classmates

[CityGal]

My classmates suck! In an effort to be more friendly and a team sport, I emailed my program (only about 16 or 20 of us) a simple question that I thought I would get multiple replies to. Do you think the whole lot even bothered? Nope! Those little craps of sh**s didn't even bother to reply. There was only one kid, who I emailed like twice, who replied. Everyone else sucks and is a L-O-S-E-R! ha. I'm going to try tackling them one by one, but still...ha.

Reason I'm trying to befriend as many of them is bc we had a seminar the other day in which I sat alone while they all sat together--well most of them. I really don't want to be the outcast when the group is so effing small. How do I befriend these people who seem not to want to be bothered with or who seem to know all the answers/have everything down packed-- I'm sure they don't, but it seems like that.

[Deni81]

My advice would be to just slowly start to establish rapport with individual members of the group instead of trying to get into the whole group. I can relate to your situation since I am the only out-of state member of my grad program. I have found that by just getting to talk to the people in my program and getting to know them slowy has been working. I even got included in a study group for next week.

[wordsmith]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that. I have to say that for me, being cut from the herd is pretty much the worst thing you can do to me. My pride really rankles. You might not want to do what I do, though, when excluded, which is pretty much write people off. There's something to be said for giving it another try. I don't really do much of that, but there is something to be said for it.

[winneythepooh7]

I agree with Deni. Also, keep in mind that not everyone is an email person. Or sometimes people are just busy in general and it takes them a few days to respond. I am sure it's nothing personal. Also, are there any kind of social groups/activities you can get involved in either related or not to your program/school? Lastly, is everyone a F/T student just going to school? I know when I was in grad school many people worked F/T and also had families, so it was very normal to only go to class and then duck out.

[Restless&Lost]

My classmates suck! In an effort to be more friendly and a team sport, I emailed my program (only about 16 or 20 of us) a simple question that I thought I would get multiple replies to. Do you think the whole lot even bothered? Nope! Those little craps of sh**s didn't even bother to reply. There was only one kid, who I emailed like twice, who replied. Everyone else sucks and is a L-O-S-E-R! ha. I'm going to try tackling them one by one, but still...ha.

Reason I'm trying to befriend as many of them is bc we had a seminar the other day in which I sat alone while they all sat together--well most of them. I really don't want to be the outcast when the group is so effing small. How do I befriend these people who seem not to want to be bothered with or who seem to know all the answers/have everything down packed-- I'm sure they don't, but it seems like that.

Grad school is still school, only with even more passive-aggressive, grade-grubbing wieners, and everyone basically puts on the act that they know what the hell is going on, but in reality they're just as clueless as you.

I was in a relatively small program myself, and we basically formed a bunch of tiny cliques. We all grew to be pretty friendly with each other for the most part, though.

But it's not necessarily something you should take personally. It took me a good month or two to really settle into a group of friends, and that happened pretty naturally, as I'm a person who's just as comfortable being out of the group as being in.

Don't pressure yourself. At the risk of sounding all "after-school-special", just be yourself and you'll eventually settle into a good group of friends -- it's bound to happen considering you all are presumably taking the same classes and will realize that working together is better than working alone any day. Plus, if you go to school in a small town, you'll constantly see each other out and about outside of school anyway. You'll make friends simply through the sheer amount of face-time you'll have with each other.

[meatwad]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/73/The_More_You_Know.jpg

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

[arrow]

How do they all know each other? I'm sorry your classmates suck. Maybe you can look for just one other person to bond with, and start from there.

Last year in grad school I bonded with the other first-years (we all had the intro class together), and now in my second year I see and talk to everybody I knew from last year but I realize that excludes some other people in my classes. But if the class is small enough then everybody ends up connecting as time goes on. And in my program, almost nobody hangs out after or before class because everyone works full time.

[CityGal]

My classmates and I only have until the end of December to socialize. During the spring and summer, we don't have to come to school except to meet with the person who will look after us with the thesis--which is just a one on one. Things are slowly getting better, so I'm not going to stress about it anymore. Besides I have tons of other things to work out.

PS....one of my classmates from the program sought me out in facebook, so we are now "friends" ha. ....so improving slowly.

Thank you for the afterschool messages. :D :D :D

[Dirty Sanchez]

I love Meatwad. :D