Wedding Gift Question

[TinyDancer]

So. . . I know this is somewhat subjective, but I want opinions.

I have friends that I haven't seen in three years but that I talk to via email that are getting married. I wasn't invited, but mostly I think, because it's a destination wedding. I was going to send a $30 gift card. Under the circumstances, is that seen as being cheap? Would I be better off to send nothing at all?

I have more questions about gift amounts, but I don't want to start a money riot. . . so I will keep them to myself. This one, I'm curious about though.

Thanks!

[wordsmith]

You're not obligated to send anything at all. It's fine.

[winneythepooh7]

I think that is totally appropriate. And IMHO, you give what you can afford, if anything.

The fact that you are not going and still planning to give something is going above and beyond IMHO.

My husband and I got a bunch of gift cards between the showers and the wedding, so I have them locked up in our safe, just waiting till we move into our new house and need something that we don't have at the moment.

[TinyDancer]

Okay, I'm sending it. . .

You know, I don't know why I'm even thinking about this. These are not the type of friends that would judge. . . they would be happy that I thought of them. Hell, generally I wouldn't even *be* friends with anyone that would judge!

I just wanted to know if when you got little gift cards, you thought. . . oh whoop-tee-doo. . . $30. :rolleyes:

I know *I* wouldn't feel this way. . . but I didn't know if there's a status quo gift amounts for weddings??? As many as I go to. . . the amount I give varies greatly.

Thanks. . .

[asm198]

I'd get them the gift card at either a place where they are registered (if they've done that) or a place that's fairly common for shopping like Target. That way, they can use your gift card in addition to others if they find something bigger that they want to buy.

ETA: I think that $30 is a good amount, btw.

[ebruening]

I think it's super generous that you're giving them a gift. I'd second the "give what you can afford to give" comment.

[TinyDancer]

asm. . . yep, the card is from Target. :) I always do Target or Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Two stores where I can *EASILY* spend money. . . You know, when you go to Target for ONE thing and and up with ten. . . or go to BB&B to get a dishtowel and walk away with pans, a pillow, a slicing gadget, a candle, etc., etc., etc. :)

Thanks for the advice, everyone.

[k.monster]

When I got married last summer we got a bunch of little gift cards and they add up FAST! We actually ended up getting an 4" deep above ground pool that was marked WAY down with our cards. There is no way we would have bought that without the cards - it just seemed like a good way to sort of spoil ourselves.

[allie1105]

Since you weren't invited and haven't seen the person in years, I think you are being very generous and the gift card will be very much appreciated. If you were invited and did not go, I would send between $50-100. If I go to a wedding and bring a date, I give $200. I usually feel that $100/head is appropriate given the amount that is spent on a wedding...I think you should at least cover your plate.