To text after a date?

[DuckFan]

This is really a petty question...

And usually I am pretty decisive about what I should or shouldn't do--I just do what I feel I want to do and should do...

Anyway, to the point. Sometimes I send out a text after a date and say "Hey, I had a great time. Look forward to doing something again soon."

Brief and to the point. Why do I do it? Good question. Perhaps for a number of reasons. A) To express my interest and to be genuine in saying I had a good time. B) Cut out the ambiguity that can follow after a first or second date C.) To see, at least as much as you can through a text, if she had a good time and agrees.

Is this "weak" of me to do?

Should I just not send that text and make a call in a couple of days to set-up another date?

I hate games. I am honest and up-front, so I don't need the "games" to help me get dates or feel the need to play games because I don't now how to act in situations. Games are for the confused. I am not one of those.

Sending the post-date text cuts through games. I am at a point where I want to date/get to know women that aren't going to play games, be flakely, don't have an interest. Sometimes this text can cut through the games. She knows I am interested, there isn't second-guessing. Also, if someone is hesitant about how things are progressing, the text can cut through that as well.

If she isn't interested it can usually come out in this low-pressure way.

I think it's better than having a great date, saying nothing for a few days, calling, waiting for a call back, only to find out she really didn't think it went as well. This goes both ways, I think.

Anyway, just thought I would post this question.

Thoughts?

[Deni81]

I don't see anything wrong with sending a quick post-date text. I think it lets the other person know that you had a good time and establishes interest in a future date.

[madge86]

I got a text message today from a guy that simply said "When are we going to go out again? :)" (We went out Saturday night.) I didn't know how to answer. Truthfully, he's a nice guy, but there's no romantic chemistry/connection whatsoever. Thoughts?

[DuckFan]

"I got a text message today from a guy that simply said "When are we going to go out again? " (We went out Saturday night.) I didn't know how to answer. Truthfully, he's a nice guy, but there's no romantic chemistry/connection whatsoever. Thoughts?"


Did you text him back? At least you know he wants to see you again.

Personally, I would've called. However, I SOMETIMES do the post-date text just to say I had fun--not to ask a girl out.

[wordsmith]

I hate texts and would rather get a phone call.

[Moon Gazing]

Nothing wrong with sending a text that you enjoyed her company. If anything it will stop her from wondering if you really had a great time or not.

[hoodie]

It's cool because you text AND call a few days after the text to make a date. Where are guys like DuckFan where I live? :p

[Bsig84]

Yeah I definately think a post-date text is a good idea. As long as you do call and dont communicate primarily through texts it should be fine. My boyfriend sent me a text like that after our first date and I thought it was very sweet.

[CityGal]

The post-date text can be a bit iffy. Sometimes it is welcomed and sometimes it can be overwhelming. With those you normally proceed with caution. I def. agree on not letting it be just an electronic relationship. Although talking on the phone may seem antiquated, it is still a great and personal way to communicate.



:D :D WITH THIS MARKS MY 1000th POST!!!! YIPPPEE...:D :D :D :D

[Kragthorpe]

NO to the post date text.

You just saw the person...you want them wanting more. Texting right away fulfills their need for more. If their appetite can't grow, they stop being hungry. Wait....then after you wait, wait some more. THEN call.

[SWMOchick]

NO to the post date text.

You just saw the person...you want them wanting more. Texting right away fulfills their need for more. If their appetite can't grow, they stop being hungry. Wait....then after you wait, wait some more. THEN call.
Wait too long, and you might miss out.

[Kragthorpe]

Of course. If you go out Friday, then don't wait until Easter. But if YOU want to see her, and she equally wants to see you....then you KNOW you want to see her, and therefore she probably feels the same. Just wait enough to calm yourself down a little, then wait maybe one more day. If Friday...maybe wait until Tuesday. But not until Easter.

[aggiegrad05]

I'm a huge fan of post-first date texts. Timing is another issue entirely, but a text v. a call is, in my opinion, way better. If I didn't really like the guy and don't want to go out with him again, it saves us both from having to have the painfully awkward "You're really great and I had a wonderful time on our date, but..." convo over the phone. I can just reply via text if they ask me out that I'm not interested in a decidedly less awkward way.

