He's got bad teeth

[bluup10]

He's an otherwise very attractive guy but he has very bad teeth. We went on a date last Saturday and I'm immensely attracted to him but his teeth put me off.

We had a 5 hour long date on Saturday and we share the same views on (most) things. It was lovely but I can't imagine kissing him.

Am I being shallow?

[sparky88]

If someone's teeth is a dealbreaker it makes me wonder how much you care about him. Teeth can always be fixed. But feelings cannot.

That said, I can understand if you aren't attracted to him and it's a common turn-off for many people since teeth/hygiene reflect the overall health of a potential mate/partner/whatever. I have never dated someone with bad teeth, personally.

[old_school_soul]

Drop him. Ugh, gross, bad teeth are disgusting for me. You might as well have bad breath. I would never be able to get over it, personally.

[hereisnewyork]

Oh man, I went out on a date with a guy last night who could be really great...but I'm not totally attracted to him and one of the reasons is not so great teeth...but I think it's something you just gotta stick with and if you really like someone they eventually will start looking better to you and you won't care about that stuff...hopefully.

[Bsig84]

I dont think you are being shallow at all. I know a lot of people that say they couldnt date someone with bad teeth. I think you may want to stick with it for a little while to see where it goes. Its still so new that you never know. Sometimes those feelings grow and when you get to know someone they can become even more attractive. If you still cant imagine kissing him after dating him for a while, move on.

[bluup10]

Well, I'm seeing him again tomorrow night. There is already something else that made me think hard: his reluctance to buy property, which is actually not that bad, considering I'm not screening for a potential husband. But it would be nice to meet a 29 year old guy who is sorted.

Everything else about him is above board. He reads! I've always wanted a boyfriend who reads. He stays quite far away from me but that's fine, as he doesn't mind driving to me.

I'm just worried that his teeth is a sign of a bigger problem, which could be that his personal hygiene isn't too hot. We'll see how I feel after tomorrow.

[pisces2473]

When you say bad teeth...what does that mean, exactly? Not cleaned professionally, doesn't brush? Or are they crooked, missing? Rotted out, black? Combination?

I guess all of those could be bad...but if they are just crooked, then maybe braces weren't financially possible for him?

BTW, my husband is 31 and doesn't own property...wow, he must be really unsorted out. :rolleyes:

[embrassezla]

Yeah I was wondering what exactly you mean by "bad teeth" as well. If they're crooked but clean, I'd say who cares. If they are nasty due to poor hygiene, then you're definitely NOT being shallow. Yuck yuck yuck.

[old_school_soul]

When you say bad teeth...what does that mean, exactly? Not cleaned professionally, doesn't brush? Or are they crooked, missing? Rotted out, black? Combination?


She's saying bad teeth, and worried about hygiene, I'm guessing it doesn't have to do with them being crooked. Grey, yellow, brown, and missing is what I would suspect.

[Carmi]

Funny how the heart wants what the heart wants. If the passion was truelly there, I think you'd be able to see beyond the bad teeth- its very true when said love/lust is blind ;) Perhaps you're just not that into him?

Bad teeth aside, I think we all have physical preferences that could be a dealbreaker - a stutter, bad teeth, - mine is long hair. And I've tried. I dated a perfectly lovely guy, but he had the most rediculous long hair- I mean way down his back- and it freaked me out everytime he tossed it. He was 6.7 - it just didnt seem right. Did I miss out on Mr Right because I was superficial, nah - I think I tried and learnt that I have a preference, why I dont know, but its pointless trying to fight it so that I dont appear to be superficial. Dont beat yourself up about it.

[cameralady]

Bad teeth aside, I think we all have physical preferences that could be a dealbreaker - a stutter, bad teeth

Funny you should mention this-if I had treated these characteristics as a deal breaker, it would have saved me from becoming involved with someone who turned out to be a jerk. :evil:

I think I tried and learnt that I have a preference, why I dont know, but its pointless trying to fight it so that I dont appear to be superficial. Dont beat yourself up about it.
Some guys are superficial about a lot less; don't feel guilty about it. :D

[Bsig84]

Brown or yellow teeth isnt always a sign of poor hygiene. I knew a guy that had yellow teeth with some brown areas and it was because he had cancer and the chemo changed the color of his teeth. There are other ways to tell if someone has poor hygiene. Does he smell bad? Are his nails clean?

[pisces2473]

My teeth are yellowed with white spots because I had a SUPER high fever as an infant and the then-forming enamel was damaged. I also had braces which discolored my teeth.

[Kitty]

I have a thing for teeth, so bad teeth is a serious dealbreaker for me.

[TinyDancer]

Call me shallow. . . but if I'm not attracted to someone, I'm not attracted. Yeah, it is superficial to have issues with the way someone looks, but if you are repulsed by someone's features, how's that going to work?

Sorry, but in the online dating world, I have rejected people based on looks, because if I'm absolutely not in the slightest bit attracted. . . eh.

