the key most of us need right now.

I know I am not alone in this feeling but I really hope I don't have to wait until I am 30yrs old (which is 5 years away) to have a semi normal life with REAL career options that fit my education. I really don't think I could take 5 years of this.

[Adam Strange]

I just find it amazing that I worked my way through school, starved, went without, was stressed to high heaven, burning myself out only to get out in the real world and find that the 4 years I spent towards my goal *might* be 4 years of my life I wasted! I know it's wrong to feel like that but I am just TIRED of working harder and still never getting anywhere.

It’s not the least bit wrong to feel this way. The amount we put into our lives and careers and the little we get out is amazing.

The the ultimate kick in the ego was when I took my new job and was looking at all the opportunity and promise that is here to see that some of the people who I answer to are my age (It makes me wonder how did they "make it" but I didn't) and that even with me working hard here I am barely scrapping by and need a second job!

I’m sort of at the other end of this. My assistant is older than I am and so was her predecessor. My writers are mostly freelancers, few of whom I’ve met face-to-face but I try to keep my age a secret. Many of them are my age or older -- one’s been writing for this paper since my freshman year of high school -- and I am constantly criticizing and evaluating them.

How did I "make it" when they didn’t? I have no idea.

I know people are gonna come in and say "well relocate, cut cost, go back to grad school, get a roommate, move back in with parents, don't give up!" which all just impossible for me:Can't/won't relocate without a job offer or enough money to do so, I already just have the basics so what else is there to cut?, I want to go to grad school but need a way to not only go but keep a roof over my head, roommates is out, my parents are deadbeats 99.9% of the time and as for not giving up how can I not want too?

I am in the exact same scenario is all five areas. None are cut and dry decisions. Plus when you’ve done all you’ve done thinking financial independence and esteem were the end result, you begin to distrust any formula for a better life.

[winneythepooh7]

What did you major in again? Honestly, I think a lot of what you are going through is just the area you live in, and nothing that you have personally done. It's really hard to find good jobs to come by there. I think I've asked this before but would moving closer to NYC ever be an option for you? I think you'd find much better job prospects.

[Fashionista]

What did you major in again? Honestly, I think a lot of what you are going through is just the area you live in, and nothing that you have personally done. It's really hard to find good jobs to come by there. I think I've asked this before but would moving closer to NYC ever be an option for you? I think you'd find much better job prospects.


i've tried applying for jobs in NYC numerous times since graduating and still cannot get anything. The city is not that far to commute to but if no one is willing to give me a chance what else can I do really? I have friends I went to HS with who are struggling badly down there to find steady work.

[winneythepooh7]

What about Westchester, like White Plains area? I take the train there a couple times a week to my office there and there seem to be a ton of people on the train that look like they are in their 20's.

[redav]

i've tried applying for jobs in NYC numerous times since graduating and still cannot get anything. The city is not that far to commute to but if no one is willing to give me a chance what else can I do really? I have friends I went to HS with who are struggling badly down there to find steady work.
Nobody likes to admit this, but it really is about knowing the right people who will let you get a foot in the door. A degree usually helps (a lot) when getting your first job, but from that point on, it's all about what you've accomplished. So, once you land a job (even if it isn't a good one), you have to grab it by the horns and really show them what you're worth.

When I was in school, the profs told us that co-oping was critical and that we should all take the time (basically it adds a year or more to the program) to do it. I didn't believe them at the time, but now I know that every word of it was true.

[dacrunkest]

In my 20s I have had a pretty decent asendency of happiness with some chaotic moments thrown in between. I have explored some of our great land, learned how to live on my own and be independent far away from home, earned a degree, won someone's heart, had someone special win mine. I have also experienced moments of terrible lonliness, depression, frustration, hopelessness, and anger. That's the emotional soup of life though. I think my 30s are going to be great, and here's why:

1. I have someone I love dearly.
2. I have some interesting ideas about what I want to do with my artistic talent.
3. I am not afraid to work in corporate hell while I get to where I want to be.
4. I have learned that the simplest things are the best - having a picnic in a park with the one you love is more wonderful than the fanciest and most expensive five star restaurants. Sharing simple things like a book or a walk with someone is equally as wonderful.
5. I am getting more comfortable with myself by the month/week.
6. The 20s have been a time for me to develop my identity and self-awareness, and the 30s will be the time where I get to enjoy what makes me, me.

