Long lost half-sister

[PenforPrez]

The Only Children thread got me to thinking more on this.

In the summer of 2002, my mother told me that I have a half-sister that my father sired many years ago. You have to understand the story; bear with me.

My father served in the Army in Germany at the very end of World War II. The war ended, and Dad was put in charge of the motor pool at a base in southeastern Bavaria. Like any good GI of the period, Dad had a steady German girlfriend from a small village right outside of the base. And they had a daughter, making her my half-sister.

That half-sister was born in 1946, which makes her a year older than my mother. Yes, I know. Dad came home in '48, and contact was maintained between my sister and a couple of my relatives until about 1963, which is the latest record we have of her. Dad threw away most of his pictures and most of his letters from her; I think he wanted to forget what he left behind.

So, I have a half-sister nobody in my family has heard from in 45 years and, in all likelihood, does not even know I exist. Ironically, when Mom told me this, we were in Louisiana at a family reunion on HER side.

To this day, Dad says nothing about it. I've asked a few basic questions, and he answered them, but I don't think he wants to delve any further. It's been five years since I found out, and I have no idea what to think, still. I very much want to make contact, but at the same time, I worry about opening up the proverbial jack-in-the-box.

I'm not sure even where to start. This has just been so confusing that I just keep setting it aside. What is the first step in finding a long-lost relative?

Paul

[Krishna]

If you know when she was born, and where (roughly) you can contact the locations and inquire about finding birth records from that timeframe. It would probably be helpful if your dad told you the mother's last name or the child's first name. You could also try looking at the last known location for this sister of yours. Check w/ any relatives who had contact with her.:)

[PenforPrez]

If you know when she was born, and where (roughly) you can contact the locations and inquire about finding birth records from that timeframe. It would probably be helpful if your dad told you the mother's last name or the child's first name. You could also try looking at the last known location for this sister of yours. Check w/ any relatives who had contact with her.:)

Well, I know her name and where she was born and where she lived up until she was about 17. Dad's got pictures and he knows the details of that.

Paul

[Krishna]

Well, I know her name and where she was born and where she lived up until she was about 17. Dad's got pictures and he knows the details of that.

Paul

You've got a good start then. If you can track her til she was 17, start in the city she was at around that time, and try to figure out if she stayed there or moved away. It'll probably be tough, but doable if you're motivated.

[PenforPrez]

You've got a good start then. If you can track her til she was 17, start in the city she was at around that time, and try to figure out if she stayed there or moved away. It'll probably be tough, but doable if you're motivated.

Too bad I don't know German. :p

[Dirty Sanchez]

Too bad I don't know German. :p

Everyone over the age of 5 in that country is fluent in English. You'll be fine.

[PenforPrez]

Everyone over the age of 5 in that country is fluent in English. You'll be fine.

Ja! :p

[spokes]

i think that you should examine the purpose of you wanting to connect with her?

also i think thatyou should consider wehter or not she would want to coneect with you - her life may have been very difficult growing up without a father, and being the child of an american soldier in a place and a time where that may have been a real burden......

i have no eperience in dealing with something like this so i am just throwin in my $0.02.

[PenforPrez]

i think that you should examine the purpose of you wanting to connect with her?

also i think thatyou should consider wehter or not she would want to coneect with you - her life may have been very difficult growing up without a father, and being the child of an american soldier in a place and a time where that may have been a real burden......

i have no eperience in dealing with something like this so i am just throwin in my $0.02.

I have considered that. I wonder about that quite a lot.

[Krishna]

Everyone over the age of 5 in that country is fluent in English. You'll be fine.

Not to mention that I speak some German and can give you the basics. ;)

[PenforPrez]

But where do you start with something like that? Call up the records office in Germany?

"Yes, I'd like to speak to your Department of Vital Statistics, yes. No, sir, I don't want sauerkraut, thank you. No, sir, I don't like David Hasselhoff, thank you, just connect me with the man in charge, please."

I know I joke about this, but this really is a serious thing to me. I have to have some levity to keep it in perspective and not stress out about it. I'm just not sure what to do or how to go about it. Then there is the question that spokes raised: Would it be wise or even prudent? Just because I want to establish contact doesn't mean my sister does.

I should ask that to my friend and ex-boss who pursues genealogy as a hobby. She's a Mormon, so she has access to all the Salt Lake City records.

Paul

[halfbaked07]

People do geneology searches all the time. My aunt followed our trail all the way to Bavaria. You just need the internet and finding a few good phone numbers. I imagine you would search for someone in another country the same as you would here.

Have you tried googling her? You never know...

[pisces2473]

You totally never know, she could be in the cube next to you at work.

[PenforPrez]

You totally never know, she could be in the cube next to you at work.

My very racist father would have a fit if that was true. :frustrate

[pisces2473]

My very racist father would have a fit if that was true. :frustrate
Ha! I knew your reply would be something along those lines!

[PenforPrez]

Ha! I knew your reply would be something along those lines!

It was the first thought I had, and I had none better. I'm fresh out of witty. :p