I don't know what to be when I grow up...

[IFeelSoLost]

Except I've grown up and am still stuck with the same question... what am I going to be?

I'm up so late right now crying, on the verge of throwing up. Since graduating college in 02 I've been stuck in the admin grind and finally had a nervous breakdown. I started having panic attacks and became a full blown agoraphobic. I'm working on putting my life back together and part of that is getting some sort of career focus.

I have the classic case of I know what I don't want to do.. yet don't know what I do want. I have interests, but can't see any of them turning into careers. I've done tons of research for the last 5 years, seen numerous career counselors, networked with people in different fields, done information interviews, etc. I feel like I've done everything a person can do. Yet I haven't come any closer to figuring out this great question of my life.

I know I have a purpose. I know my work needs to be meaningful and make some sort of difference. I just can't figure out how. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I've been trying so hard for nothing. Maybe I'm not supposed to be anything great at all.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice. What would you do if you were me? Any ideas on how I can get closer to figuring this mess out? I feel like I've done everything I can.

[WorkInProgress]

I don't have any real advice, just sympathy.

For what it's worth, I don't really know what I want to do either, but I'm doing something like I like enough that I'm good enough at that pays me enough to live at a place that I like with people that I like. And I feel pretty lucky, honestly.

[wordsmith]

I have interests, but can't see any of them turning into careers.

Is there any particular reason why not? Also, one mistake people sometimes make is thinking you need to turn your interests INTO careers, wholesale, when it's actually much easier (and usually far more realistic) to find careers that simply just incorporate various interests of yours.

Also, would it help to know that you don't have to be any one thing "when you grow up?" Life allows for a lot of growing and changing. It's not like you've got to sign on to some role or identity that you'd have to keep for the rest of your life.

[IFeelSoLost]

Is there any particular reason why not? Also, one mistake people sometimes make is thinking you need to turn your interests INTO careers, wholesale, when it's actually much easier (and usually far more realistic) to find careers that simply just incorporate various interests of yours.

Also, would it help to know that you don't have to be any one thing "when you grow up?" Life allows for a lot of growing and changing. It's not like you've got to sign on to some role or identity that you'd have to keep for the rest of your life.

Thank you for your response, it is much appreciated.

My main concern is that many of the things I am interested in that could be potential careers would require extensive education and most of the experience would be directly related to that field- so, in that aspect I feel like I don't have a lot of room for growth or to change careers. I know people do it often, but I don't have the financial resources to make a wrong choice on which type of graduate/ph.d degree I choose. I guess it makes me feel very limited in that whatever I choose to study, while I might enjoy the academic aspects of it, once I actually start the real world job aspect of it, I might hate it and then be stuck, stuck with debt I might add.

[IFeelSoLost]

I don't have any real advice, just sympathy.

For what it's worth, I don't really know what I want to do either, but I'm doing something like I like enough that I'm good enough at that pays me enough to live at a place that I like with people that I like. And I feel pretty lucky, honestly.

Thanks, I'll take any sympathy I can get :-)

I would be more than happy if I was in your shoes. I'm not saying I have to know exactly what I want to do now, or be in a career that I love but to at least be able to do be in a position I can handle and am good at would be more than enough for me at this stage. It would allow me to further my research into what I want to do ultimately. The main problem is that admin work makes me want to die. I can't do it anymore, yet it's all I have on my resume and it seems like there is an unfair bias towards it. I can't get any positions outside of it, despite having years of experience working for large companies and have a degree. It's a vicious cycle that is hard to get out of and I think HR people really need to stop pigeon-holeing admins. and allow their experience to be used in different roles.

Thanks again

[spiritedaway]

I really sympathize with you. You know, for the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I still don't, in many ways, even though I have a lot of interests and can learn things pretty quickly. But at least I'm now in a job where I am constantly learning (different from my field of study) and I'm grateful for it (even though I don't get the feeling that it is something that I'll be doing for the rest of my life)

The thing is, if your job is making you that miserable, why not just quit it and try something else? Can you do something entry level that, unfortunately, may pay lower, but will give you a broader work experience? Sure, it's risky, but some risks has its rewards too, and it's a safer bet than going back to school if you're not sure what you want to do.

Do you have a lot of financial obligations right now? If not, maybe it's worth looking into what else you can do. Let's look at it from a more pessimistic view: If you don't do anything (AND it's making you feel miserable) and unless you think there will be improvements at your job, you could very well still be miserable a year from now. Do you really want that? And if not, now is as good a time to think about how you would change things so you wouldn't be stuck there. Anyway, just one way to look at it, but I sympathize with you.