My doc says that people grow the most between 20 and 30, and it has been great for me so far. Of course I have had low points, but I have taken some chances and learned how to live. And the 30s will be great!

[winneythepooh7]

[QUOTE=redav]Nobody likes to admit this, but it really is about knowing the right people who will let you get a foot in the door. A degree usually helps (a lot) when getting your first job, but from that point on, it's all about what you've accomplished. So, once you land a job (even if it isn't a good one), you have to grab it by the horns and really show them what you're worth.

QUOTE]

Sure, but not everyone has that option either. Especially if they don't know a lot of people to network with, or have a job that sucks.

[vxmike]

I was always told working hard is the key, but it's not.

Agreed 100%. Until you reach the level of extremely high paid professionals like physicians/lawyers there is almost a direct inverse correlation between the amount of work one does and the compensation received. The folks working the hardest (cashiers, laborers, fruit pickers, etc) make the least. All the jobs and industries I've worked in have proven that less work usually means more pay. Jobs I've had paying $40/hr involved much less work than when I made $6/hr doing admin work. Now I'm somewhere in the middle of that and do a more average amount of work.

Hard work isn't rewarded in America anymore. The key is working SMART or just finding an easy job that pays better.

[blue27]

Agreed 100%. Until you reach the level of extremely high paid professionals like physicians/lawyers there is almost a direct inverse correlation between the amount of work one does and the compensation received. The folks working the hardest (cashiers, laborers, fruit pickers, etc) make the least. All the jobs and industries I've worked in have proven that less work usually means more pay. Jobs I've had paying $40/hr involved much less work than when I made $6/hr doing admin work. Now I'm somewhere in the middle of that and do a more average amount of work.

Hard work isn't rewarded in America anymore. The key is working SMART or just finding an easy job that pays better.

ita
I went through the same thing.. when i was in school i worked two crappy jobs back to back, didn't get bad anything but I worked my ass off.. then I got my first called reall job.. sat on ass all day bored and paid twice as much..I felt like my degree was a waste for some time, but many jobs even admin a ba is a requirement so in a way t helps, but alot of people i know who didn't go to school make alot more money then me..

[winneythepooh7]

My fiance dropped out of college. At times, he makes more than I do, but he also works very strenuous labor, is aching all the time from it, doesn't get a lot of rest, time off on weekends or even healthcare benefits (it's like $600.00 a month for a single person on Long Island and that is a barebones policy where a lot of stuff is STILL paid out of pocket). One of his biggest regrets now is not finishing his degree. I think he is successful and doing what he enjoys, but I guess what my point is, is that once you have that piece of paper, no one can take that away from you. Never regret going on to get an education.

[capella]

Slight threadjack, but this is bugging me... probably shouldn't but...

How come when I said, um, pretty much the exact same thing as Fashion here I got chewed out for being a "snob"? Perhaps because I called out particular jobs of neighbors I see instead of saying generic people with only a GED? Perhaps because I was a teacher and that is supposedly such a cushy job? Wonderful double standard there. :rolleyes:

Fashionista, I agree. It's very irritating to have spent so much (time, money, effort) working to better yourself with education only to see that it doesn't really do you much good.... immediately. And then to watch other people who didn't put in that time doing as well or better than you.

But it does get better. VERY slowly. And it is about who you know. I disagree that working hard doesn't pay off, but you do have to know where to direct that hard work and when not to. You also need connections. I just got my current job, which pays MUCH better and has a lot less work/stress, pretty much by luck.

But it was after a painful mistake (teaching elementary school) and the events of the subsequent cleanup (going back to middle at mid-year, but being excessed due to contractual issues) that I got this job. It was also timing and a seemingly unconnected series of events.

My current job had been filled for the past 7 years (that's how long the girl before me was there). It just came open about the time I started looking for a new job in earnest. My new boss's daughter went to my school (that caught her eye on my resume... over the hundreds of resumes she got for the job). That wouldn't have been on my resume if I hadn't decided to teach elementary and then had to leave (for my sanity) to go to my husband's school. It's all connected in weird ways. It was part luck, part skills and experience, and part connections that got me this new job.

Just keep your eye out for ANYTHING that could potentially pay off. You REALLY never know what it could be. The key is to keep striving for something better. Don't be satisfied and don't get complacent. Don't be afraid to make a change (and yeah, moving might be one of those... I've been there and it is not easy to rip up and move, but it can be very helpful). Don't get so frustrated you give up. If there is a wall in front of you, stop banging your head on it. Try to find the way around it.