[wordsmith]

Depends on if "bad" means crooked, or if "bad" means rot.

I wouldn't be bothered by crooked teeth, myself. I grew up ffairly low income, and without dental coverage, so no braces for me. It's only by sheer luck that my teeth are naturally pretty straight, not that other things, like my overbite, couldn't have been fixed had the funds been there. Not everyone grows up with that kind of privilege, though, to be guaranteed straight teeth, and you can't do much to straighten your own teeth, so I'm not gonna hold that against somebody. There but for the grace of God go I, and all that jazz. Hygiene is generally another matter, though.

[SpaceMonkey]

Teeth can always be fixed.

I don't disagree with the rest of what you wrote, but, I just wanted to point out for the record that no, teeth can't always be fixed, if we are talking about orthodontics. I probably have what would be considered borderline "bad" teeth after many, many years of orthodontics as a teenager. I still have a pretty open bite, gaps, etc., but to fix my teeth any further would greatly increase the risk that I'll lose them all due to root resorption.

[spiritedaway]

I'm sorry, I may sound/be shallow, but it depends on how bad it is.

If it's slightly crooked, it's probably not a big deal. But if someone is missing a front tooth (and I know someone who does), I'm just not going to be attracted. I'm going to have a hard time keeping a straight face...or attention.

I'm all for getting to know someone (and I have liked people who I didn't think we could click initially), but I doubt I'd be attracted since there's a reason for "first impression". Anyone who says otherwise is probably not completely truthful about it.

[starrynight]

spirited, I started laughing about the missing front tooth part when you put in parentheses "and I know someone who does" was that really necessary? haha!

[asm198]

Ditto what Words said. I never had braces and I have a pretty crazy overbite. In general, I'm not totally happy with my teeth, but other than the placement, they are pretty healthy. Purely lucky genes.

My husband has teeth issues, however. The poor guy has tried hard to take great care of his teeth his entire life, yet there's always an issue. His dad and brother have the same issues, which convinces me that some issues are purely genetic.

His dad jokes that his dental work has paid for every car the family dentist has owned. That's how much they go to the dentist. This guy is so much apart of their family that my husband still goes to him, even though we live 2.5 hours away. I mean, he was invited to our wedding.

That's how much his family goes to the dentist, yet they still have problems with their teeth. Now, me, I haven't set food in a dentists office in 15 years. I had a very bad experience when I was 13 and said never again. I figure I'll have to go one day, but I'll have to interview them first. No one will ever mess around in my mouth until I fully trust them to basically knock me out for anything at all. Terrified doesn't quite cover how I feel about dentists.

[bluup10]

Just wanted to give an update on Mr Teeth. I think his teeth might be the only bad side to him...wowie. I can't believe I almost shunned him based solely on his (really bad) teeth.

He's a great kisser. He reads so much! He enjoys the outdoors, loves going out for coffee, et cetera. He thinks I'm so very sexy! He thinks for himself.

I'm falling for him big time, ladies and gents. And I think (I hope) he's also falling for me. Let's hope. And even if he isn't (though I'm pretty sure he is), he'd still make an excellent friend.

I'm not naively thinking that he is perfect, either. He's human, after all. But after spending a lot more time with him, I have come to know him a little bit better and really enjoy hanging out with him. Yes, the teeth bother me, as they're not just crooked... But he does have medical aid, so hopefully he'll come to use it in time.

kisses

[Bsig84]

Just wanted to give an update on Mr Teeth. I think his teeth might be the only bad side to him...wowie. I can't believe I almost shunned him based solely on his (really bad) teeth.

He's a great kisser. He reads so much! He enjoys the outdoors, loves going out for coffee, et cetera. He thinks I'm so very sexy! He thinks for himself.

I'm falling for him big time, ladies and gents. And I think (I hope) he's also falling for me. Let's hope. And even if he isn't (though I'm pretty sure he is), he'd still make an excellent friend.

I'm not naively thinking that he is perfect, either. He's human, after all. But after spending a lot more time with him, I have come to know him a little bit better and really enjoy hanging out with him. Yes, the teeth bother me, as they're not just crooked... But he does have medical aid, so hopefully he'll come to use it in time.

kisses

Awwww Im so happy for you!!!!! I love the beginnings of a relationship when everything is new and exciting! Enjoy it! Good luck with him!

[bluup10]

Awwww Im so happy for you!!!!! I love the beginnings of a relationship when everything is new and exciting! Enjoy it! Good luck with him!

Thank you! I'm only seeing him twice this week, as he stays a hearty 45 min drive away from me. I can't wait!

[Bsig84]

Thank you! I'm only seeing him twice this week, as he stays a hearty 45 min drive away from me. I can't wait!

I can totally relate there. My boyfriend lives about 45 minutes from me too. Luckily I work with him so we can have quick visits during the day. That can be a pain in the butt but it will be totally worth it if you guys really like each other. Also, living kinda far away can make each time you hang out even more special because the anticipation builds. Thats what I keep telling myself anyways.