Bigman426
05-26-2008, 02:11 AM
I have known this guy for many, many years and over the past two years I have noticed that he is slowly becoming less and less pleasant to be around. I don’t mean that he is aggressive or violent, it’s more that he does not want to be around and hang out. I know we are all getting older (22) and we have obligations. I work 40 to 56 hours a week so I don’t have much time myself, and I understand that my friends are busy, but when I am free I like to do things. Now almost every time I go to see if he wants to do something its kind of like pulling teeth. I find that his entire world revolves around video games and getting him to leave the house is a challenge. He constantly complains that he wants a girlfriend, but when I go to see if he wants to go out to the bar or something so we can meet some girls he just wants to stay in. At one point last year he actually started playing world of warcraft 12 to 16 hours a day, 7 days a week for 4 months!!! All so he could get to a specific "rank" in the game. I almost stopped talking to him for that because I would have to literally yell at him over the phone to come over and when he did say he would show up he would end up sleeping through and not showing because he was so tired. Now I don’t know about you but that just seems kind of ridiculous, I would even go as far as to call him an addict for that kind of extreme. Now lately he has been better about playing that waste of time game and coming out but now it feels like he doesn’t want to be around, he just has such a lackluster personality now and it gets me mad because I just want to have fun without him moping and bringing everyone else down. Anyway that’s just the back story.
Last month was my birthday (April 26) and I managed to get the night off from work. So I called everyone and we got a little party together for that night, but when I call Eric (that’s his name) he tells me without hesitation that he can’t make it. Initially I thought he had some serious obligations to attend to so I asked why, and he tells me that he has a party up at Uconn that he already RSVP'd to so because I did not get to him in time. Right off I could smell the bs that was about to take place. We argued for a minute and I finished saying that your college buddies will understand if you can’t make it if it’s a good friend’s birthday, and that I hope he reconsiders. A couple of days later me and another friend of mine (a good one at that) finished a game of disc golf which we do 2 or 3 times a week (guess who almost never comes) and we decided to stop by his house to invite him out for dinner since we were going to eat and were in the area. As soon as we asked we started getting the "I don’t want to say no and look like and a$$ so I am going to be as vague as possible" bit. I said that if he would come out and buy me dinner I would let him off the hook if he couldn’t make the party, he just flat out said no (he has money from mommy and daddy, no excuse). I just turned around and walked away, didn’t even say bye and that is the last time I have seen him, I have been giving him the cold shoulder ever since (not that he calls me anyway) and I haven’t seen or heard from him in almost a month and now school is out so he has plenty of time. After my party which he didn’t show up for, some buds of mine started talking about him and we are all just sick of his attitude. This guy is just so absorbed into his virtual world he has no time to enjoy real life, he is 22 and a virgin (though he claims since he got a BJ 5 years ago in high school that he is not...BS) all of his other friend he doesn’t even know what they look like, (World of Warcraft buddies) and he just raids dungeons and kills giant beasts like a loser. But when he actually gets invited to a party he never thinks to invite his real life friends, he says we can’t go because these parties are invitation only parties, but the one that went on during my birthday certainly wasn't. Turns out they do this every year at Uconn and that anyone can show up. Infact a bunch of people I work with went that night and not one attends Uconn or knows anyone who attends. Now if he really had to go and he was really my friend wouldn’t he have said "I cant make your party but why don’t we party here tonight instead" If he had offered that the I wouldn't be writing this right now but he didn’t and he didn’t even apologize, he is just acting like it had never happened.
Right now I feel like he is not my friend, he is more like some guy I know, and I think if I really needed his help that he wouldn’t be there for me. My question to all of you out there is, if you had a friend like that would you really call him a friend? Do you think I can justify no longer speaking to him anymore because of his lack of effort in this friendship? Any other comments welcome as he is most likely going to see this post so really, let’s hear it. Thank you in advance for your comments and from someone who may have lost a good friend, keep your friends close.
Last month was my birthday (April 26) and I managed to get the night off from work. So I called everyone and we got a little party together for that night, but when I call Eric (that’s his name) he tells me without hesitation that he can’t make it. Initially I thought he had some serious obligations to attend to so I asked why, and he tells me that he has a party up at Uconn that he already RSVP'd to so because I did not get to him in time. Right off I could smell the bs that was about to take place. We argued for a minute and I finished saying that your college buddies will understand if you can’t make it if it’s a good friend’s birthday, and that I hope he reconsiders. A couple of days later me and another friend of mine (a good one at that) finished a game of disc golf which we do 2 or 3 times a week (guess who almost never comes) and we decided to stop by his house to invite him out for dinner since we were going to eat and were in the area. As soon as we asked we started getting the "I don’t want to say no and look like and a$$ so I am going to be as vague as possible" bit. I said that if he would come out and buy me dinner I would let him off the hook if he couldn’t make the party, he just flat out said no (he has money from mommy and daddy, no excuse). I just turned around and walked away, didn’t even say bye and that is the last time I have seen him, I have been giving him the cold shoulder ever since (not that he calls me anyway) and I haven’t seen or heard from him in almost a month and now school is out so he has plenty of time. After my party which he didn’t show up for, some buds of mine started talking about him and we are all just sick of his attitude. This guy is just so absorbed into his virtual world he has no time to enjoy real life, he is 22 and a virgin (though he claims since he got a BJ 5 years ago in high school that he is not...BS) all of his other friend he doesn’t even know what they look like, (World of Warcraft buddies) and he just raids dungeons and kills giant beasts like a loser. But when he actually gets invited to a party he never thinks to invite his real life friends, he says we can’t go because these parties are invitation only parties, but the one that went on during my birthday certainly wasn't. Turns out they do this every year at Uconn and that anyone can show up. Infact a bunch of people I work with went that night and not one attends Uconn or knows anyone who attends. Now if he really had to go and he was really my friend wouldn’t he have said "I cant make your party but why don’t we party here tonight instead" If he had offered that the I wouldn't be writing this right now but he didn’t and he didn’t even apologize, he is just acting like it had never happened.
Right now I feel like he is not my friend, he is more like some guy I know, and I think if I really needed his help that he wouldn’t be there for me. My question to all of you out there is, if you had a friend like that would you really call him a friend? Do you think I can justify no longer speaking to him anymore because of his lack of effort in this friendship? Any other comments welcome as he is most likely going to see this post so really, let’s hear it. Thank you in advance for your comments and from someone who may have lost a good friend, keep your friends close.