[PenforPrez]

Nobody likes to admit this, but it really is about knowing the right people who will let you get a foot in the door. A degree usually helps (a lot) when getting your first job, but from that point on, it's all about what you've accomplished. So, once you land a job (even if it isn't a good one), you have to grab it by the horns and really show them what you're worth.

Now that I've been at both ends of that, I can say it's very true. I only got this job I just got because a higher-up I knew was pushing for me. I figured that had to play out at some point. I'd like to think I got the job on my merits; then again, if I didn't have any merit, I wouldn't have had a chance.

When I was in school, the profs told us that co-oping was critical and that we should all take the time (basically it adds a year or more to the program) to do it. I didn't believe them at the time, but now I know that every word of it was true.

What about programs like mine that didn't offer internships? Then again, my program wasn't designed for people to go directly into the workforce with BA's either.

Paul

[winneythepooh7]

Also regarding internships, some employers don't always consider them to be real working experience. That's how it is in my field. In fact, the state program I currently work for has a mandate that even if you have your MSW degree, they won't hire you unless you have at least 2 years of case management experience working in the field. I think that candidates need to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis because I've known plenty of employees who have the 2 years working experience but no MSW that totally suck and plenty of people with just the MSW but no working experience who would probably be much better candidates for the job.

[dengeist]

Fashionista, I think you hit on one of the main ideas behind QLC. There really isn't an answer to it or a quick cure. Once you get out in the world you see first hand all of the nepotism, people that are less intelligent, people that don't do much of anything, etc....making more money than you, seemingly having a better life than you.

I'm not simplifying what you're going through at all, and I don't want you to feel that way. It's all about finding your "stride" in life. It comes to different people at different times. Mine came when I was about 25-26 and I wish I found this forum before then, because for a while I was like "WHAT THE HELL HAPPEND!?!" I was a wreck, emotionally, romantically and financially. I had to find out things the hard way and I was in uncharted territory as far as my family was concerned.

But once I found it, I stopped worrying about what other people made or had and started focusing on the things that made me feel good. And it wasn't my job, it wasn't my title, it wasn't my salary, hell it wasn't even a girlfriend. All that stuff came after I stopped dwelling on them. It was the little things, most of the time. Do I still want better for me? HELL'S YES! But those things don't drive me like they once did. And I suspect, if I did, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. My late 20's have been much better than my early 20's by a long shot and they keep getting better.

[jwsthe3rd]

Then everyone who never went for their BA looks at me like "well YOU must be the f**k up because you have an education and can't make it, what's wrong with you?"


I get this ALL the time at my job too. When I tell co-workers I have a degree they look at me like I am a fool and say, "Why are you working here? You could do so much better. If I were you I'd do this and that. I can't believe you chose to work at this job.". It really pisses me off and makes me feel like a moron for accepting the position I have taken. These people have no clue about how tough the job market is. I guess everyone is going to try and tell you what to do though, that's just the way people are.

[Fashionista]

dengeist-i see what you are saying but is is hard to not stress out and look at what other people have. i try to avoid situations where things will make me feel bad about my plot in life but somethings are in my face all day everyday pretty much.

As for stride--I am still looking for that but it seems to never come

For all the comments about internships etc-I did look for those the 1st 2 years of school and could never land one. My school would post ones that were very far, highly competitive and wasn't even giving you a stipend to cover travel cost. For a student who had zero parental support, taking these jobs was no an option and getting local internships proved to be nearly impossible. Then on the other side of that I know people who could and did take the internships I couldn't and they didn't fair all that better off in the job market. Again it was the people who knew someone personally, or their family knew someone that got job opportunities that most of us would kill for. They had zero experience, no related education but someone gave them a chance because they knew them.

Winnie-most of the jobs listed in White Plains or Westchester I am not qualified for and for those that I was qualified for I did apply and never heard back. Like I said I am looking outside my area but if no one will give me a chance what can I do?

capella-I do think my current job could be the job that will help me finally break free of the entry level hell but to actually know for sure another 1- 1 1/2 years would need to be spent to see for sure. I am working hard and trying to do what I can to move up but if this doesn't pan out I think I will be at my wits end. Between the low pay, having to work an extra job and all the hard work associated with my position I can see myself really flipping out and loosing it if I can't get something better. A person can only take so much before finally breaking. I don't try to bang my head on walls but at the same time if everywhere you turn is a wall, how can you get around it?

