San Diego / L.A.

[Rootman]

If any place on Earth needs a .25 life crisis support group, it's southern california. Man, are people messed up out here! So concerned with status, possessions, money, and all searching for themselves.

[Unregistered]

Hee hee...
That's true. I never pictured myself still living here at 25, but well, of all places in the world I could *imagine* myself living in, I am here now! ...in So. Cal. ...while many people whom I've known in the past, have left... Suburban Southern California is a place where it's difficult to see the past (history) in the surroundings and in the local culture. Only the present counts. For that reason, it's difficult for me to see my future here. Many people do like living here, however, so I sometimes think I might simply be a boring malcontent.

[Jadwin]

Here's how I feel about LA: It was such a leap of faith to come here that it makes it difficult to think about getting out, especially in a crappy economy. It's such a big and lonely town. I'd really be interested in getting something together. There has to be a lot of us down here...

[Unregistered]

Yes, SoCal has tons of crazy people. I'm from the East Coast and I've been in SD for a couple of years. I find the people here to be really materialistic and not down to earth. It is hard not to try to keep up with the Jones here. It is really frustrating to try to be a professional here too because of the sudden population growth. And don't get me started on how expensive the houses are! But, I am here for grad school and will probably end up living here despite these facts because of my significant other (and the weather! and because it is far from my family and other problems). I don't know if that is so great but I doubt that life is any better anywhere else. This age is great and it sucks!

[Mariem]

Hi Everyone,

I'm a 25 year old from Boston. I lived in NYC for a year and now I'm back in Boston. For almost a year, I've been thinking of moving to LA. I've only been there twice, but I really like it: the weather, the laid-back atmosphere. I want to try working as a adolescent counselor (I'm in finance now ) and there seems to be a lot of opportunity in the LA area. Although I'd make less money, I'd be doing work that's very interesting to me and trying out a new place. And I could waitress a few times a week to make ends meet.

Any advice or opinions?

I enjoy my time in NYC but I knew it wasn't for me: too fast-paced, too many people, etc. My family is all in Boston and I know I would miss them terribly. Also it takes me awhile to open up to people so it takes me a long time to make friends but the ones I have are very valuable to me. I think it would be exciting to live somewhere on my own, to figure out myself without so much input from my family. But I'm afraid of being lonely out there. What if I can't make friends? Also, when I lived in NYC, I lived with relatives. I don't know anyone in LA so I would be totally alone. I'm thinking of going out West after buying a new car (I'm saving for it right now). If I go, I promised myself I would give it a year and if I was still homesick, I would move back to Boston. What do you guys think?

Thanks! :)

[Danni]

Is it me, or is this the most unfriendliest town in the country?

I've tried the night life out here and even the bars that claim to be "snob-free" and far from it. I went to college on the East Coast and I miss "real people." I know that not everyone in this town is a status-seeking social climber, or wanna be model or actress, but I don't know where they're hiding!

[Unregistered]

I'm from the midwest and moved out to SD 2 years ago. I feel like I went back to high school-a bunch of ecstatic wanna be's. All people want to talk about is money- Having other east coast people out here is a plus. A lot of "locals" have parents that help them pay their bills, or they live with they're parents (at 23 adn up) and buy really nice cars, clothes, etc.
And to be honest with you, they don't look better than anyone else, just artificial- little personality. I have a job and little cash- when I get the chance I will try to move back.

[Unregistered]

So happy to have read how you all are feeling. I just moved here from the east coast (grew up in Boston, went to school in NYC) in October. The only (kind of) friends I've met are from the east and I feel like I can pick them out in the crowd. Why can't anyone here say hello, or make eye contact? I've never had a problem making friends, but I feel like I've thrown up all my self-esteem in an attempt to be thin. I'm speaking figuratively, but out here who knows? I've always felt secure and confident, but now I find myself constantly comparing myself to anyone else who walks by. The weird thing is, I do kind of like it here. Maybe it's true what they say about the sun making people happy.

[sunbear]

Oh my God it seems as if everyone and their grandmothers just packed up and headed for the west coast! Now that it has gotten warmer, it's getting really crowded out here.
Forbes Magazine just rated San Diego of ALL places as their #1 place to do business. Orange County is close behind.
I've noticed that the Carmel Valley Ranch, by Sorrento Valley -which is north of San Diego has grown like crazy. It used to be this canyon wilderness place with rattlesnakes, jackrabbits, and probably coyotes only a year ago and now it's business after business, hotels and resturants.

:0)

[Unregistered]

Thanks for the good advice. I keep hearing about all these opportunities, I guess it's time to get out there and take advantage!

