Not old enough and not young enough

[bugsy]

I have recently been pondering some reasons for my quarter life crisis and I think I have an answer. I am 26 and just feel like I'm too old or mature to be partying and acting like I did in college or my early 20's. At the same time I dont have much in common with 30 somethings, which where I live are all married and starting families. I guess I just feel in the middle of two phases of life, and dont connect with either phase now. It probable dosent help that I live in a shitty Ohio town with no friends my age because everyone leaves as soon as they finish college.

What are some of the reasons for your quarter life crisis???

[MLMaestro]

I guess quarterlife crisis can be summed up in four words: "Neither here, nor there". My main concerns are on success and relationships. I am having a very hard time meeting single ladies in the lower 20s (my previous relationships were with the 18s and the 19s), plus it doesn't help that my social circle is small and my office are full of oldie guys, that just make things more depressing. Success wise, I have yet to step out of college and so, it will take time trying to build that foundation of my career. The second point just feeds the first, if I am not successful, my dating pool will be limited.

[LilGuillermo]

what are some of my reasons you ask? well...

I'm 27, and I also feel like I'm too old to be partying it up like people in their early 20's but I also feel too young compared to people I know who are my age, like in their late 20's early 30's and what not, plus I'm the chronic single guy in a town where most of the women are either too young (a lot of guys around here go after the high schoolers) or have a lot of personal baggage (drug addicts, boyfriends who they can't get over, kids...which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but it's not what I want right now, etc...) I don't like my job, but I don't have a clue what else to do and the economy sucks so it's not like jobs are being handed out right now so I'm kinda stuck anyways, living with my parents...which can be fixed overnight but I live in an expensive town plus saving money's good, social life in general is pretty low-key, I mean I really don't get out much, and if I do anything it's usually just going over to a friends house for like a drink or two, but that's pretty much it, and in general I just don't have a clue what the hell is going on or where I'm going! :exclaim:

[oldmanwinter]

The second point just feeds the first, if I am not successful, my dating pool will be limited.
Don't worry, there is no relation. I feel I've been quite successful on the career front and yet my dating pool seems to be virtually non-existent.

[koolkat1980]

I second how everyone is feeling here! :) I honestly think 25-30 is a very awkward time. I also have friends who feel the same! Too old to be boozing and binge drinking and too young to be promoted to decent jobs. :D

At church - it is very awkward! Everyone's starting or finishing uni and are about 22-24. I'm 27 and it is strange! I feel they are very naieve and look down on me because they're all studying to be doctors, lawyers etc...and I'm in administration working. Then they ask...'do you have a boyfriend?' I swear some of them think they're so good because they usher and assist in the singing. Very naieve and self righteous methinks.

I'm just enjoying the last of my 20's whilst it lasts! I mean, you aren't gonna be in your 20's for ever. I think the peak of life is from 22-25. After that your abit over binge drinking, picking up and trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Having said all this...this is just me...I know of some people who are well into their 30's and still at it - it would seem, they never change. Hanging round in bars...getting smashed, spending loads on grog. Guys still on pot. Not a good look. :rolleyes:

[oldmanwinter]

I think the peak of life is from 22-25. After that your abit over binge drinking, picking up and trying to keep up with the Joneses.
My problem is, in part, because I'm not quite past that yet. It's just that everyone else seems to be. Even my 22 year old friends are starting to settle down. My friends that are my age have completely settled down.

As a result, because we are in different stages of our lives, I feel that I'm growing apart from my friends, which I'm finding difficult. I've been close to a lot of them for a long time.

Also, because doing that kind of stuff by yourself isn't any fun, I'm not out there getting it out of my system. And because I'm not getting it out of my system I'm not moving forward. I'm stuck in some limbo state. I think I know where I want to be, I have no idea what I need to do to achieve it.

[stephly21]

This board really spoke to me!! I am 27 and just recently have started feeling that I am too old to go out and party all the time but too young to really start a family. I am actually engaged and getting married soon but I still like to go out with my fiance and work friends and have a good time. I think I have gotten one of the titles as a party animal at my work though.

I cannot go out and drink like I used to because I just feel awful the next day, all day. So I can slowly see myself changing. I am not ready for kids yet and to settle down and not have a good time. I have this nagging feeling that I only have one life to live and I want to live it up. I have never been the type of person just to sit around and knit. Maybe that will never go away.