[winneythepooh7]

What are others around you doing job-wise who are your age?

[capella]

capella-I do think my current job could be the job that will help me finally break free of the entry level hell but to actually know for sure another 1- 1 1/2 years would need to be spent to see for sure. I am working hard and trying to do what I can to move up but if this doesn't pan out I think I will be at my wits end. Between the low pay, having to work an extra job and all the hard work associated with my position I can see myself really flipping out and loosing it if I can't get something better. A person can only take so much before finally breaking. I don't try to bang my head on walls but at the same time if everywhere you turn is a wall, how can you get around it?
Climb over it? :) I felt much the same way when I first got out of school. Are you in upstate in an area like Binghamton or something? I can see how there'd be no way out in a place like that. Can you move at all? What is your degree in? What are you looking to do? Would revamping your resume help (list out the skills you have and make those bold, not necessarily the job titles)? How are you with cover letters? Those seem to be the make it or break it of getting an interview (at least that's always been my case). Sorry to bombard you with questions. I truly do understand that feeling of I'm going to lose my mind. It is not pleasant to feel trapped in any situation. But keep looking and keep trying. Can you go to any of those places in person to see if you get a better shot? How about cold calling some of the higher ups?

[Fashionista]

What are others around you doing job-wise who are your age?

lots of people who have degrees can't catch a break in their related fields or a field they want to get into, this includes people with MAs. Most people I know have either married and don't stress about money, have had the fortune of either landed a good job with opportunity without going to college or immediately after graduating(either by family connections or good luck) there are tons of teachers, nurses, nurses aids and social workers. One friend who I uphold as the example of having horrific luck is older than me (30) and still works in direct care despite trying to relocate finding jobs, knowing tons of people and having 2 BAs (he was a double major). He has since started his own business but even that is a struggle because of the type of business he has started.

My other friend in NYC actually had some problems her last 2 years of school hand got out of there with a 2.5gpa but that is too low for her to get into grad school so she has been struggling to find work in NYC.

[Fashionista]

Climb over it? :) I felt much the same way when I first got out of school. Are you in upstate in an area like Binghamton or something? I can see how there'd be no way out in a place like that. Can you move at all?
No I am not that far upstate and no I can't move, It's just not economically sound to relocate without some type of job offer or someone that will allow me to stay with them until I get on my feet.

What is your degree in? What are you looking to do?
My degree was in history. I am looking for a job that has some type of stability and room for growth so I can go back for my MA and work at the same time since I cannot just quit working full time and live off of p/t work unless my parents are going to at least let me stay with them during breaks, which they didn't while I was in undergrad so why ask now? Most of the experience I have is secretarial although I have experience in doing fundraising (but not enough for a fundraising job) and mail solicitations. My current job does combine some of these elements but again who is to know if I can break through the glass ceiling right now. Its not like I can ask either, no one is going to entertain talking about my future when I just started working there. It will not be received well. The only thing I can do is watch, learn and plan accordingly. But like I said if it doesn't happen I will be super upset because time isn't something you can get back and I am just tried of working and having zero to show for it.


Would revamping your resume help (list out the skills you have and make those bold, not necessarily the job titles)? How are you with cover letters? Those seem to be the make it or break it of getting an interview (at least that's always been my case).
I redid my resume 100s of times and sought advice from friends and professionals and while all gave tips which I used no one can pinpoint where I am going wrong. It could be that most people don't want to take a chance on me because I am over-educated for some jobs but not experienced enough for others. It is very hit or miss

[SaltedSparks]

Hard work and achievement (even small ones) are supposed to make you feel good but I don't. I feel like a damned fool! Yes education is key, but not the key most of us need right now.



Funny thing because it plays out pretty much the same if you didn't go to college and instead went into the workforce right away. My buddy, who recently seperated from the Navy, works as a project supervisor electrician in an electrical firm in southern california is constantly getting told to get an education or make do with his underpaid wages.

When he was in high school he decided college wasn't right for him and that he wanted to just work and make living so he joined the Navy as an electrician to serve his country and also gain valuable experience and free training. He was able to get his journeyman's license and got a decent starting pay job right away but now that he's a supervisor taking on extra responsibilities he still cannot get paid more because the firm has a paychart that increases according to education level. On top of that his career is pretty much stuck until he gets a bachelor's degree. Now he is constantly getting told "education is the key."

So your situation is not that bad because for adults to return to education is a lot harder than a college graduate that only needs to gain experience.