Internet Dating: Cupid is not OK

[LowCarbLife]

After reading an internet dating thread several weeks ago, i decided to try it out myself for the first time. I wanted to sign up for match.com so I created an account (sans subscription) because "it's OK to look" Well, I an only interested in meeting and searching in my area because that is just feasable...but I actually saw 6 people I know! Yikes. That is just not cool to me. So, I decided to try the free okcupid.com site.

I have chit-chatted and msged a few folks that sparked my interest a little. nothing has come of it yet. Then I get a little freaked when I check my 'ok stalker' link to see a few people like to frequent my page on an hourly basis (but never message). And then there is the one who is constantly trying to IM....I just don't know about all this. I mean, really? Will I ever meet any of these people? I just don't know.

I would ask if any of you have been successful...but you guys did some responding on the other thread.

Any other free sites besides okcupid.com that are good?

[hoodie]

I'm sure there's about five stories of crappiness for everyone who meets someone, just like in real life, but I met my boyfriend on Okcupid about six months ago. Of course I didn't meet him before I met someone who talked about action figures (and had pictures of him playing with action figures on his profile) and a few assorted sex pervs, but somewhere in the rough there was that diamond... :D It's a matter of being patient and willing to sort through all the crap and I doubt it makes TOO big a difference which dating site you use.

[Hez]

Turn off IM.

Turn off Woos.

Sometimes I get messages like "Hey what r u doing right now?" Ignore.

Anyone who is halfway intelligent will be able to write you a decent email and will have an interesting profile. Do the same and you should be fine.

[PenforPrez]

Any other free sites besides okcupid.com that are good?

I've been sending a lot of messages at Plentyoffish. I like it. I really like the features. You can see exactly who looked at your profile and roughly when. If you sent somebody a message, the site keeps track of it. If it gets deleted before it's read, it lets you know. It's pretty good with coming up with matches. I've found two dates in about four months there, which was a lot better than I was doing. :rolleyes:

Paul

[wordsmith]

I had pretty decent luck getting dates off match.com, etc., but I had better luck, relationship-wise, off non-dating sites, but places where people just come and talk - kind of like the difference between meeting a guy in a quiet dive bar full of good conversationalists, versus in a meatmarket club where it's all about T&A and you have to scream to be heard, to put it in a real-life parallel. I met my boyfriend, with whom I now live, here on these forums (which are not meat markets - although they have had their days ;) ).

[NewMrs.]

My online dating adventures ended in 2003, so I can't really give you any current information on which online dating websites are currently good and which ones suck. However, I didn't once pay for any of the online dating services I would sign up for the free trial period on one service, and once it ended, I would jump to the free trial period at a different site. I'm a bit of a cheapskate. I met my husband indirectly through Yahoo! personals.

There was some mention above about not responding to messages such as "How r u doing?" I think that this is a very good plan. The friend who got me into online dating is a stickler for grammar and punctuation, and she would not ever let me respond to anybody who sent me a message that was obviously misspelled, punctuated incorrectly, if the grammar was glaringly wrong, or if the first letter of each sentence was not capitalized. She said that if the guy couldn't go to the trouble of writing using correct English when he made his first impression, then I shouldn't bother with him. She had a point. To this day, though, she still corrects my grammar when I am speaking.

[wordsmith]

I can't take guys seriously as prospects if I'm mentally correcting their grammar.

I also have routinely ignored all messages and the like that contain 'net-speak. Speak to me in the language of intelligent people, and we'll talk. None of this "how r u dam baby ur hot" bullshit. Get real.

[prgrl22]

I've never frequented the online dating sites for a variety of reasons, but I know several people who have had tremendous success on them. A compilation of success stories and the various sites they used is below:


My brother met his wife on eHarmony. He met some crazies before he got together with his wife, but I think she was the fifth person he met on there.
A former work colleague met her husband on Match.com back in 2000; as far as I know, they're still together.
A close friend from high school met his long-term girlfriend on Yahoo! Personals.
A friend from college met his significant other on Chemistry.com.
A current work colleague has been having some moderate success meeting people on J-Date.


I've also heard good things about LavaLife, but don't have a specific "success story" to share for that one :)

[AsianGeek]

It really depends on what you're looking for. If you're really picky, you might not find what you want on those websites.

[Deni81]

Before I met my current boyfriend, I tried both match.com and plenty of fish.
I went on a few dates with one guy, a few first dates with no second on match. I briefly dated a guy who only appeared to be normal from plenty of fish. Honestly, I think you have the same odds of meeting a decent guy or girl online that you do in real life situations.

My sister met her husband on myspace back in 2005. So it is possible.

[wordsmith]

It really depends on what you're looking for. If you're really picky, you might not find what you want on those websites.

Honestly, if you're really picky, you probably won't find what you want OFF those websites, either. When you look at it in terms of numbers/probability, you're able to access more potential dates online than off, most likely. The more options, the more opportunity for success.

The method of meeting somebody is pretty unimportant. What goes on once you are together is really the far more important thing in terms of staying together. It's not what brings two people together, it's what keeps them together.