Career Decisions...

[Phenomenon]

Does anyone else find it sad that our career decisions are based so much on what field we can actually obtain a job in and make enough money to survive rather than being able to make a decision based on what we truly love and care about?

[pisces2473]

Yes, I find it very sad. This is something I battle with almost daily.

[Phenomenon]

Thanks. Glad I'm not in the battle alone.

[dacrunkest]

Are there people out there who can and do find their dream jobs? It seems there are some people so happy with their job. My stepmother's sister, for instance, wanted to work in the film industry and so she got a job with Paramount and now's she is a Vp of Sales for them. Others seem to find exactly what they are looking for as well. Yet I can't seem to come close.

So I have to ask myself, is this what they were chasing all along, or have they conditioned themselves to liking what they can get/have?

[winneythepooh7]

I think that a lot of us get caught up in the whole "finding our dream job" ideology. Why I am certainly a huge advocate that we need to at least like and take pride in the field we choose to work in, at the end of the day, work is still just that though. Work. There are certainly fields however certain people should not go into if they don't like it.

[Adam Strange]

Does anyone else find it sad that our career decisions are based so much on what field we can actually obtain a job in and make enough money to survive rather than being able to make a decision based on what we truly love and care about?

So I have to ask myself, is this what they were chasing all along, or have they conditioned themselves to liking what they can get/have?

It does bum me out. I see people excited about jobs that would never end the sentence “When I grow up, I want to be…” and I don’t know how they do it, how they keep excited about it. (I hope) I’m not being judgmental about it; I just don’t understand how someone can be excited about speech therapy or ad sales or accounts receivable.

I know one woman whose dream is to have a beach house, the same way mine is to write a feature or two story that get a wild emotional reader response. I guess when that’s what you “truly love and care about,” you’ll conform to fit the market.

The one person I know from college who has her dream job is a nurse. It did end the sentence “When I grow up, I want to be…” Lucky for her—and for her patients—she had a pretty clear path for that.

[winneythepooh7]

Actually, I wish I knew more about speech therapy when I was in undergrad. Actually, the school I went to had a very competitive program. I see many of the people I work with who work with speech therapists and they benefit so much. Plus the pay is amazing! I guess it's never too late though. One of the SLP's I work with got her MSW (like me!) at Columbia (except I went to a different school!), and then went on to get her doctorate I believe in Speech. Or maybe it was the other way around........but still, she's an amazing woman. I get really excited about what I do for a living when I see positive results of helping people. I get really discouraged though with the amount of bureacracy that exists in my field.

[Adam Strange]

My half-sister is a speech therapist. She’s always been kind of blah about it and I’ve never been able to wheedle out what went into the decision.

[winneythepooh7]

Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either when people go into say, social work, and they can't stand the clients they are trying to help. I can't speak much for speech, but like teaching probably, I know a lot of people do get out of my field because of the bureacracy, not really the clients themselves. Also, just wanted to add, that while I cannot imagine speech being a really easy major to get through, there may be people who do go into it because they do think they will make a lot of $$$ in it, which like any other field/major where money is the only motivating factor, they are going to hate their job eventually.

[redav]

Thinking about 'dream-jobs,' I think most people's would include less work + more rewards than realistically possible. (Who wouldn't want to get paid for lounging around?) But the reality is that you get paid because you do something that creates value, and we get compensated according to supply & demand.

I think there are lots of careers that people would enjoy doing, but that screws up the supply-demand side. (The more enjoyable it is, the more people want to do it, & the more who are willing to be compensated for less to do it.)

Those careers that require skill/abilities/responsibilities will eliminate many people who are unwilling/unable to develop them. So, unless you put in all the extra work, you won't qualify for them. (But extra work is one of those things most people don't like.)

The holy grail would be to enjoy doing something that has great value that few others have the ability to do. Then you can get your dream job. For some this formula works, but I don't think it does for most (b/c of that whole supply-demand thing, your 'likes' have to be dissimilar from most other's ).

