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Densel
02-08-2004, 04:34 PM
Just out of curiousity...

Say you meet a girl that you are attracted to. You approach her, you both have a good conversation, you know she is attracted to you, you buy her a drink, ask her if she will like to have dinner with you, you are impressed by her and give her compliments. (At no time was there kissing or fondling of any type)

At the end of the night, you ask her for her number, she gives it to you and you give your number to her, you say you will call...but you after a week, you still haven't call her.

What reasons could you have not to call her?

Let's suppose you didn't loose her number and you were not drunk at the time.

mikeynus
02-08-2004, 04:38 PM
If you had a good time with her, call her. Don't wait too long. I'm not one to play games about calling within a certain # of days, etc, but if you want to know the rules for that rent SWINGERS. Good luck.

Densel
02-08-2004, 04:46 PM
Actually, I'm a girl.

I just wanted a guy's insight as to why or possible reasons why a guy won't call a girl if he had a good time when he initially meets her.

t-dub
02-08-2004, 05:15 PM
Interesting topic...and I'm very glad you brought it up. If I have happily agreed to exchange numbers with someone and they don't call me, it is irritating...especially if I let it slip my mind for a short while and end up misplacing the number.

You got his number, he's got yours...um...why haven't YOU called him yet?????
:confused:
!!!Honestly!!!

Are you not as interested in him as you want him to be in you??

Maybe he's in the hospital...maybe someone in his family is in the hospital...maybe a friend of his needed his support for something...maybe he won the lottery and is a little to preoccupied with people asking him for money...maybe he left for vacation for a few days...maybe his phone got shut off due to some crossed wires...maybe he sent YOUR number through the washing machine and is waiting by the phone for you to call because he knows he gave you his number as well...maybe he wrote it down wrong...maybe he can't read your writing...an interesting thing...the world may never know.
:confused:
The point here is...you will never know if you aren't proactive and find out for yourself!!!

If you are that interested in him, the GET ON THE PHONE!!!
;) ;) ;)
T
:cool: :cool: :cool:

t-dub
02-08-2004, 05:35 PM
I've never quoted myself, but I have to now...


Originally posted by t-dub
Maybe he's in the hospital...maybe someone in his family is in the hospital...maybe a friend of his needed his support for something...maybe he won the lottery and is a little to preoccupied with people asking him for money...maybe he left for vacation for a few days...maybe his phone got shut off due to some crossed wires...maybe he sent YOUR number through the washing machine and is waiting by the phone for you to call because he knows he gave you his number as well...maybe he wrote it down wrong...maybe he can't read your writing...an interesting thing...the world may never know.


Weirdbrake...I'm going to ask you two questions and you provide 1 answer without indicating which question you answered. Sound fun?

Have you ever met someone and exchanged phone numbers, never called them, but later wished that you had?

Should she call him?

:)

T

mikeynus
02-08-2004, 06:09 PM
Sorry I read your post quickly and missed the point...

I agree with Weirdbrake that he might not be interested if he hasn't called by now...I'd just keep in mind that some guys have rules that they won't call the first week so they don't seem desperate. It's entirely possible he's interested but didn't have the nerve, lost the #, etc - the only way you'll know for sure is to CALL HIM. You have nothing to lose, go for it.

t-dub
02-08-2004, 06:47 PM
the first question...because if you had answered the second question...i may have to rethink OUR relationship!!!

T

kimmer23
02-08-2004, 06:51 PM
the guy might be interested, but i think a lot of guys just act very immature and dont want to be in reltionships at the moment. they just think "well if i call her, then i have to taker her out and then she'll meet my parents....blah, blah, blah." some guys would rather hang out with their dumb guy friends and get wasted than actually have a meaningful relationship with a girl. they dont want to give up their carefree single life.

t-dub
02-08-2004, 06:53 PM
Can we get a little more optimism around here?

Honestly...i think a lot of people come here because reality just body checked them...and they are looking for a little pick me up and understanding...maybe even a possible solution.

T

t-dub
02-08-2004, 07:23 PM
You make some very valid points. I cannot say I've experienced the same things nor am I familiar with Densel's other posts.

I have found in my experiences...that most people are good people at heart...and if they didn't have feelings and emotions and all their decisions were based logically, the "dating game" might be a little easier...but that's not the case.

