What would you do?

[Lizanne440]

I've been having issues with flaky friends for awhile now, and I've kept my feelings inside for so long I feel like I'm about to explode. I grew up with my next door neighbor (since we were 4 and 2), and I consider her my little sister. Now, I am 25, she is 23, but ever since high school she has always been in relationships and not really "there" for me. She usually falls off the face of the Earth when she's in a relationship, which I know is not unusual. She will hang out with me 24/7 when she's single (like a month, at most). But, I feel pulled in different directions because if this were anyone else, I would have severed ties by now. I've given her so many chances because of the fact that she islike family to me, but other friends tell me I need to speak up. I have another friend of 7 years that is so desperate for male attention, I will not hear from her until the guy breaks up with her or there is a problem in the relationship. I am so angry/pissed off/ and upset with these people that I really want to tell them how I really feel, but in the moment, it feels so awkward. And they always play if off like "Really? You tried to call me? I didn't get any missed calls from you" bullshit. I know that I do, in fact, need to tell them how I feel, but it's just so damn awkward. A guy friend asked me "Would you rather do the passive thing and ignore their calls from now on or confront the real issue?". I really want to. My guy friends seem to handle friendships very differently than females, though. There usually is a short verbal confrontation and then they don't hang out anymore. With girls, it's drama, gossip, the blank look on the face as if they done nothing wrong, etc. :evil:

[winneythepooh7]

Speak up. Tell them exactly why you are pissed off at them. Then stop hanging out with them. Let them know when they are ready to be a "friend", you will be there for them. Sometimes this stuff actually sticks. Keep in mind that often childhood friends DO grow apart, and that is normal as well. You shouldn't have to be the only one giving in a relationship, and don't beat yourself up over the fact that your "friends" are being immature. It sounds like they have a great deal of growing up to do.

[HollyM]

Though it might be scary to do, speak up for yourself and don't let yourself get walked over and stay in the role of nothing better to do friend. One of two things will happen, either your friend will respect you more which will improve your friendship or she might pretend it's you with the problem and be annoyed that things can't continue in the way she's become all too used to. Friendship's a two way street and if somebody gets upset because they don't get their own way all the time you need to question if she's a real friend to you now. Good luck.