Maid of honor

[shadeofgreen]

A friend of mine is getting married and asked me to be maid of honor. And of course I said yes. Now, the wedding is in September and I haven't done a damn thing. To be fair, she hasn't talked to me about planning. I ask her about it once in a while and "everything's going fine." She's about as far from the Bridezilla type that a person can be, so I'm not worried about her freaking out about things, but I've never been in a wedding before, so I'm not exactly sure what my responsibilities are.

Traditionally I'm supposed to plan the bachelorette party. And that's fine. She's not a big partier, though she's game for a drink or two sometimes. She's pretty involved in her church, though, so that's where the majority of her other friends are coming from. I don't know how to plan a bachelorette party in the first place, much less one for a bunch of Christian girls, at least one of whom is underage.

And what else am I supposed to do? Bridal shower? Is that me? Honestly, this girl won't be upset no matter what I do or don't do, as long as I show up on her wedding day in a dress (looking like a beluga...she picked silver) but that doesn't mean I should ignore all those things that I'm supposed to do, whatever they are.

I must have been skipping class the day they taught "How to be a bridesmaid" at Girl School.

[pisces2473]

Talk to her mom re: shower.

Ask her what she'd like re: bach party. You don't have to get crazy, you can have a nice dinner out somewhere, go to a comedy show, paint pottery, etc.

Good luck!

[embrassezla]

I was thinking a spa day for the bachelorette party might be a fun, safe idea.

[Krishna]

Ask her what she'd like re: bach party. You don't have to get crazy, you can have a nice dinner out somewhere, go to a comedy show, paint pottery, etc.

I HATE crazy bachelor/bachelorette parties. I dont think it needs to be a night of booze, strippers, lap dances and raunchy inflatable dolls.

Last one I went to: dinner and cocktails at maid of honor's house, a couple games, and a trip to a piano bar. Her soon to be husband's bachelor party was golfing, a pro baseball game, and then drinks at a local bar.

[pisces2473]

Yeah, I've already instructed my MOH that I don't want to get crazy/be tacky. I want something chill.

[shadeofgreen]

I was thinking a spa day for the bachelorette party might be a fun, safe idea.
I like that idea. I think everyone would enjoy it. How does that sort of thing work money-wise? Everyone pays their own way? I ask for contributions from the others (besides the bride) and hope for the best?

[pisces2473]

I like that idea. I think everyone would enjoy it. How does that sort of thing work money-wise? Everyone pays their own way? I ask for contributions from the others (besides the bride) and hope for the best?
Usually everyone would pay their own way and chip in for the bride's share.

[Krishna]

Yeah, I've already instructed my MOH that I don't want to get crazy/be tacky. I want something chill.

I'll do the same for mine some day. And I'll definately have a conversation with my SO about his party when the time comes too. None of this "oooh, let's celebrate our love & committment to each other by having one last wild free-for-all with naked lap dances" shit.:rolleyes:

[TinyDancer]

I'm in the same situation, shadeofgreen.

My sister just got married, and I did a lot for her. . . she also had high expectations for everything and big plans for the bach party. . . also, I'm family so I had a bigger planning role.

Now I'm MOH for another friend's upcoming wedding, and I've done nothing. The thing is. . . she's like your friend and is low maintenance as all get out. She lives far away from me. The wedding is far away for both of us, and we both have demanding jobs. She can only make it to one shower, and I can't go. . . and she doesn't have a free weekend for a bach party. I've done nothing to help, but quite frankly, she never wanted or expected it. Her mom is doing most everything. I'm going to call her mom and see if there is anything I can do. . . and will try and think of something special I can do the day of the wedding for her. I made a "Wedding Day Mix" of wedding-related songs and some of my sister's favorite songs for her big day. . . I plan to do this for my friend as well. It was really fun getting ready listening to that. I also want to come visit her after the wedding when things have calmed down.

I would talk to the mom as well. . . and also, keep in mind that some people just have different opinons and expectations about this wedding stuff. You should try and do what the bride will find thoughtful and meaningful. This doesn't always mean throwing a huge drunken bach party or having a big party.

[SmilesSoSweet]

I'm the MOH for a friend's wedding next month. She asked me to be in her wedding last May (2006).

I threw her a bachelorette party a few weekends ago. It was one of those parties where we went to a show, drank a whole lot, and danced afterwards.

I asked her what kind of bachelorette party she wanted to have. I also asked her what kind of bridal shower she wants as well. We're having her wedding shower just a couple of days before the wedding. It's actually a jack-n-jill shower where there will be guys there too. She didn't want to do the all female shower type thing.

I still have to work on the speech, which I think is probably my most important task of being the MOH. Of course I'll also be attending to her on her wedding day - helping her get ready and making sure her dress, hair and make up is all good to go for pictures and stuff.

It is definitely a lot to do (depending on how the bride-to-be is). Good thing my friend isn't a bridezilla and it pretty laid back on her planning.

Her mom isn't even helping her at all with the wedding planning. Her parents aren't even offering ANY money to pay for this wedding, yet are insisting that their family members be invited (but that's another story). So the planning is all on her and we talked about that when she first asked me to be her MOH.

I don't know if I'd be a MOH for anyone else again though. I don't know if I want to be in anyone else's wedding for anything other than attending as a guest. It's just too much work!

[beeblebrox]

I'm going to a bachelorette party this weekend as a guest, not as anyone really special other than a guest. It's going to cost me a small fortune with the gifts (already bought), the drinks, appetizers, meal, and more drinks. Like I said, I'm only a guest for this. Also, for the wedding, I'm knitting them something which will be ready into two weeks and then blocking it. I forgot how expensive weddings can be.

For my dream bachelorette party, I wouldn't mind going to local yarn store and having a knitting party or go to a pottery place, something low key and inexpensive.

[vinsanity]

my sister-in-law's MOH threw her a bridal shower as well as a bachelorette party. the bach. party was kinda chill, I heard. they just went out for dinner and hung out at the bride's house (I forget what exactly they did there)

for the bridal shower, they had silly little games like making a wedding dress out of toilet paper, and whatnot. and the attendants of the shower were instructed to bring small gifts beginning with a certain letter, and all the letters spelled 'CONGRATULATIONS'

not sure where the MOH got her ideas from, but I think I saw books and stuff covering the subject

[wordsmith]

For one of my SILs, we did a spa afternoone with manicures ane pedicures, then dinner out at a gourmet pizza place, then on to a martini bar. Martinis and pedicures aren't regular occurrences for me, but it was fun and different.

My other SIL booked a private room at a winery, and we had an hors d'oeuvres spread, got to sample about a dozen wines, shopped in the shop, and opened presents. Then we went to a nice sit-down dinner.