It seems that at different times in people's lives they need or want different things...sometimes a person may be just right...and other times...not so much. It seems the decision is usually based on how a person "feels" at the time they make a decision ...and then later they may rethink their position or the actions they took under emotional influence...and decide it may have been a bit irrational.

I try not to close doors on anybody...and I make it a point to let them know that the door is not only unlocked...but open should they decide to establish a relationship (of any kind) at all.

I have some very good relationships with people that I did give a "delayed" opportunity to...mostly because they or I didn't think at the time it would have worked out to be something big and grand...but it did turn into a decent friendship...which has been nice. I've done it with emails, phone conversations, through friends...it has generally worked out well for me to give those "delayed" responses merit and explore them...to satisfy my own curiosity of the individual if nothing else. I think I may be the type that likes it when the ball's in my court rather than in someone else's...you can't score if you don't have the balls!

(pun);)

T

After thought:

To me, it is prejudice to try and categorize someone as good for only one thing when first meeting. It doesn't seem that you can determine one's value by first labeling them then try to make them fit that label when the person could very well be much better at something else in your life rather than what you had them pinned for. They, for example, could be the son or daughter owner of of the best real estate firm in the area and you could be a person that just happens to be entering the housing market looking to purchase.

I almost always retort "yeah, but you always have a pretty good idea!" to the quip "You just never know..."

Both may be true in this situation...from my perspective..."you just never know..." but from your perspective, "you've got a pretty good idea!"

I'd like to hear how things turn out...

Best of luck,
------------------T

kimmer23
02-08-2004, 08:37 PM
if you arent interested why get their number to begin with? makes no sense... well i am almost married, so it doesnt matter to me. how do you know you arent interested if you dont give that person a chance? you might miss out on something really special. i think a lot of people are just afraid to take the chance.

lostindc
02-08-2004, 11:45 PM
Personally if I say I will call - I will call either the next day or the day after. My theory is that dating is hard enough without playing all these silly games of waiting for the other person to call first or saying you'll call when you have no intention of doing so. If you are interested in him - then call him - otherwise forget about him.

klo1335
02-09-2004, 08:42 AM
Games are SO stupid! When I went out on my first date with my boyfriend he called me the next day. When I told my one guy friend this he was like, "isn't he supposed to wait 3 days before he calls you?" My point being that people think there are these "rules" you have to follow but if you like someone then who cares about "rules." If this guy hasn't called you yet and you have his number then I think that you should just give him a call. Good Luck!

kimmer23
02-09-2004, 08:47 AM
i guess it goes both ways with getting numbers. my girlfriend comes home with numbers all the time.... you would think both parties would exchange numbers, but most of the time it seems one way. i dont think i would worry too much if a guy got my number at a bar/club/restaurant/mall, etc.. and didnt call, but i would be pretty pissed if we went out a few times and then he didnt call. there are a lot of people that are just too scared to be honest and give people a heads up!

Densel
02-09-2004, 12:17 PM
Guys, thank you so much for all your posts.

Weirdbrake, although I don't know you, it means a lot to me that you wrote:

"I'm familiar with Densel's past posts, and it's obvious from what I know about her that she can do a lot better than some chump who isn't interested. " THAT IS VERY SWEET!

I was very confused than pissed as to why a guy will approach me, ask for my number, ask to go out to dinner with me and not call. Who knows, he might have had a bet with his friends as to who can get the most phone numbers. CHILDISH JERKS!

Well, just out of curiousity (since I have nothing to loose), I called him over the weekend and told him that I couldn't go to Vegas with he and his friends.

OH! I forgot to mention that he invited me to Vegas for the weekend when his friend had brought it up. I really didn't think he wanted me to come along since he didn't know me too well, but since his friend kinda brought it up, he probably went along with it not to be rude. So they insisted I think about it. I had no plans of going because I will NEVER just go with people I don't know.

Anyway, he was like, "I've been trying to keep my head above water this week with work and law school. How was your week?, I wish you could make it to Vegas? Maybe we could do something next week?"

At this point, I'm just turned off cause he seems like the type to play games. And worse of all, he called me "Sweetie" which is such a turn off to me. It's so pretentious! YUCK!