Compartmentalized Relationships

[MoneyCntByLuv]

Has anyone else felt like this?
I feel like a lot of the relationships in my life are compartmentalized into separate, but neat piles, but there's no real connection between them.
Issue #1: Divorced parents, they don't get along and pretty much communicate through me.
Issue #2: My high-school group of friends, pretty tight-knit for the last 8 years. But now I wonder if it was all just convenience? 3 stopped speaking to the others, just cold turkey. When I go home I feel like I must spend equal amounts of time with each of them, and I kinda feel like "I'm cheating" when hanging out with one or the other. It's such a juggling act for me.
Issue #3: My friends and my boyfriend (who is now an ex) don't get along. But he's still a pretty close friend of mine. I hate mentioning doing things with one group to the other; I just hate the eye rolls and the sighs because I'm bringing up someone they once had a conflict with. I feel like I'm leading a double life!

Sometimes I wonder what major milestones in my life will be like with all these "waring" parties. Like my wedding one day: I don't want to be worried about other people and walk on eggshells all the time b/c half my bridal party hates each other. One case in point was my 25th birthday. Couldn't do a dinner b/c zero conversation would be no fun. So I threw myself a party (besides, that's a great age to celebrate!) And everyone came of course to support me, but it was so eery: just me floating around from person to person, group to group, due to conflicts. Not really being able to have fun with all of them. I finally just got really drunk at the party, mainly just to put myself at ease and to zone out of the tension.

And I'm starting to wonder, could all these waring parties (with the exception of my parents) and the fact that I'm in the middle, could all this be a reflection of me? What is wrong/different about me that I'm able to carry on
close relationships with people who so obviously can't stand each other?

[winneythepooh7]

Honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all. In fact, I think it's pretty common to have friends and people in our lives whoever we are, that are completely different, who may or may not get along with one another. Or who we may not hang out with all at the same time.

[fuzmiq]

I have several friends that completely hate or atleast mildly dislike the others. almost all of my close friends are this way. Weird and sucks.

[wordsmith]

My friends are drawn from so many different aspects of my life, there's no way they're all gonna hit it off like they hit it off with me.

[fuzmiq]

But words, don't you think that is funny though. How all those people can be attracted to you but not to each other. I mean doesn't it seem like a part of you has to be somewhat similar to the others to get along. It has happened to me, as I said. It is just funny.

[coll214]

I've got the same issue money.... there are certain parts of my life that will never blend together; ie dad's family is always seperate from moms (also divorced), HS friends i've tried to mingle w/ others and it just doesn't pan out, an exBF who i'm still friends w/ and my friends HATE, a new guy i've just started seeing who they won't meet for awhile, etc. it can be tiresome, but I think it's normal.

[wordsmith]

But words, don't you think that is funny though. How all those people can be attracted to you but not to each other. I mean doesn't it seem like a part of you has to be somewhat similar to the others to get along. It has happened to me, as I said. It is just funny.

Well, for the most part, I like them for different reasons, appreciate different attributes in them. I have friends that are very cerebral and highbrow who I can connect with on an intellectual plane, and I have friends who are pretty crass and tacky but who are hilarious and goodhearted and I value them as well as the more erudite of my friends, for instance. But I wouldn't expect them to necessarily get or enjoy one another (although in some cases, they do).

[yogaflame13]

Yeah, it's hard to mix friends cause you figure they all come from different phases of your life, and if you are a multi-dimensional kind of person with different interests, then you are going to meet a lot of different types of people. I still am good friends with people I met in middle school and high school, but at the same time I have made friends at my last job with people who are 5 or so years younger than me, and they are not like my older friends at all, but I get along with both groups really well. I really don't think they would match up together though, cause most of the older friends are conservative and married and living more "quiet and sedentary" lifestyles, whereas the younger people are more outgoing and still go out and do things like drinking, parties, pool, bowling, etc. It works for me cause it makes me not feel as old as I am haha, and we all enjoy each others company. I wish my older friends would do those things too, cause I miss them, but that's the way it goes I guess.