How well do you know your coworkers?

[spiritedaway]

I am curious, just because it seems that most people keep their personal life separate from their work life (which I guess is a good idea).

Since we spend such a big portion of our life AT work, how well do you really know your coworker as a person?

I am wondering because I was talking to a coworker (we sometimes sit in same meetings, but we don't work directly together and we don't really talk too much except to acknowledge each other in the hallway and make small talks), but today, in passing, we were talking about something when he said, "Well, I don't really know you too well". When I stopped to think about it, I thought, Hey, that's true, I don't really know him well (personally) either even though we've both been at the company for some time.

I wonder if this is common. I am definitely familiar with the coworkers in my own team, but that comment made me think that I really don't know some people as much as what is perceived of that person...:?:

[TinyDancer]

Even though I work for a big company, we are all super personal and share a lot. I've met most people's families, know most people's spouses' and kids' names, see baby pictures, know what's going on with them, where they live, and know their whole stories. I tend to share a lot of personal details, and people tend to share a lot with me. I don't think it's just me though. . . I think that's our culture. I've seen this every location I've worked.

I'm wondering if my experience is more out of the norm!

[wordsmith]

Quite well, because my particular workplace culture is that we're very open and conversational, and also quite small, which kind of engenders that sort of environment. There are some I'm closer to than others (I do yoga class with my designer, and we occasionally go shopping, and the two of us regularly go to lunch with another writer...that writer, I spend a decent amount of time with outside of work, know her and her SO well, and she hosts an Oscar viewing party each year. Others, we're not quite so chummy outside of work, but are pretty open at work.

I find for me, the size of the workplace really is key in this. With a small group, a more intimate feel occurs more easily, and also, it's a collaborative type of work. It might be diff if we all worked independently of one another. Also, lots of us are reporters (even ones who have since moved on to other roles), so it's in our nature to be inquisitive and interested in personal details. There have been peopel at my workplace who have been more private, less sharing, but they're less common. Most journalists (and most sales people, and we have both) are fairly gregarious.

[dacrunkest]

Not very well. The people on my immediate team I know better than others in my company. I try and steer clear of the people at work. I work in the Death Star and my boss is Darth Vader, so I just try to mind my business and not move up the ranks to quick because the head guy always gets choked in the end anyway.

[winneythepooh7]

I'm getting to know those on my immediate team because I've only been there a few months, the two new people even less than that. My new boss has shared a lot with me about her personal life and the other social worker is pretty cool. We've gone out to lunch together before because we both enjoy Japanese food. This is the first time in a long time I've really begun to feel comfortable around co-workers. Oh, my old assistant from my former job is actually coming on board with us in a few weeks, and we had a pretty good relationship too. I am looking forward to growing closer!

[and1grad]

I know my coworkers pretty well. A lot of us share whats going on in our lives and at times have hung out outside of work.

[PenforPrez]

My favorite thing about my job is my coworkers. They are a circus all on their own. These people are very open about their lives and likes and problems, and that's just how they are. These people are fascinating. I know more about the sex lives of a couple of them than I should.

My boss is just as bad. One day, the coworker I just went out with wore a halter top to work. Somebody elsewhere in the office complained, and the boss quietly told her she couldn't wear that to work. That day, my boss was wearing something far more revealing that barely covered her above the nipples. My coworker pointed that out, and my boss said: "I can't help that! I got big boobs!" :eek: :p

Paul

[and1grad]

That day, my boss was wearing something far more revealing that barely covered her above the nipples. My coworker pointed that out, and my boss said: "I can't help that! I got big boobs!"
Please elaborate on said outfit and said boobs. Thank you. :neutral:

[DCgirl]

After 7 years of working in 'Corperate America' I give everyone this piece of advice. Be CAUTIOUS with the information that you give out to your so called "friends/coworkers" about your personal life. That best buddy at work will use whatever personal information you say to their advantage to climb up the ladder.

I speak from experience. Even the 'nicest' pal that you think would never back stab you...he/she will do so. Remember, it's a rat race and everyone is out for hiself/herself.

Good luck!


I am curious, just because it seems that most people keep their personal life separate from their work life (which I guess is a good idea).

Since we spend such a big portion of our life AT work, how well do you really know your coworker as a person?

I am wondering because I was talking to a coworker (we sometimes sit in same meetings, but we don't work directly together and we don't really talk too much except to acknowledge each other in the hallway and make small talks), but today, in passing, we were talking about something when he said, "Well, I don't really know you too well". When I stopped to think about it, I thought, Hey, that's true, I don't really know him well (personally) either even though we've both been at the company for some time.

I wonder if this is common. I am definitely familiar with the coworkers in my own team, but that comment made me think that I really don't know some people as much as what is perceived of that person...:?:

[dacrunkest]

There's this guy that I work with, Dave...he has proven this in the past. Oh sure, he comes on like your pal, and when you confide something to him he uses it against you. I always have to tell new people to watch out for this tool. Even my supervisor, who is Darth Vader's trainee and is a rising star in the Little Emporer Palpatine Corporate Achievers Club, hates him.

[bananananafish]

There used to be three other people working with me at a specifice site. One quit and eventually another one quit, so now there's two of us now. We mainly talk about the frustrations about work. Once in awhile, we'd slip out something personal, such as where we live and where we used to work. And that's it. I'd like to keep it that way, especially when one of the co-workers who just quit used to share with me too much information, such as her sex life. So now I'm enjoying not having to know what sexual position the remaining co-worker prefers.