But in the end, I think it comes down to two things:
1. Learning to enjoy what you do rather than doing what you enjoy, and
2. Learning to be satisfied with what you make. Few people actually make enough to keep up with the Joneses.

[wordsmith]

Thinking about 'dream-jobs,' I think most people's would include less work + more rewards than realistically possible. (Who wouldn't want to get paid for lounging around?)

I would argue that in addition to people who want to get paid for doing nothing/very little, there are also people who get off on receiving recognition, so dream jobs for them are things that garner them high profile attention. I would say that probably nearly as many people aspire to jobs that they feel elevate them to some level of perceived importance as wish they had a job where they could get well-compensated to do nothing.

[Phenomenon]

I think the people who ended up doing what they always dreamed of, just did what they loved, focused on it, and didn't consider status or salary. I guess you have to have enough conviction in what you believe and determination and be focused enough to not even notice what all the rat racers around you are doing.

I think it's really sad that so many of people our age "rat racers". Don't know if it's inherent or how people become because of how the world is. Probably a combination. I think these people may have missed the point of my question. But we're coming from different places.

[zz4guy]

I think it has a lot to do with the mindset our highschools and some parents put in our heads. Ie you have to go get accepted to a 4 year college, get a bachelors and find a stable office job.

Never mind the fact that it will suck and you dont want to do it! It pays good and that is the important part!

IMO 4 year college is for SOME, but definitely not all. High schools nowadays try to push the idea that if you dont get yourself a 4 year degree you are a nothing and will hate the rest of your life. I resent that arrogant attitude. Being happy with your career is very important... NOT just saying that you have a "good" job.

[wordsmith]

I have a hard time thinking of an office job as a "good job," for me personally. Just doesn't suit me at all. My current job is a little too "desky" for my liking, and it's pretty unconventional.

[NewMrs.]

It does bum me out. I see people excited about jobs that would never end the sentence “When I grow up, I want to be…” and I don’t know how they do it, how they keep excited about it. (I hope) I’m not being judgmental about it; I just don’t understand how someone can be excited about speech therapy or ad sales or accounts receivable.



This happens because people grow up and realize that one of the signs of maturity is accepting that life has certain compromises. They choose jobs that they would have never chosen as kids so that they can pay for new back-to-school clothes and health insurance for their own kids. Our parents did the same thing for us when we were kids trying to decide what we wanted to be.

If everybody just did what they wanted to do or thought would be "fun," how easy do you think it would be to get a plumber to come to your house when your lines back up? How easy would it be to order something on Amazon, and get somebody to pack up your box, and have the UPS guy deliver it to your house? How easy would it be to get somebody from the electric company to restore your power after a big storm?

People get enthusiatic about jobs that don't sound like "fun" to you because it keeps them moving.

I too struggle with the fact that I have to do things that I don't enjoy in order to pay my bills. However, so do all of my neighbors.

[winneythepooh7]

This happens because people grow up and realize that one of the signs of maturity is accepting that life has certain compromises. They choose jobs that they would have never chosen as kids so that they can pay for new back-to-school clothes and health insurance for their own kids. Our parents did the same thing for us when we were kids trying to decide what we wanted to be.

If everybody just did what they wanted to do or thought would be "fun," how easy do you think it would be to get a plumber to come to your house when your lines back up? How easy would it be to order something on Amazon, and get somebody to pack up your box, and have the UPS guy deliver it to your house? How easy would it be to get somebody from the electric company to restore your power after a big storm?

People get enthusiatic about jobs that don't sound like "fun" to you because it keeps them moving.

I too struggle with the fact that I have to do things that I don't enjoy in order to pay my bills. However, so do all of my neighbors.