[Rachel]

I grew up in LA (yeah I'm a valley girl) and went to school in San Diego, well La Jolla to be exact. Now im in New York for a year and I'm heading back to good ole CA as soon as I can! I miss the laid-back atmosphere, perfect weather, amazing natural beauty, and nice nice people so much. People here in NY are just plain rude! Yeah *some* people in so cal can be materialistic but thats better than people who want to trample you down to the ground. The trick is to find the cool people (there are plenty out there) and you just laugh at the JAPy prada-carrying materialistic people. And c'mon, materialism? You cant say that doesn't exist on the east coast. I've lived on Long Island for a year! But I think that the most important thing wherever you live is your friends, family, and social network. That is what I miss most about home.

[SHOOQUEEN]

Hey Im from Orange County but I've been in Houston for a long while (long enough to have a drawl and be considered "country")
...if you know what i mean)....hmmmmmmmmm...should I be making my way back West?? But the cost of living there is really really high! A friend that I went to college with (here in Texas) moved out there and he can only afford a "bachelor" aka efficiency..and that is 600.00 a month. I dont know if anyone knows but here in Houston you can get a nice nice one bedroom in the nice area for 600.00 a mo. I love Cali and want to go back but I want to be able to buy shoes too! So, if anyone is out there and lives there..what's the secret...no food, no shoes, no car, and prostitution? ohh and..im a valley girl too.....a black one...which makes communication here in TEXAS very interesting!
They get a kick out of me here when I open my mouth and when I call fam back in Cali, Im so country to them....it's kinda funny though.

[sunbear]

No Texas for me thank you. The sunbear likes to take her naps in the sun- not the heat. Actually the way a lot of people are living down here is by rooming together. A lot of people feel as if they're forced to live with strangers...
It also seems as if people drive themselves crazy trying to afford things. And then again, there's always good old Mexico too.

[Unregistered]

This is mostly for Rachel, but of course, I'd like to hear what the rest of you think... I guess it really does depend where you are from and what you are accoustomed to. I have met nice, non-materialistic so-californians, didn't mean to imply there weren't any! I think what the east coasters are always complaining about is that people here don't seem as, i guess the right word would be straight forward. I've heard from people who've been living done here for awhile that it's because us east coasters are always leaving, so they figure there is no sense getting too attached. Does that sound right to you?

[love jenn]

Originally posted by Jadwin
Here's how I feel about LA: It was such a leap of faith to come here that it makes it difficult to think about getting out, especially in a crappy economy. It's such a big and lonely town. I'd really be interested in getting something together. There has to be a lot of us down here...
I moved to LA last year from Virginia. I've only got a few friends. One I met on the job and he moved to LA the same time I did from the MidWest. The others are part of another group that I belong to and we were friends before they moved here. I've never really been one to go to bars or clubs and I really haven't seen anyone in my classes that I would be interested in even hanging out with. I worked so hard to get here and I really like my life, but I just wish there was more.

[Hanni]

Don't really know if this is still up and running, but I figured I could add my two bits worth.
First of all being a Californian who has traveled considerably around the world let me admit that many Californians are self-posessed and materialistic. However, there are dozens upon dozens out there who aren't. We stick to non-materialistic establishments (say pubs and non-LA-esque towns,) and we're friendly and fun.
Secondly, having lived 6 years in San Diego I also agree that it has changed a lot. Though the surfing community and international community have a lot to offer. It takes a bit of searching, but I can guarantee bliss.
Thirdly, anyone searching for some good fun and friendliness in SoCal look no further. It's right there in front of you if you give it a chance. For those in San Diego check out the Field downtown for a good time to let loose.
Still looking? Let me know...

[Rootman]

