Stung

[Deavan]

Not sure really where to begin, but I used to be friends with a group of girls that all lived within a few miles of each other with whom I was sorority sisters with who all relocated to my current city.

We used to be pretty tight and if any social opportunity arised we would send an email out to everyone living locally, even the roommates and or homefriends of the girls who lived in the area, whether it be meeting for drinks or networking opportunities or other organized social events.

No real drama occured that I am aware of but back in March or thereabouts it seemed as if two girls in particular started to intentionally leave me out of things. This was not cool in my book and I would ask them if it was intentional and they would say oh no of course not etc etc.

It was about this time that I got real serious with my boyfriend and decided to expand upon my hobbies which are mostly athletic related, so coed soccer, tennis matches, bocce etc. So I started spending alot of time doing those things since that is where my interests are.

Fast forward a few months and I have made the decision to move in with my boyfriend. I sent out my new address and not once did I get a "congrats" or any type of response from the two in particular girls.

However some rumors were brought to my attention that were being talked about within a group of people who live several hundred miles away from me and whom were talking shit about me and my bf even though they arent a part of my life nor have they ever MET my current bf. However my best guy friend was there for these conversations and defended my bf and I for a "good hour" since he actually spends quality time with my bf and I. He then proceeded to call me to tell me that I need to speak with a certain "friend" in particular because what she said about me was out of control.

I tried to talk to this person and she siad I was blowing thinfs out of proportion but she never apologized nor denied saying taht stuff

Most recently an email invitation was sent out about the upcoming labor day weekend and how we were invited to a BBQ. Now keep in mind 6 people are on the invited. However girl#2 two replyed all and then erased my email address and invited the rest of the people to a party she was having. One of the other girls was replying to all that she couldnt be there but girl #2's party sounds like it will be a blast... now girl #2 met her bf through me and asked me if he was a good guy etc,. so i was bit perplexed about her actions since I was not part of that email... my response was "hey girls please double check who the emails are being sent to not everyone is included in the same invitations".

I am so hurt by these two girls, I am not sure what I did to be excluded but it is extremly hurtful and my boyfriend feels like crap because he feels that this is all his fault even though he has only met most of those girls 2 or 3 times since my hobbies and their hobbies are different. Plus those few times were tough because my bf is a shy guy, and wouldn't be the guy who is the center of attention but he tried to talk to these "friends" and would get little or no response, he has never once been rude or disrespectful to anyone and now he is feeling like I am losing friends because of him... this does affect our relationship only because I am feeling so slighted by these middle school behaviors that I am not very happy when at home...

I just don;t know what to do anymore

[Bocheezu]

They aren't your friends. Don't associate with them anymore. Don't invite them for anything and don't hang out with them. If that causes you to lose more friends as a result, oh well, then they really aren't your friends, either.

Although I admit, I never get too attached to people, so it's pretty easy for me to just cut people out completely. The only requirement I have for friendship is to not start drama. And this is pretty much off the charts are far as drama goes.

[spiritedaway]

Agreed with Bocheezu. Do you really need these people as "friends"?

Also, if someone doesn't want to be a friend, whether it's a falling out or growing apart, let it go; there's no point forcing the issue.

[Dirty Sanchez]

You're too good for that shit. Drop these bitches like they're hot and don't look back.

[Moon Gazing]

Maybe you should start organizing your own hang out dates and send emails to the other friends except the two that seem to be a bit immature and probably jealous of you. If you don't know why they have outcasted you then most likely you did nothing wrong. As for the bf and hobbies, you are an adult and you have choices. Just because others disagree on what you are doing with your life doesn't mean they have the right to make judgements. As my grandma always tells me, "to thy ownself be true." As long as you are happy in life it doesnt matter what another person's opinion is.

[winneythepooh7]

Definitely drop them. And don't question yourself for doing something wrong. It sounds like they are just petty bitches with their own set of issues that have absolutely nothing to do with you. I used to be super-tight with several "sisters" in college too, and now never hear from them ever, even when I've made the effort to reach out to them. I think sometimes people change after college and that "bond" that was once there is just not important anymore, or, people realize that they really didn't have all that much in common to begin with.