And if I did like the guy (I actually had a first date last night that went well and he texted me this morning with something funny), well then it's good. You can have a little bit of witty banter back and forth and then take it from there. You have to be careful though that you don't have texts completely replace phone calls. We sent a few texts each this morning and then I didn't reply to the last one, partly because it was at a natural stopping point, but mostly because I already let him know that I'm interested by texting with him a little bit. Now it's time for him to actually call if he wants to see me again. You've gotta know when to stop. Like Krag said, it's about leaving them wanting more.

[embrassezla]

If a guy texted me after a first date, I'd be totally turned off. Pick up the freakin' phone.

[wordsmith]

If a guy texted me after a first date, I'd be totally turned off. Pick up the freakin' phone.

*applauds*

Same for IMs. If we're meeting up for dates, we're probably past the "I only talk to you via a written medium" phase. If we've had face time, it's okay to go with the phone from now on.

[hereisnewyork]

texts are ok but you definitely need to call as well, within the next 2 days....and if u didnt text you should call the next day. that's how i feel...i hate waiting around for a guy, especially if both people like each other...and if one doesn't you'll find out quicker.

[SWMOchick]

texts are ok but you definitely need to call as well, within the next 2 days....and if u didnt text you should call the next day. that's how i feel...i hate waiting around for a guy, especially if both people like each other...and if one doesn't you'll find out quicker.
I agree. If you're the guy (could be the girl as well, just saying), and you call the girl the next day, a number of things could happen. She could end up not being interested, and then you'd know. If she likes you, she could think it's sweet that you couldn't wait to call her. If she's undecided about you, it could go either way.

[Kragthorpe]

Two days is too soon. 3-4 minimum. If it's a Friday date...don't call before after work on Monday.

[hoodie]

Two days is too soon. 3-4 minimum. If it's a Friday date...don't call before after work on Monday.

If you ask me, those types of games are annoying.

[SWMOchick]

If you ask me, those types of games are annoying.
AMEN!!

[Kragthorpe]

I agree, but I don't think it's a game at all. There's something to be said for not scaring a girl off, and if you're always there or calling a lot, or she just saw you, then she could quickly lose interest...especially early in a relationship. TOO MANY guys have lost another date by calling too soon. It happens.

[Kragthorpe]

Also, how is that "game" any different than the whole notion that once the date is over, YOU cannot call US and WE are the ones who have to call YOU?

[SWMOchick]

Also, how is that "game" any different than the whole notion that once the date is over, YOU cannot call US and WE are the ones who have to call YOU?
My general rule of thumb - the one who asks calls. If the girl asked out the guy, she should call.

[Kragthorpe]

It should be forward looking, not backward. The one who wants to ask (or see) again should call. And either one calling is therefore appropriate.

[SWMOchick]

It should be forward looking, not backward. The one who wants to ask (or see) again should call. And either one calling is therefore appropriate.
What would you do if a girl called you the next day....besides faint? :p

[hoodie]

Never said it wasn't. Nor would I be opposed to calling a guy I really liked a day or two after. Hopefully, that'd be a non-issue, though because if he liked me, hopefully he'd be calling me too rather than sounding like a cast-off from the script of "Swingers" And if he gets scared off by a phone call, I've got a few choice phrases to offer a "gem" like that.

[Kragthorpe]

What would you do if a girl called you the next day....besides faint? :p


Anything she wanted?

[SWMOchick]

Never said it wasn't. Nor would I be opposed to calling a guy I really liked a day or two after. Hopefully, that'd be a non-issue, though because if he liked me, hopefully he'd be calling me too rather than sounding like a cast-off from the script of "Swingers" And if he gets scared off by a phone call, I've got a few choice phrases to offer a "gem" like that.
You, girl, are on a roll. :applauds:

[SWMOchick]

Anything she wanted?
Hey, so...what's your number? LOL

[Kragthorpe]

Twelve.

[SWMOchick]

Twelve.
Is that or IQ? Shoe size? Hmmm....

[Kragthorpe]

It's anything you want?

[SWMOchick]

It's anything you want?
I want to go shopping and have some lunch. Have a good day! And good luck with your little red haired girl.

[Kragthorpe]

Thanks! I'm leaving the office now to go to her part of town...so it's getting close!!! Yay!

[hereisnewyork]

Also, how is that "game" any different than the whole notion that once the date is over, YOU cannot call US and WE are the ones who have to call YOU?

guy should call the girl within 2 days...girl should respond if she likes them...end of story. lol