I'm such a loser

[Wesley0905]

When I entered the work force 7 years ago I had a lot of ambition and passion for working my way up the ladder. Then something horrible happened, I experienced success at an early age and severely depressed me.

Let me step back for a second.

Growing up I was an average student, probably because I started working at the young age of 14 (officially) I mean I started cutting lawns in my neighborhood around the age of 10. When I graduated high school I had a couple college offers but because my family didn't save any money for me to attend school I was limited on what I could do. I don't blame them, my father was a hard worker but everyone in his family had their hands out and unfortunately some things were sacrificed. At 18 a friend of mine had a nice entry level corporate job and was able to get me an interview, looking back at it now I totally didn't deserve the position, I was inexperienced and unprofessional, but they saw potential and extended me an offer. I worked for that company for 3 years and saw moderate success. By the time I was 21 I led a team of 11 all of which were 7-15 years older then me. By 22 I was recruited as a senior manager for an executive leasing office. I worked there for 3 years and initially loved it; I had such a great relationship with the Director and VP of Sales, professional and personal. Then the VP was fired because the Global VP and him got into it over marketing, and the new VP fired the director and replaced him with one of his lackeys.

At that moment everything changed, I went from loving my job to dreading coming in everyday. He fired the entire management team with the exception of me and one other. The guy (VP) was a racist, sexist, and was so arrogant he made Trump look like the Dali Lama. Every morning I just sat in my office thinking of how I would rather be backpacking in India or something, I just couldn't focus!

Well the straw that broke the Camel's back is when he called one of our hardest working agents "ghetto" in a closed door meeting. I just couldn't work for the man and like all young impulsive professionals; I made a hasty decision and resigned.

I really struggled for a year trying to find a decent job but because the economy was so crappy all I could find was low paying entry level assignments. Finally after a year I decided to start over and find a good company to work for and just grind my up the ladder again.

So here I am, back at square one, but the problem is what if that situation happens to me again? I can't control who my boss will be, not completely anyway. The more I think of it the more I realize how I should go back to school and get a proper education, something in a field where I could be my own boss. I was always good in science and math so I am contemplating medicine. I went and attended a few work shops the local colleges have about being a doctor and have gotten good feedback from them.

The only problem is this, if I choose a career of medicine that will put me in school for the next 8 years and a short residency (2-3 years). I really want to find a good woman and start a family, but if I’m serious about medicine will I have to wait 11 years before I can start my family? I don't want to force my wife into poverty or not being able to afford the things she deserves. I mean, I want to be a good husband and a good father, so does that mean I should wait until I can provide for my family fully before starting one?

As you can see I'm totally having a quarter life crises and could definitely use some feedback.

Thanks,
Wesley

[wordsmith]

I hear you. Unfortunately, the way of the professional world is traditionally that you are at the mercy of the way the wind blows, in terms of changes in personnel higher up than you are. I also have felt the impact of corporate personnel changes, and my corporate office isn't even on site...still, the rippling effect on all of us from going from a good regional manager to one who is incompetent, unprofessional, and makes very poor decisions is extreme.

One way around that particular set of curve balls is to be self-employed, yes, but that of course comes with its own breed of curve balls and challenges.

[KCboy]

what if that situation happens to me again? I can't control who my boss will be, not completely anyway.

The only constant in life is change.

You can't let the fear of what might happen keep you down, because it's just one possiblity.

I don't think this society is setup for one person to work for one company the majority of their lives anymore. Switching jobs and companies has become a part of life.

[spiritedaway]

And how would you know you won't meet "the one" when you're in the medicine field? :)

Just make sure the medicine field is what you really wanted to do. It's surely a rewarding field, but it's also a lot of hard work.

If you have the opportunity and you know that's what you want to do... today is as good a day to go for it as any other day.

Good luck.

[Adam Strange]

…looking back at it now I totally didn't deserve the position, I was inexperienced and unprofessional, but they saw potential and extended me an offer. I worked for that company for 3 years and saw moderate success. By the time I was 21 I led a team of 11 all of which were 7-15 years older then me. By 22 I was recruited as a senior manager for an executive leasing office.

If they saw potential in you and you realized it, you totally deserved it.

…Well the straw that broke the Camel's back is when he called one of our hardest working agents "ghetto" in a closed door meeting. I just couldn't work for the man and like all young impulsive professionals; I made a hasty decision and resigned.

It doesn’t sound like a hasty decision. It sounds like you were dealing with a lot of crap, turned it over in your mind again and again and then were forced into a position where you had to take a stance. That’s your old boss’s fault, not yours. He’s lucky you didn’t report him to the president of the company, the media or a state or federal agency.

The only problem is this, if I choose a career of medicine that will put me in school for the next 8 years and a short residency (2-3 years). I really want to find a good woman and start a family, but if I’m serious about medicine will I have to wait 11 years before I can start my family? I don't want to force my wife into poverty or not being able to afford the things she deserves. I mean, I want to be a good husband and a good father, so does that mean I should wait until I can provide for my family fully before starting one?

Obviously, I can’t answer this for you. But a lower-income family or one where both parents work does not mean unhappiness for a child. Also, because of many of the reasons you described, people are having kids later in life so maybe it is something you can put off.

I think you are getting a little ahead of yourself. Wait until you’ve found someone you’d like to marry and start a family with before fretting over how and when you can afford it. And many women earn good wages and do not have to be taken into poverty if they date or marry someone who’s still in school.

[zz4guy]

A doctor?? Why? There are plenty of other careers out there that can support a family and dont require 12 years of school.

It sounds like your lack of formal education is holding you back. Find something you like, get a two year trade degree or something and get involved in the industry. In 5 years you will probably be into the management end of things.