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View Full Version : UPDATE: Engagement Called Off??!!


robinhood2003
02-10-2008, 05:36 PM
Ok....here's an update to that thread:

Well, this past weekend, I went to OH to see if my fiance and I can patch things up.....she wasn't receptive to many things.....I asked if she would rather me stay at a hotel....and she said, "it's up to you".....

....I took our to dinner (and paid for both)....went to the movies.....then I asked her that question....so why are you wearing my engagement ring if you're not sure? By you wearing that ring, you're telling everyone that you're committed......

.....then we get into this big drawn out argument with her crying and I'm crying.....then I storm out of the car......then she drives and leaves me stranded for almost seven hours....the mall was closing, I had to walk to her apartment bldg......she came back home drunk......my phone died so that I couldn't get a cab.....no where to go.....

...we get into her apt....I pour out my feelings...she then tells me that she is physically attracted to this guy that is married and having kids with another woman.....and the only reason why is b/c he said that she's sexy......and then she tells me that I should more experimentive in the bedroom like we use to (no...it's not threesomes or anything like that).....alot of different positions, etc....

....so we end up making love......then this morning we wake up....I missed my flight to get back to Miami for a business trip.......luckily I was able to get another flight.......then on the way to the airport...we get into another arguement b/c she took back all that she said last night....I told her that I felt used....I told her that it's not just sex....it's more than that.....I told her that if she wants to end our relationship of 8 years with no friendship...to keep this attitude.....then she keeps going back and forth......telling me that she is willing to try.....or that she doesn't want to try.....then when we get to the airport....I told her that if she doesn't want to try to give me back the ring...she refuses.....I keep asking her...and she gets into a fit.....and then she finally gives me the ring and leaves......

....and I still love her.....am I wrong to think that....or is it that I don't want to face that it's over.....? Now the worse part...is that I can't return the ring back to the jewler b/c I passed the return policy......so now what?

......I'm sooo heart broken over this......

....any advice?

wordsmith
02-10-2008, 05:41 PM
Run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Seriously.

There are women who don't do this.

winneythepooh7
02-10-2008, 06:07 PM
Oh man. Sorry that you are going through this. But from what you've written, she has serious issues. Even if you get back with her, sounds like they aren't going to go away if she doesn't get herself some serious therapy.

Maybe you can sell the ring or give it to your mom or someone to make into a nice pendant.

Krishna
02-10-2008, 07:03 PM
Lots of jewelry stores will buy back jewelry if you are going to "upgrade" to a bigger or better piece. So, I say throw the ring into a safety deposit box for a while, maybe, and then when you are ready, either sell the thing off, or "upgrade" at the store...

Sorry you're going through this. :(

Carmi
02-11-2008, 05:15 AM
I second that - dont worry about the ring - keep your sanity instead. Its worth more.

And sure you still love her (8 years is a long time) - it wont fade in an instant - but in time - it will pass. Focus on doing some stuff you've always wanted to but never got around to (better yet - pawn the ring and go on a crazy trip :) - And above all remember to be kind to yourself

Rage
02-13-2008, 04:08 PM
Run awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Seriously.

There are women who don't do this.


You're better off without her - she's a fruit. It will hurt at first, but there are people out there who will love you. If you already have issues before you're married, you're never going to make it. Take some time, take a breath, and move on.

By the way, I would avoid a friendship - this chick is bad news and it's only going to prolong your misery.

JackieB
02-14-2008, 02:48 PM
I totally understand still loving her... you can't just hit an off button for that. It takes a while to get over someone. Right now, she isn't treating you right, though. I think the best thing for you would be not to see her for a while. She needs to work things out for herself... but it's hurting you to have to see someone you love go back and forth about her feelings for you.

This is probably a really hard time - I hope you're doing okay.

internut33
02-14-2008, 03:33 PM
How old is this gal? Seems a bit loony. Love hurts. It lessens in time apart. Would deff stop any contact for a while.

ERitchie
02-15-2008, 10:58 AM
I understand still loving her, but holy crap she sounds like a sociopath.