I work with a small, tight knit group of women. Each Friday afternoons, we all gather around and have a meeting in a restaurant. It's not your typical meeting where we are all sullen and serious. We laugh and joke around. Other co-workers would share personal information about themselves. I enjoy learning things about people, what they like to do, etc., but I prefer to expose little about my life.

[spokes]

i know some personally, and some others i only know what they tell me or want me to know......as a general rule it is best to move slow and be careful what you say to co-workers about bosses/others......

[WorkInProgress]

Depends on the coworker. Some I don't know all that well, some I know better than I'd wish, some I know outside of work. Some I know personally, and I found that I prefer them outside of work.

[wordsmith]

After 7 years of working in 'Corperate America' I give everyone this piece of advice. Be CAUTIOUS with the information that you give out to your so called "friends/coworkers" about your personal life. That best buddy at work will use whatever personal information you say to their advantage to climb up the ladder.

I speak from experience. Even the 'nicest' pal that you think would never back stab you...he/she will do so. Remember, it's a rat race and everyone is out for hiself/herself.

Good luck!

I find this to be less the case in non-corporate work settings, places where the ladder is a. much less of a strong motivator and b. well, often virtually nonexistent.

Although backstabbing can occur in virtually any setting, for sure, no doubt about that. It's just more common in work atmospheres that in essence actively reward undermining your coworkers.

[Adam Strange]

I think it depends on the nature of the work (collaborative or not), the environment (short-term or long-term) and the age disparity.

At my last job, there was a cluster of us in our early-to-mid 20s (administrative assistants, low-level editors) and the next tier (staff writers, midlevel editors) were late ’20s and early ’30s. Only the people at the top were late 30s and up. I have a nature that isolates me from other people (I’m still attempting to examine it) but I did make semi-friends with people at work. Yeah, do be careful. I had an assistant who I became fast friends with and that made everything awkward and frustrating when her job performance began to slump.

At my new job, I don’t know. Everyone is 30 or 40-something, is married and/or has a kid. I don’t have much in common with them. The editorial department is so small that I don’t collaborate with most of the people who work here ever and those who work in sales, I’m probably not much alike personality-wise. Oddly my boss, although 15 or so years older than me, is most similar. We’re both writers, are unmarried and some of the same movies, books, music ect. It kind of sucks because I don’t know anyone else in this area.

[wordsmith]

I find that if I'm with older coworkers, I do gel to them just fine. The writer-editor I work most closely with, and know the best (the one who hosts the Oscar party) is my mom's age (55). She's been married, divorced, has two daughters who are a year older than I am and a year younger than I am, a grandson, and a long-term S.O. she lives with. We're a lot a like personality-wise, although she's way calmer and more zen than me.

[ya never know..]

I have found out the hard way that there are very few people in this world that you can trust. I work with some of the biggest backstabbers, and I've learned who I can and can't trust...and those I can are few and far between.

[mahlerssecond]

I try to get along with my coworkers, but I just don't gel with most of them. I work immediately with five people Alot of it has to do with socioeconomics and outlook on life. Most of the folks seem so miserable, and have different attitudes about attendance, work ethic, etc. The only one I ever trust and take advice from is a very religious grandmother type. She seems to be the one that has her head screwed on the straightest (if you can get past her proselytizing) and the one that has been there the longest. She knows the ins and outs of the place and is the hardest worker. Everyone else seems so wishy-washy and can't be trusted.

[beeyawnka]

Some of my co-workers are my best friends. I have been working for a start-up company for just over a year, so with all the late nights and brainstorming sessions, it's hard not to form a close relationship with the people you are spending a lot of your time with. It might also be because I had just moved to L.A. and didn't know a lot of people, so I was also looking to making friends. We all are fairly close in age (within ten to twelve years of each other) and spend a lot of time outside of work together. In fact, I just took a weekend road trip with two of the girls I work with. But I love being close to my coworkers, it makes coming to work much more enjoyable and our coffee breaks much more entertaining!

[spiritedaway]

It seems like the experience across the board is varied.

I have worked with a group of people my age and it was a lot of fun. We have similar interests and it was fun in the sense that we went out together a lot for lunch and we really got to know one another. I also had a older friend (she has a few kids already) that I am still in touch even a few years after she left the company.

Now, I'm working with a nice, older, more mellow group. I know the people within my team well, but not the people within the department. It's fun in a different kind of way. Luckily, I have a coworker who is around my age who is a riot and who is like a guy version of me except he got married really young. And I guess it's just different (even though I've been in this setup for a few years now), which makes me wonder if the former experience was just a rare experience. I miss those days sometimes.

I am learning through the grapevine that there are a few coworkers dating each other (though I know 3 couples that have gotten married from meeting up at work). Then again, I also heard the story that someone was cheating with a married man, which was a little disheartening, even if I don't know the people involved.

My company is corporate and competitive, so I've come across one or two people whom I thought could be friends but ended up being backstabbers. So on one hand, I want to get to know people better. And on the other, I don't really want to know. Maybe part of the problem is that I haven't decided what I want yet, but I probably don't need to know the intimate details of any of my coworkers' lives. That I know for sure. :p

Thanks for sharing!

[d9r17]

I know a few of my co-workers well. I few of them I do not know. I dont mind not knowing my coworkers however I have a problem when coworkers ask you about your personal life and do not share things about their personal lives. I also have a problem when people are rude esp. when you say good morning and and do not receive a good morning back. Maybe I am being petty but I think that at the workplace you should be courteous to your coworkers. Just my two sense.