Why do some people behave like this?

[MLMaestro]

Hey all,

As some of you here probably know, I am 24 this year and currently single. So I signed up for some dating websites and decided to attend one of their activities this coming weekend, just to see how is it like as I have not been to one before. My main purpose in signing up for these websites is that I can see that when I graduate, my life would be mainly about career and there would be limited chances to socialize, or even finding 'the one', so I decided to start taking action to prevent that problem from becoming too severe.

However, when a friend of mine know about this through our conversation, she remarked that: "I didn't know you were so desperate." (she is engaged by the way). I have to say, I am disappointed and slightly peeved by the comment. Why on earth does she think that singles do not have the right to seek new avenues, to socialize, or even try to find a partner? Does she think that us singles have to always hang on to their coattails, or just sit down and patiently wait for 'the one' to drop down from the sky? I don't understand why some people have to chastise singles like this.

Can somebody explain/enlighten me on this? Thanks.

[roulettefanatic]

i can totally understand, i'm gonna be 24 this year too and lol, i actually just joined a dating website myself.....nobody called me desperate in my attempts to find a date but i think the comment by your friend is a bit rude....it's easy for her to say because she's engaged and maybe before she was engaged she had plenty of dating opportunities because she's outgoing, good-looking, or a little bit of both, i don't know.....but people who aren't very easy-going and have trouble with small talk and stuff like that are better off on dating websites because it gives you a chance to sort of "break out" of a shell....if you practice how to talk and learn about people's various interests, you will get better at it in the person-to-person communication....but i don't know, regardless of what i actually thought, i would just say, "good for you, i hope you have some luck with it" or something like that....i'm not saying your friend is a bad person at all, but maybe some people don't know what to say so things come out of their mouths that aren't very nice sometimes.....

[koolkat1980]

I'd say she just let it slip without being aware - she probably is such on a high with her own engagement she let that one slip without thinking.

Man, I feel sorry for her husband to be - lets hope he's not a sensitive type! :p

Sheez, just because you join a dating site doesn't mean your desperate! It's just another avenue for meeting people?

I've joined a few myself...but totally gave up. Hehe! I'm happily single now! Life is nice and simple!

[Mini14]

I reckon good on you for signing up to the website! (I just signed up to one last night :)) I think your friend probably doesn't understand how difficult it can be to meet people, because she's been lucky enough to meet someone. Still it's a pretty insensitive thing to say, I think there's a lot of people around who still have that attitude unfortunately (where I live anyway), but it's slowly changing. Hopefully she will realise one day!

I know a few people who have met their partners through dating websites (and one of them is now married), none of them are people I would ever describe as desperate!

[MLMaestro]

Haha thanks to all! Yup she is probably on a high that she did not show too much regard to others' feelings...and yup, it indeed is difficult to meet new people, as most of my friends have their own things to do and their own clique as well, so I am pretty much alone unless someone organizes an outing or something (I am not too proactive myself, so I don't usually organize outings). Thus looking out for online communities looks to be a viable way to go. Haha.

[vinsanity]

In what way did she make that remark? teasingly? Maybe it was something else besides online dating that made her think that.


My main purpose in signing up for these websites is that I can see that when I graduate, my life would be mainly about career and there would be limited chances to socialize, or even finding 'the one', so I decided to start taking action to prevent that problem from becoming too severe.


Meh. I don't really see it as a "problem". At least not one you should get worried about. I have no problem being single as long as I don't end up being "the old guy" at the club trying to hook up with younger girls.

[ugarachel82]

I say good for you for signing up for the dating websites myself! I think that online dating still has a huge stigma attached to it from the general public eye but it's up to people like you and me to change this! I admit that I felt a little awkward and ashamed when I started to post profiles of myself and public dating sites as well, but the more I enter this world the more I believe it's just one more way to meet people you ordinarily would miss in the world. Don't worry about what your (IMHO) pretty judgmental friend shot back at you. What does she know? She's already found the person for her and doesn't need any more help. You have to do what's right for you, and if that means dating online right now, that's just what it means. More power to ya. :) Good luck, and I'm sure you will keep us posted on your success!

[LilGuillermo]

dating websites are becoming more and more legit everyday, just like someone said here earlier people meet their future spouses on those things. But maybe your friend has been out of the "being single" loop for so long that she hasn't picked up on this, I don't know. I mean the last wedding I went to was for two people who met online, and even on their wedding website they made a joke about how they were introduced by the guy from e-harmony, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, so it's nothing to be ashamed of. and also it seems like you want to find a quality person, and that's always hard to find. It's like most of the people my friends date have so much baggage attached to them that I'm almost happy to be single sometimes! and getting chastised by couples for being single, been there! and the best is when couples try and make you out to be some kinda weirdo for wanting to be with someone, like you have some kind of unknown extra-terrestrial desire, lol, oh well good luck there!

[MLMaestro]

Hey Ugarachel82 and LilGuillermo, thanks for your encouragements!! :p Just what I needed most. An very aptly put as well. I'll work hard towards it, thanks!! :)