Sexual Harassment

[Melissa1979]

I work a seasonal part-time job at a racetrack. I more or less, keep to myself and do my job. I don't really socialize with everyone, only those I work directly with. I don't see all of the others that often..

In October of last year, we held our last event. An older guy, 40's to 50's approached me saying that he was organizing a ski trip for the entire staff and asked if I would be interested. I said sure. This would finally give me the opportunity to get to know everyone. He asked for my contact information which I assumed was pretty innocent. I knew that he had a wife (at the time- now ex-wife) and children. Plus, he was gathering everyone's contact information to keep everyone up to date and informed on the time, place..etc.

Early January I heard from him. He called me often and would keep me on the phone for hours talking about himself. I tried my best to hang up as fast as I could. When I did, he would tell me "I have a lot of pull at the track. Management listens to me and if I don't like something, it won't be there." I viewed this as more or less a warning that if I didn't cooperate, he would do I don't know what..

Eventually his calls became more numerous and bothersome. He would say things to me such as "You look great in a pair of pants.. blah blah blah." I would get offended and he would say "But I flirt with all of he girls. They like it." I told him that I wanted to be treated no differently then the other women and he said "But your not like the others. I worry about you. I'm your friend." :rolleyes:

Recently, he contacted me and said he was passing through my town and wanted to meet for lunch. I told him no. I talked to my boyfriend about this and he emailed him a long letter essentially telling him that his actions towards me are inappropriate.

Now I'm worried that this guy is pissed off and will seek to destroy me now that my boyfriend & I have laid down the law. He knows I'm vulnerable at work-- I'm quiet and again, I don't know these people as well as he does. I don't know what to do. I plan on leaving this job in a few weeks but I would like to return to watch a race or two. I don't want this guy haunting me.

His friend is the EMS Manager and is pretty level headed. Should I email him?

What should I do?

[Krishna]

I hate to say it, but you screwed up a bit by not documenting everything right away. In the future, keep a solid log of everything someone does, and report it immediately to supervisors.

Having said that, report it now. Better late than never.

[Melissa1979]

I have a few of his emails..

Do I tell my boss even though I'm quiting in two to three weeks? How do I say this?:0

[koolkat1980]

Well....there are pros and cons in your situation.

1) it's easy to just approach your boss and lodge the complaint - now that you are leaving.
2) however, it may be more trouble than what it's worth - if he has any existing complaints... you might have to make more statements and hang around more.
3) Another question is: Does he have anything on you? If so, I wouldn't bother with filing the complaint.
4) Even if he gets convicted and charged will it kill him? :rolleyes: Is it really worth the trouble since you are leaving anyway?

How has this man reacted to the letter your boyfriend sent him? At least something was said to him about it, rather than nothing.

[Melissa1979]

This person has no information on me. I'm an honest worker. I take full responsibility for any and all mistakes I make.

At the end of the email my boyfriend at send, he (bf) clearly stated that he was terminating all contact until this situation resolves itself in a respectful manner.

[koolkat1980]

How has the accused reacted? Or has he said anything since the letter?

[Mini14]

Wow that really sucks.. no-one has any right to treat another person that way! :( I really think you should report this to your boss!

Is there anyone who you can talk to about what your rights and options are in this situation e.g. a union or anything?

Personally I'd suggest as a starting point to tell your boss what's been happening, in confidence. Since you're leaving anyway you wouldn't have to take it any further after that if you decided you didn't want to (I think?).. but at the very least your boss would be aware that this completely unacceptable behaviour has been occurring... It's possible that this guy has done or will do the same thing to someone else!

The fact that he is threatening you and feels the need to show off about how much "pull" he has at the track indicates that he's clearly a complete wanker... and it would be pretty hard for him to pretend otherwise 100% of the time, so it's possible that a lot of other people where you work privately think he's a complete idiot too. Maybe they are even looking for an excuse to get rid of him!

Good luck anyway I hope you can sort something out!

[Melissa1979]

How has the accused reacted? Or has he said anything since the letter?


He cannot email me, well he can but it will be automatically deleted. He hasn't tried calling me. Although I did receive a call yesterday from a "private number." I had my older brother answer it but the person on the other line (possibly him) hung up.

Should I email his friend, our EMS Manager? He's decent but I don't know what would come of it.

[Marie]

I kind of agree with koolkat you have a lot of different options to choose from and in the end it's pretty much your choice on what you decide to do.


My ex boss was a total perv. and the only people that we could lodge a complaint against him was his friends, co-owners of the business, we didn't have human resources. Anytime he would be around a female coworker he would go up to them and start rubbing their arms and sometimes he would just sneak up on you and rub your arms. He used to call me in his office at the end of the day and close the door and go over my day's work and while I was doing all of that he would be staring at my chest the entire time. He was also possessive of the female coworkers working with male clients. I remember when I was with a male client discussing community resources he started screaming at me in front of the client saying I don't want you seeing him (like we were dating) I am going to give him to a male. He took the papers out of my hand and realized he made a mistake and tried to play it off in the meeting afterwards, congratulating me for giving the client those community resources. Which was stupid, I ended up quitting and someone else ended up turning him into the EEOC.

In the end you have to be the one to decide how far you want to take it. Even if you do report it they might not do anything and he still might contact you. After that warning, it might go even further to the equal employment opportunity commission.

[koolkat1980]

Should I email his friend, our EMS Manager? He's decent but I don't know what would come of it.

My only concern is, if the EMS manager is friends with the accused - he's likely to 'brush' your allegations off! (Are they CLOSE friends?) Especially if the EMS manager is a bloke! (Boy's club thing).

You might be deemed just an 'over emotional sheila' otherwise.

Besides..now that they know your going - they might not bother being too serious about it and could just make it out that the accused is just engaging in 'harmless banter!'

Go by what your intuition says I suppose! :rolleyes: It could be more trouble than what it's worth.