I've been living in SoCal since 1994. I've moved all over the place, but not as far north as L.A., though I have many friends there and have spent a lot of time in the city (unfortunately). SoCal has only 2 good points as I see it: 1. The weather is mostly perfect. 2. It's very pretty (beaches, palm trees, lotso landscaping, mountains, ocean, etc.) If you're into outdoor things like scuba, surfing, backpacking, etc., it's a great place, but losing ground fast due to the following bad points: The cost of living is ridiculus. Forget buying a house unless you're in the top 10% of income earners in the nation (average new family home price in San Diego county now exceeds 350K!!!). Apartment prices are also very high, unless you have pretty low standards. For comparison, a nice, safe, pretty, 2 bed 2 bath apartment in Pensacola, Florida ran me $650/mo last year. Same type of place back in SD goes for $1500!! Developers are building everywhere, and you've got to drive quite a distance east to get out of the city. Traffic really sucks, too, and it's getting worse (it took me 4 hours to get back to SD from LA today). My biggest beef is the crowding, and the fact that people are so inconsiderate (probably not a phenomenon localized to SoCal). I'll admit to being more than a little introverted, and I like wide open spaces and being outdoors with no people around. I also like going to quieter, less crowded night clubs and such. Such places are increasingly hard to find in SoCal, and almost impossible to find in LA. I find SoCal very frustrating because it HAD so much potential, and it's slipping away to become just like San Francisco. If your idea of an ideal weekend is expensive restaurants, crowded, over-priced malls, congested clubs, trendy coffee houses, and theaters packed with irritating people, then you'll like SoCal a lot. If your ideal weekend is surfing without hostile people floating everywhere, spending time on a quiet beach without people throwing trash everywhere, not waiting in line for an hour to eat at a nice place, or watching a flick without the jerk behind you putting his feet on the back of your seat, you won't like SoCal. If you just want to work here and escape to the mountains, desert, or deep ocean, it'll frustrate you to no end. Yeah, I'm bitter, but I'm also moving across the country very soon and will feel better then. Maybe, if I hadn't been here since '94, and seen the place before so many more people moved here (and it's a really noticeable difference, no doubt), I would think this place is great as it is, though I really doubt it. Really consider why you want to move out here. Can you get it and live somewhere less expensive? What is really important to you? Overall, I think SoCal is a place for the young, party crowd, and the wealthy, older crowd. For what it's worth, my $0.02. Good luck.

[sunbear]

Hi Krazykat,
I wrote this before but I think it belongs in this thread-
I've taken the plunge to socal and I'm going on 3 years. I actually live in San Diego, but am somewhat familiar with LA. Are you going with a college degree? What are you going for- just for something different? I did a lot of my growing up in Ohio, went to a big ten college, Socal in general let me down. I've been also able to visit several times while growing up. Unfortunately, I've seen in the past that LA has much better potential- was a MUCH nicer place to live. There is A LOT to adjust to, depending on where you're from and what you're looking for. There is still fun, beaches, rock and roll, majorly decent shopping but only curved sticks as far as the hockey team is concerned.
I've seen a lot of sun out here. My first LA traffic experience was that I was the ONLY one in traffic with nothing else to do but drive. Also, the definition of "hell" is being stuck in LA traffic with a bad urge to go to the bathroom.
As a rule, never go south on a Friday night and never drive north on the freeway on a Sunday night. There's a mexican population that makes it's mass exidus home for the weekends.
And definately get a map of the city- or a gps system or something.
Mass transit sucks in Socal, but is really good in the bay area and northern Cali.
The other huge issue with the city is know what part you are going to go to. There are so many parts of LA/OC where (ie. DUV or gov office) where you would actually get around at all if you knew spanish- no kidding and this is america too. Downey California in Orange County is a perfect example. Hollywood is also very primarily multiethnical.
***Hollywood Blvd IS and I repeat IS a ghetto/jungle. Take a big person with you and drive with the doors locked. It looks nice on tv, but tv uses special effects. IT isn't a safe area-
All of the big movie star events take place in Santa Monica, Beverly hills, etc.-***
And for me it was sometimes strange because I would ask a person a question, and thought they were being rude- until I found out that they only spoke another language. Santa Monica, Santa Barbara, Studio City, Manhattan/Hermando Beach, Newport Beach, Irvine, Malibu are all in my opinion decent places to live. They're safer, they cater to young adults and expose to people our age, esp. if there's a college in the area. Good area to start meeting people.
And my last warning, get used to not having as much disposable income, rent can get expensive. Something to be prepared for, not only for small towners like us but people from any other town/city. Good budgeting is highly encouraged.
The one thing that is great about LA is that there is usually a strong job market for most things, stronger than in most places. If you start at a temp agency- accounting, in my experience they found me a starting position in two weeks. And there is resturant work, shops, etc.
But anyways, good luck with what you end up deciding to do. If you don't take the plunge into the unknown, there's always an easy place to go for a fun adventure/vacation!

[sunbear]

Hi Rootman,
I took a hiatus to San Francisco two weeks ago. To be honest with you, not being able to leave socal for 2 years straight, I felt so free there. Such as Bart.... no taxi, no parking costs, no traffic jams. It kept me from getting too stressed to enjoy myself. I loved it. The fact that they have mass transit made it so easy to get around. People were very friendly. Knowing how socal can be, esp. this "tourists suck" additude, I really appreciated the locals being good to me, the most obvious tourist. People would let me annoy them with questions about how not to get lost, etc. I really needed a healthy distraction and I got it, only spending $$ on transit and a few clothes. Shopping was pretty decent. Being from the midwest, I really missed that green- there really isn't enough of it down here. I thought it wasn't nearly as ghetto as LA- and they had a warm additude to different cultures/ethnics and a playful, creative energy. It does overmarket itself though- but so does everywhere else. I would say I enjoyed it so much more than socal, if I could finance it I would move there now.:p