That does make a lot of sense too. There are lots of things that I do not like about my job right now either. However, unfortunately, I can't just up and quit or even look for a new job at this point in my field. I finally just got health and dental insurance back so that is very important to me. When I get married in less than 2 months, and my husband being able to go on my health insurance, after going years without any and he does have health concerns, is another major reason I stay. Not only that, but my job does pay on the higher end of the payscale for what I do, and I have a lot of bills I need to pay off right now, along with living in an area with high COL that we can't leave at this point either, so for now, this is going to be it.

I think right now I am going to focus on the positives at work, and the fact that I actually do have a pretty good job and can afford to pay my bills and just live in general. Not many people even have that!

[PenforPrez]

What if you just never had a dream? The only thing I really dreamed of being growing up was President of the United States. I never seriously pursued it; that's a hard job to get, after all. I did take a political science minor in college, but that was as far as I went. Now that I'm finally playing a role in a political campaign, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever wanted it. Politics truly is a rough business.

How does it work when you don't have a burning ambition and you don't want much from life?

Paul

[Musicvixen24]

If everybody just did what they wanted to do or thought would be "fun," how easy do you think it would be to get a plumber to come to your house when your lines back up? How easy would it be to order something on Amazon, and get somebody to pack up your box, and have the UPS guy deliver it to your house? How easy would it be to get somebody from the electric company to restore your power after a big storm?

People get enthusiatic about jobs that don't sound like "fun" to you because it keeps them moving.


i see your point, but some people want to do this jobs...it may not be the majority but it happens..i don't think that we should spend our time just getting by and paying the bills...if you don't hate your job than that is different, but if you are miserable, like i was at my old job, I bounce...i'd rather eat toast and ramen for a month than be miserable....i think that you alway need to be going towards something, while of course living your life..but we shouldn't im to be people that work at a job for 37yrs that hey hate just cuz your life sitution...shit always happens. nd there is nothing wrng with working for UPS if you aren't miserable or if you are using it to get you to the next step

[Musicvixen24]

What if you just never had a dream? The only thing I really dreamed of being growing up was President of the United States. I never seriously pursued it; that's a hard job to get, after all. I did take a political science minor in college, but that was as far as I went. Now that I'm finally playing a role in a political campaign, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever wanted it. Politics truly is a rough business.

How does it work when you don't have a burning ambition and you don't want much from life?

Paul

maybe your purpose is to have a family or play soccer...no one says that your buringin desire has to be your career..it could be your hobby..everyone likes to do something. you can find out what it is and incorporate it into your career..or you can find a job that you don't hate and enjoy your time off

just an idea

[wordsmith]

What if you just never had a dream? The only thing I really dreamed of being growing up was President of the United States. I never seriously pursued it; that's a hard job to get, after all. I did take a political science minor in college, but that was as far as I went. Now that I'm finally playing a role in a political campaign, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever wanted it. Politics truly is a rough business.

How does it work when you don't have a burning ambition and you don't want much from life?

Paul

I simply can't imagine never having any dreams, or anything that I love to do. I'm not trying to be contentious or a bitch, it's just that I read on these boards all the time that people don't have any real interests, dreams, or ambitions, and it's so foreign to me, I can't wrap my head around it. I don't understand how one doesn't have any interests?

[redav]

Even if you have dreamed of a job your whole life doesn't mean you will enjoy it if you get it. I can pretty much guarantee that Paul wouldn't enjoy being president. This happens to a lot of people--reality is not what they expected. Also, if it required a 'dream' to be happy with a job, then that takes away the possibility of serendipity. I also think there are people who never learn to enjoy doing anything.

Musicvixen24 has an excellent point--make what you enjoy doing part of what you have to do. Also, there are compromises. You are not going to get paid to do exactly what you want. So, that means finding the right balance of doing something you enjoy and doing what is valuable.

You won't be happy trying to control what is out of your control. You will have much more success affecting what you do control. How we feel/respond is one of those things. I do think that learning to enjoy doing things is important.

