Jim Bob
11-21-2007, 05:50 PM
Hi there. I was just wondering what you folks thought about something that I've rolling over in my mind. Recently I was over the pond in the USA and whilst in a café there was this waitress who, essentially, was a bit flirty with me. Nothing much beyond flirty, but me being me, I did nothing as I wasn’t prepared for it, plus I’m quite shy anyway. As is usual for me, I never said anything beyond politely smiling and just left. Now, normally I just chalk these situations down to my shyness and kind of go “oh well” and carry on with my life – another small regret for the pile. But this time, for some reason, I feel like I can’t leave it alone. It’s almost as if I’ve reached a point where my mind is saying “No: no more regrets. This can’t be unresolved”. It’s just a pity I feel this way about the most impractical one of these situations, since I’m now back in the UK so I can’t just pop by the café again and try to make a better account of myself.
My question is this: would it be terribly weird of me to email her, via her work (it’s a kind of famous café/diner with a website)? I mean, if I lived near there it wouldn’t be odd at all (I don’t think) of me to drop by again for a coffee and maybe try to talk a bit more. It’s just in this situation I can’t do that. I’m worried though that emailing might come across as odd and, at worst, a bit like the behaviour of a stalker, which is the last thing I’d want. In my mind I’m thinking that this is no big deal: I’m just a guy who found someone who served him coffee attractive, she showed a tiny bit of interest in me, so I’m throwing in my line. I’m not going to beg for a date or anything, I’d just describe the situation in case she remembers who I was and leave contact details. If she wanted to contact then great; if not, then there’s no need to reply and I’ll just leave it at that. But what would it look like from her point of view?
I know there is pretty much no chance of anything coming of this, and I’m prepared for that, but I just want to at least be able to think to myself “at least I gave it a try”. I’ve messed up enough moments in my life – whether they were chances or not – by doing nothing and they all haunt me daily, and I don’t want this to be another. What I’m worried about though if whether this is a no-lose situation for me, or is there is chance it actually could have unwanted consequences? I’d like to think it would come across as some kind of Hugh Grant type of fumbled but charming gesture, but I’m scared it’s more likely to come across as Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, making his move on Betsy the campaign worker by storming into her workplace unannounced. I'm just finding this a very hard one to judge.
Hopefully I don’t come across as a loony by even just writing this! I’m just a single guy who fell for somebody he met, but unfortunately before he had the chance to realise there was 2500 miles of water put in the way.
If anybody's been in similar situations please feel free to post in here too!
My question is this: would it be terribly weird of me to email her, via her work (it’s a kind of famous café/diner with a website)? I mean, if I lived near there it wouldn’t be odd at all (I don’t think) of me to drop by again for a coffee and maybe try to talk a bit more. It’s just in this situation I can’t do that. I’m worried though that emailing might come across as odd and, at worst, a bit like the behaviour of a stalker, which is the last thing I’d want. In my mind I’m thinking that this is no big deal: I’m just a guy who found someone who served him coffee attractive, she showed a tiny bit of interest in me, so I’m throwing in my line. I’m not going to beg for a date or anything, I’d just describe the situation in case she remembers who I was and leave contact details. If she wanted to contact then great; if not, then there’s no need to reply and I’ll just leave it at that. But what would it look like from her point of view?
I know there is pretty much no chance of anything coming of this, and I’m prepared for that, but I just want to at least be able to think to myself “at least I gave it a try”. I’ve messed up enough moments in my life – whether they were chances or not – by doing nothing and they all haunt me daily, and I don’t want this to be another. What I’m worried about though if whether this is a no-lose situation for me, or is there is chance it actually could have unwanted consequences? I’d like to think it would come across as some kind of Hugh Grant type of fumbled but charming gesture, but I’m scared it’s more likely to come across as Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, making his move on Betsy the campaign worker by storming into her workplace unannounced. I'm just finding this a very hard one to judge.
Hopefully I don’t come across as a loony by even just writing this! I’m just a single guy who fell for somebody he met, but unfortunately before he had the chance to realise there was 2500 miles of water put in the way.
If anybody's been in similar situations please feel free to post in here too!