[Skyblade]

I think the most important thing is just to enjoy where you are now. Don't worry about where you "should" be or why you aren't doing the same things as you used to, enjoy every phase of life, you'll just end up disappointed if you expect to be somewhere at a certain age. Who cares? Do things you can do now while your single because maybe you won't be in the future. Enjoy the fact that you don't feel you have to party anymore by finding other social activities that you enjoy.

[LowCarbLife]

I think the most important thing is just to enjoy where you are now. Don't worry about where you "should" be or why you aren't doing the same things as you used to, enjoy every phase of life, you'll just end up disappointed if you expect to be somewhere at a certain age. Who cares? Do things you can do now while your single because maybe you won't be in the future. Enjoy the fact that you don't feel you have to party anymore by finding other social activities that you enjoy.

...thank you skyblade! That's exactly what I needed to hear!

[erika36]

There are a lot of reasons for my quarterlife crisis. I, like you, feel stuck in the middle. My career also stinks right now (I'm unemployed) I'm back living at home, and I still don't drive. Yeah, these are mostly things I can change, it'll just take time. So I am stuck in limbo. And yes, my social life is NIL!

[bluespoon]

exactly skyblade!

erika - yeah i have been feeling 'stuck in limbo' for a while now. i'm about to turn 25 and things are slowly starting to change for me though. sometimes it gets frustrating but you just have to take things day by day.

some other reasons for my QLC are.......frustration with the inability to be financially independent, having too many choices and not sure which way to go next, not being able to do all the things i want because i dont have enough money, fear of getting 'stuck', finding a way to live a balanced life in general......all of these things bother me more or less than others depending. however i often think this is just how life is in general and not necessarily a QLC! lol

as for the partying...its weird this past year i really didnt go out much at all, not like i did in college, etc. but these past few weeks ive been getting into partying again....but not like doing beer bongs or anything but just living up the nightlife and being with friends. i dont think i will ever feel 'too old' for that...maybe because im a city girl at heart ;):

[Optimusdinkus]

I second how everyone is feeling here! :) I honestly think 25-30 is a very awkward time. I also have friends who feel the same! Too old to be boozing and binge drinking and too young to be promoted to decent jobs. :D

At church - it is very awkward! Everyone's starting or finishing uni and are about 22-24. I'm 27 and it is strange! I feel they are very naieve and look down on me because they're all studying to be doctors, lawyers etc...and I'm in administration working. Then they ask...'do you have a boyfriend?' I swear some of them think they're so good because they usher and assist in the singing. Very naieve and self righteous methinks.

I'm just enjoying the last of my 20's whilst it lasts! I mean, you aren't gonna be in your 20's for ever. I think the peak of life is from 22-25. After that your abit over binge drinking, picking up and trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Having said all this...this is just me...I know of some people who are well into their 30's and still at it - it would seem, they never change. Hanging round in bars...getting smashed, spending loads on grog. Guys still on pot. Not a good look. :rolleyes:

That's why the best part is to laugh at their face when the relationship goes to hell (if it's caused by naive scruples, nothing serious of course!), give a taste of their own medicine imo. Less they are close friends =) Also a key word, studying to be.... if they stick with the career you should know better that it probably won't play out that way, and they get stuck with 200 grand in debt over a degree...... or they change fields. I am being a little sarcastic so take what I say with a grain of salt

[sondra_finchley]

I think my best and craziest year was 26- its been downhill since then haha :) Now im 31 and am also neither here nor there- Im not married/not interested in kids but Im not a student either. I think though that at this age Ive come to terms that "Im just me" and while there are some doubts now and then, its easier to do my own thing and not worry about what other people are thinking than in my 20s.

[moonstar0711]

I agree with another poster, this thread speaks to me because I'm in the exact same boat. The reason for my crisis has to do with everyone around me moving on and I'm still stuck at home without a decent job and still in school. I'm working toward a goal, but I keep putting pressure on myself to move on. I can't force it though. I'm caught in a tough place with growing apart from long-time friends and feeling so stuck. I feel too old to party all the time, but that never was me anyway. I also feel like my time is running out. I know so many people settled in their careers, married, owning a house. And I have none of that. On top of all of it, I suffer from depression, which makes all of this exponentially tougher on me. I've recently fallen into a lull with my mood that I haven't felt since I graduated from college the fist time around and started my quarter life crisis. I'm told that I need to live in the moment though, and that helps because I constantly beat myself up over the past and what I could have done better and the future and what I need to do to have a better one. I do have some sort of small hope and it helps to see others are going through similar things. :)