[winneythepooh7]

I also think many of us have the "grass is greener" complex, or, do not often appreciate what we do have with our employers, or, compare ourselves to what we think other's jobs are like. There are of course people out there who are never going to be happy with any kind of job, no matter what they do. I think people like these are generally unhappy with many aspects of their lives whether it be work, their SO, hobbies, etc. etc. etc.

[Phenomenon]

Paul, maybe you do want a lot out of life- maybe you just want to live your life and not be wrapped up in some career. Please don't feel bad for just wanting to live your life. It's not very easy as life is not set up to be really lived, but at least you have a different perspective than most people, the world needs more people like you, if it did maybe it would be less focused on all this career nonsense.
What you for a living does not define who you are, it's how you think that does. You are definately a thinker, not just a mindless do-er.
Don't measure yourself by those terms just because the majority of people measure themselves that way. You are unique and substantial. And it takes a lot of courage to be who you are rather than someone who has the comfort of falsely believing everything is fine because they wake up and go to the same job everday.

[yankeeyosh]

I think it has a lot to do with the mindset our highschools and some parents put in our heads. Ie you have to go get accepted to a 4 year college, get a bachelors and find a stable office job.

Never mind the fact that it will suck and you dont want to do it! It pays good and that is the important part!

IMO 4 year college is for SOME, but definitely not all. High schools nowadays try to push the idea that if you dont get yourself a 4 year degree you are a nothing and will hate the rest of your life. I resent that arrogant attitude. Being happy with your career is very important... NOT just saying that you have a "good" job.

And in the last ten years, in many circles, a master's is the minimum. L-rd knows how many people are out there getting master's degrees just because of peer and parental pressure.

But yeah, I agree with you...I think a lot of this is simply how many of us were raised. Our parents and teachers, more than in other generations, instilled large doses of self-esteem into us (Read Generation 'Me'). So many of us go into the workforce with a swagger, expecting it all really quickly. Some, granted, are fortunate, get a great job right out of school and rise to the top of their profession by the time they are old enough to rent a car or just after. But many others don't, and are severely disappointed that we don't have the "job of our dreams".

I think that an end to the "self-esteem movement" and a substantial reduction of tuition/more grants (so as to make college less of a means to an end but something to find fulfillment within) will alleviate this for future generations. For us, I think we have to step back and realize that there are other options. Maybe not go back to school full force, but to take a class here and there, pick up some skills that seem enjoyable, and try to see if you can use them as building blocks for something that you would be happy with. Or even just take up a hobby.

[Phenomenon]

What's unfortunate is that I have to get a master's so I can get a job where I can start to try to pay back all the loans from my B.A. I really don't care that much about a higher paying job, or feel I need a certain kind of job to feel good about myself, but I have been stuck in a job that does not even require a High School diploma and I am treated like a I'm stupid by my boss constatnly. I have been trying desperately to find something remotely better, but I am overqualified with my BA and underqualified without a Masters. It's all crazy to me because none of it reflects my qualifications-more importantly what kind of person I am. But this is what you are suppossed accept as what you have to do.
I go along with it, and my ideals and dream have been crushed, but it still pisses me off to the point where I can't enjoy much of anything. That just how I am.

[NewMrs.]

It does bum me out. I see people excited about jobs that would never end the sentence “When I grow up, I want to be…” and I don’t know how they do it, how they keep excited about it. (I hope) I’m not being judgmental about it; I just don’t understand how someone can be excited about speech therapy or ad sales or accounts receivable.



I wanted to add that the people with whom one works contribute a great deal to one's enthusiasm about a particular job. I have many days when I don't enjoy many tasks associated with my job. However, the people I work with are great people. They treat each other with respect, and that goes a long way towards improving my attitude at work.

I wouldn't base all of my career decisions entirely upon how much I like my co-workers. However, I know first hand that decent co-workers can make one more excited about a job than they might otherwise be.