not any easier

[notsleeping]

I can't believe I'm even writing this, except that I can't seem to find anyone who understands - so I'm throwing it out there.

I turned 29 last week and had a meltdown. I thought that I would have it all together by now. And yet here I am happily married, just bought a house, master's degree and a good job and yet I feel like I am so empty all of the time. It's like something is missing but I don't know what. And then all of a sudden my friends start having children, and there's this incredible pressure to follow the pack. I can't even get my own life together. How could I possibly raise a child?

I feel like I should be so happy with my life and yet I'm not. I even started therapy last month in the hopes that I will figure this out before I completely lose my mind. Am I crazy? Does anyone else feel this way?

[crazy-girl]

Well, kind of. I think a lot of people think that their external situations are responsible for their happiness and that's probably not the case. I was working a horrible job for the past three years. I would pray to God for a new job because I thought that as soon as I escaped the crappy environment of my old job everything would be fixed. Well, I'm 2 months into my new job and I'm still not happy. I'm happier but then sometimes not at all. This scares me because I thought for sure that my old job was the cause of my troubles. Last week I started crying for no reason at all and I haven't done that since before I got this job.

I'm starting to realize that maybe something inside of me needs to be fixed instead of my external situation. I am thinking of therapy but not entirely sure yet.

I think you're doing the right thing by waiting to have a kid and by going to therapy but I hear that you can't expect an overnight change just by going to therapy. It might take a while to get "fixed".

[Unregistered]

I know what you mean. I used to shop like crazy thinking that if I had the right clothes, etc. that everything would be better. But I just found that I ended up with a ton of clothes and still feeling as lousy as I did before.

And it's true what they say about therapy. The hardest part has been sticking with it. At the beginning I was just relieved to have someone listening to me, but when it starts to get tough - and all of the painful stuff wants to come out - I want to quit. It's also emotionally exhausting. I just hope that I can stick with it until I figure out what I want. Which seems so selfish. I was raised in a very traditional household where my mom stayed home and my dad worked, and my mom was always sacrificing her happiness for us kids or my dad. I think that in some ways she resents us now. I don't want to end up like that.

[crazy-girl]

sounds like this is pretty common.

I too ran up close to $10,000 in credit cards thinking that if I had the right hair, the right clothes, went to the right places---I would be fine. Not the case.

[Unregistered]

I know what you guys mean. I am 21, with a great job, everything I want. I bought a new corvette a few months ago, have a great girl, but man... I just don't know what's going on. Arn't I suppost to be happy with everything? I find myself now looking at Viper's but I am almost sure that won't do it either. Then what? If I have everything I lusted after and am still not happy, where would I go from there?

[Unregistered]

Well, I think 21 is a little young for you to have it all figured out. I'm 25 and I sure as hell don't. Don't put too much emphasis on what others think, I think there would a lot less divorce and issues if people would just follow their hearts. My quarterlifecrisis(?) is that I've only been out of the house (I mean 100% indie) for about a year and a half and my family already is asking when I'm getting married or if I'm seeing someone exclusively. When did the fun stop? I'm just enjoying my independence and freedom and sometimes enjoying the self-discovery process. I just have no interest in being domesticated now, maybe because I've seen so much of it and people just seem miserable!

[Unregistered]

FULFILLMENT OF THE EMPTY LIFE

http://www.intouch.org/realmedia/audio/199911/3912.ram


I hope this helps, those in whom are feeling empty, i've felt that way before.

[Unregistered]

Originally posted by Unregistered
I know what you guys mean. I am 21, with a great job, everything I want. I bought a new corvette a few months ago, have a great girl, but man... I just don't know what's going on. Arn't I suppost to be happy with everything? I find myself now looking at Viper's but I am almost sure that won't do it either. Then what? If I have everything I lusted after and am still not happy, where would I go from there?

Come on! If I had as much money as you do, I would travel. You should try it. You could go to a different country and see how people live there and how much we sometimes take for granted. Going somewhere where a different language is spoken and other cultural rules apply, you will surely get a better sense of who you are and you might even discover what makes you truly happy. Anyway, it's always a memorable adventure.