[sunbear]

Hi Krazykat,
if you're only in Idaho, maybe you should go visit Cali. Esp. in San Diego, a lot of the hotels are cheap. Or even do this in Las Vegas. Taking trips sometimes is a much easier/convienient/affordable option to moving.
But here's something you really want to consider before moving anywhere, more so than the cost of living. Is there a job market- usually in better times for what you're doing. Not kidding. Many times things have a way of working out. My sis moved out to Cali only because school was cheap for her to get her certification in graphic designs. She prefers Ohio to socal- believe it or not. I know that San Francisco is the financial capital of the west coast- they adjust the wages somewhat to comply with the cost of living up there. I have a bachelors' and my series 7 and 63 licences- my last job was a stockbroker. If there was a better job market, I know my CAREER opportunities are more abundant to branch off of my experience- not like San Diego.
Seriously, something to really consider. Down here in SD, its tech, bio, military,tourism, med (all the retired people), real estate, and mortgage. Thats it- :(

[weslarson]

Ok...this has nothing to do with California or Idaho. But I had a GREAT experience of just uprooting and moving to Dallas, Texas area. Dallas is a very happenin' city. Lots to do there, and, at least when I was there, lots of tech jobs. (I only looked for tech jobs, since that's what I know...) Expenses are pretty low there, and pay was pretty decent. I had a great experience there. And, in fact, I met my wife there.

Up and moving everything I owned was one of the best things I ever did.

[midlifestrife]

Originally posted by Rootman
If any place on Earth needs a .25 life crisis support group, it's southern california. Man, are people messed up out here! So concerned with status, possessions, money, and all searching for themselves.

very true and I entirely agree. ;)

I admit to guilt that I have those concerns and am in need of help. :p


In all honesty have you thought about why southern californians are like that? If you try to understand why and actually grew up here, you'd know and understand. Within different parts of the world, and different regions among the states, people live different lifestyles and follow the culture/trend around them in what they observe daily. LA/Southern Cali has it's own set of culture and values, they prize material things and priortize it, ie. nice home, car, clothing etc. Face it, it's a disease, if everyone around you and all your friends are getting it, you would want it too. It's kinda like this, to get by LA traffic you have to adapt to it's aggressive style, if you don't follow it, you'd be left behind, always waiting for your turn and left on the curb (literally speaking).

[cheetah]

I feel very differently about SoCal. I grew up here, but ahve traveled a lot, and I feel like SoCal is the only place where I can say what I want and dress like I want and not be judged. I feel like the MidWest and South are the worst. Especially if you are a woman. If you aren't wearing the right jewelry or if you say what you really mean, you are cast out! In San Diego, I wear my old flip flops and jeans to the bars! It's so what I need, esp. to relax after having to "play my part" at work all day. I just need to not feel like people are also judging what I wear to brunch or to the game or whatever. I dress appropriately, but would never expect to be judged for my accessories and such, as in the South or MidWest.

SoCal has its bad points for sure. Expensive housing, bad public transportation, traffic, too many people. People say it's hard to meet people, but I haven't had a problem. The one thing that keeps me here for sure is the weather. I have actually been ill from the heat and humidity in Texas and Maine (on separate occassions) and I can't imagine having to wake up a half hour early to shovel my driveway. We are spoiled with the weather. It is great and that probably causes many of the problems I listed above!

[ewop]

Hi to all!

While I agree with many of the complaints posted here about southern cali...esp. LA...I wanted to add a few positive notes. Yes, it's materialistic out here, but so is the rest of the US! And yes the traffic sucks...but have you driven in Boston, Atlanta or Chicago lately? I'm not trying to be a Pollyana, but I think there are so many positive things about southern Cali, and venting about the negative aspects is just a part of life. Everything is what you make it, and in my opinion, I'll take the traffic and other negative aspects anyday over Illinois winters, Arizona summers, and Southern racism!

I've been lucky enough to have lived all over and it's made me realize that people are the same everywhere...it's all in your perspective.:razz:

[smashmars]

Hi I am new:),

Cal is a wonderful place to live I tried living in NC-Greensboro but found I was not a back east kind of girl. To make a story short, I moved back to finish my undergrad here and found my wonderful husband and I am now married :)

To those thinking of moving west I say try it if it works Great if not then go home, but keep in mind that one can never really back home

[abby]

A reporter for KTLA is looking for quarterlifers to interview about their qlc-related experiences. If you are interested please send an email to KRouggie@tribune.com
Thanks!