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MaryDunne
12-10-2007, 12:27 PM
you get (sort of) rejected by someone who is no good for you anyway?

Long story short: I had a really fun and satisfying one night stand with this guy. He called the next day and wanted to get together again. I was going out of town for a week, so we did not see each other again until 2 weeks after the first encounter. The second encounter sucked:

1) He talked about himself the entire time. Topics ranged from all the money he has made, how close he once came to making a million dollars, cool stuff he bought with his money, all the women he has slept with, the women who wanted to sleep with him but whom he turned down, what a great cook he is [despite the crappy dinner that he actually made for me that night], and just generally how amazing of a guy he is.

2) He drank an entire bottle of wine by himself over dinner. I am a non-drinker so I’m not sure, but it seemed like a lot.

3) When it came to hitting the sheets, he proposed all kinds of, er, unconventional activities (some gross and definitely involving unsafe practices), and every time I said no, he’d just suggest another one. He got kind of impatient and cranky when he figured out that I really and truly wasn’t game for any of them. I suspect that he has been exposed to WAY too much Internet p**n and doesn’t quite understand that it’s not real.

4) He was far less interested in making sure I had fun than the first time.

Now, I thought I had done a pretty good job of keeping it clear in my head that it was just a fling. I think the oxytocin got the upper hand in the morning when I allowed myself to attempt some spooning. (Staying over was his idea; I stayed only because I was exhausted and it was a cold night.) He suggested going somewhere for breakfast but I opted just to go home. He dropped me off at my place and that was that.

Ugh. I KNOW this guy is bad news and has a kajillion red flags but even so… I’m kind of disappointed that he hasn’t called me. I keep wanting to call him, thinking I can somehow get some answers to what the h#ll happened. I know that’s a bad idea. It’s taking me longer to get over the fling than to have the fling itself. It’s stupid, but there it is.

Bsig84
12-10-2007, 12:51 PM
This is actually pretty common. Just because you didnt like him doesnt mean it wont hurt when he doesnt call.

That being said, you need to count your blessings. This guy sounded like a total freak! Consider yourself lucky! Dont waste your time with guys like that anymore girl! You deserve much better.

bridgetjones
12-10-2007, 07:22 PM
Sometimes a girl needs to spoon dont get all down on yourself! I like cuddling and well I miss the cuddling more than shagging really... Sounds like the spooning was better than the sex anywho...

Yeah I know the feeling since it is about your ego too you know... :p I'd rather do the rejecting than be rejected.

Otherwise good riddence I guess...

MaryDunne
12-10-2007, 09:12 PM
Thanks to you both.

The funny thing is, I just feel rejected. The way things played out, it's accurate to say that neither of us outright rejected the other. The whole thing just sort of lost momentum - which makes perfect sense really, given the quality of the experience!

And honestly, if someone even marginally better came along, I would forget about Mr. Porn like that. You know how you tend to get hung up on the most recent guy, regardless of his actual merits?

Taking it day by day here...

bridgetjones
12-11-2007, 01:13 AM
Yep been there am going thru it! You even have a clever nickname for the bugger good for you! :)

As a sidenote I am surprised the guy was able to "get it up" after a bottle of wine... Self absorbed and an alkie. Nice. I drink and that amount would put me to sleep not arouse me! But that is all in the past...

SSCorwyn
12-17-2007, 02:05 PM
I'm totally right there with you, Mary!

I got rejected/dumped by someone who is clearly not good for me, and we've been apart longer than we were together...and I'm still working through it.

To sit back and think, "I'm not good enough for *this* trainwreck? WTF?!" Is a headtrip, to be sure.

Hopefully by now you're completely over the loser and on to greener pastures. :)