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sundaycomics
10-27-2007, 05:50 PM
(whoa this is longer than I anticipated)

A few days ago my coworker's wife had their second child. My first thought after learning about the baby was something like, "That's awesome! Babies are so cute! I want one!"

That last part really scared me.

My husband and I are both 24, college grads with professional jobs. We both want kids someday but not for a few years. And that makes total sense - I really like my job but the hours are insane, he just finished his master's so we don't have much extra cash, and although we just moved to a house we're renting it. I love that we can sleep in late on Saturdays and go to movies on short notice. We can do that because all we have to take care of are two cats. Have a baby and that all disappears.

I've always loved kids - my first job was in a daycare. But lately I've been drawn to them more than when I was in high school or college. In checkout lines I make faces at the little kids in front of me to see them smile. During the coffee hour after church, if I disappear on my husband, he knows to first check for me in the nursery. For a few hours after hearing that my coworker's daughter had been born, I had this strange urge to hold a baby.

When I told my husband about this he was like, "So you have maternal instincts. Nothing to worry about." Then he suggested calling our pastor and offering him a night out with his wife while I watched his toddler and baby.

Does anyone else out there have these thoughts going through their head, even though you might know rationally that now isn't the right time for parenthood?

winneythepooh7
10-27-2007, 06:45 PM
Is there ever a right time for parenthood though? My husband and I just got married, and were discussing starting a family, and then I just found out I may be losing my job and health benefits (he was planning on going on mine). So I guess that puts having a kid on the back burner for awhile. That's the main reason we are waiting. And we are OLD too!

wordsmith
10-27-2007, 09:53 PM
My younger brother (he's 28) and his wife (she's 30) are expecting their first, which would be the first child of this generation in our family. I'm the same age as my sister in law, and know I want kids at some point, but I don't feel financially comfortable with it right now. But, really, that's the only thing holding me back from wanting a kid.

So, yes, I do think there is a "right time" for parenthood, personally. That time comes when you know you're emotionally ready, and you feel financially prepared to handle the additional expenses and still be comfortable. And obviously, only if you have the strong personal pull to be a parent, which not everyone does.

ebruening
10-27-2007, 10:02 PM
When I told my husband about this he was like, "So you have maternal instincts. Nothing to worry about." Then he suggested calling our pastor and offering him a night out with his wife while I watched his toddler and baby.

Would your husband help you watch the kids, or was he suggesting that you would take care of them alone?

sundaycomics
10-28-2007, 04:21 PM
Would your husband help you watch the kids, or was he suggesting that you would take care of them alone?

He'd come along too, as long as there's not a game on he wants to see. :p

cheshrcarol
10-28-2007, 05:15 PM
I think it sounds like your biological clock has started ticking. I think your husband had a great a idea to volunteer as a babysitter. Maybe that will get it out of your system. Or, maybe you can start to seriously plan for when would be a good time in your lives to start a family. Are there financial goals you want to achieve first - a certain amount saved, own a home, etc?

Wordsmith - was this the family member that was having trouble conceiving?

sundaycomics
10-28-2007, 07:59 PM
Or, maybe you can start to seriously plan for when would be a good time in your lives to start a family. Are there financial goals you want to achieve first - a certain amount saved, own a home, etc?


We both want three (for now) and agree on late 20s-early 30s. As far as financial goals, the first thing we want to do is save up for a house. We're just able to start doing that now because he's finished with his master's and working full-time - my salary and a grad stipend was enough to get by comfortably but not much else. After that, who knows.

Anybody in southeastern/central PA need a babysitter? :p

sundaycomics
10-28-2007, 08:02 PM
Is there ever a right time for parenthood though? My husband and I just got married, and were discussing starting a family, and then I just found out I may be losing my job and health benefits (he was planning on going on mine). So I guess that puts having a kid on the back burner for awhile. That's the main reason we are waiting. And we are OLD too!

Sorry about the job situation, btw. What are your prospects for a new one?

wordsmith
10-28-2007, 09:46 PM
Wordsmith - was this the family member that was having trouble conceiving?

Yes...they passed their first trimester a month ago, and so are as "in the clear" at this point as these things get.

winneythepooh7
10-28-2007, 10:10 PM
Sorry about the job situation, btw. What are your prospects for a new one?

Don't want to jack your thread, but I sent out about 10 resumes this weekend, sent my info to a headhunter, and have been networking like crazy!

cheshrcarol
10-28-2007, 10:23 PM
Yes...they passed their first trimester a month ago, and so are as "in the clear" at this point as these things get.Wow, that's wonderful.

/threadjack

sundaycomics
10-28-2007, 10:46 PM
Don't want to jack your thread, but I sent out about 10 resumes this weekend, sent my info to a headhunter, and have been networking like crazy!

Hope it works out because being unemployed sucks.

Now back to me and my question. (Hey, YOU'RE the one who didn't want to threadjack. ;): )