help needed: facebook etiquette question

[baby_gurl0604]

so, i recently returned to the world of facebook after taking a break for a couple years, and feel i may be a little out of the loop now. my issue is, i found someone I've been interested in for a long time on facebook. I want to contact him, but the thing is, we have no friends in common and his profile information is private. I want to be respectful of that and don't want him to think I'm a big weirdo/stalker or something for contacting him out of the blue. I thought about saying something like "I ran across your profile and thought i'd say hi", etc, but I feel like it would still be obvious that I searched for him by name.

any suggestions?

[koolkat1980]

Tread carefully, as he may already have a girlfriend....just email him and keep it short, simple and brief....a quick hi! See if he responds.

[KCboy]

I think women have the right to contact men out of the blue, I think its flattering.

go ahead, send a mesage, just do a little innocent flirting.

[AsianGeek]

Friend him if you haven't already and just write something on his wall. Write something that would normally provoke a response. Start from there and try to establish a time to meet up. You'll know if he's interested by that point.

[baby_gurl0604]

yeah, I don't know- I looked at his profile and it doesn't have anything on there about a gf, but...I don't know, I still feel a little weird just randomly emailing him.

[AsianGeek]

random ppl try to add me all the time. Since it sounds like you two know each other, he probably won't mind adding you. A lot of guys don't take random e-mailing negatively. It's in fact quite the opposite as it shows interest from the other party.

[and1grad]

I think it would be fine to send him a message. Do you not actually know him?
I think women have the right to contact men out of the blue, I think its flattering.
Is the opposite not true?

[KCboy]

Is the opposite not true?

I don't think so. From what I understand, women are constantly sent emails from sleezy guys trying to get laid.

[and1grad]

I don't think so. From what I understand, women are constantly sent emails from sleezy guys trying to get laid.
You've got a point. But at the same time, I dont think its too difficult for women to tell the sleeze from everyone else.

[KCboy]

I dont think its too difficult for women to tell the sleeze from everyone else.

I must not be doing a good job of separating myself, because whenever I approach a woman (live or online) I get an overwhelming "go away creep" vibe. maybe I'm just being paranoid.

[and1grad]

I must not be doing a good job of separating myself, because whenever I approach a woman (live or online) I get an overwhelming "go away creep" vibe. maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Or you're a creep. :D

Actually, I'm always afraid that thats the impression I'll give off so I usually abstain from unnecessary dialogue to people I dont know. You're better off approaching...I'll tell ya that much.

[spokes]

but I feel like it would still be obvious that I searched for him by name.

it's facebook - the only way to find people is to search via name, or use the people you may know function.

i'd just send him a message. as an aside I beleive that once you send messages with someone, it gives you access to thier profile for a period of time.

I think that you maybe overalayzing this situation because you are interested in him, if you just wanted to touch base with him and you had you no interest you'd send him a message and not think about it any further.

[allie1105]

How do you know him? If he knows you then he shouldn't think it's weird that you want to be his friend on facebook...also, it isn't strange to send a friend a message, so I think you are OK.

[Minipan]

Personally, I'd just put myself out there and contact him. I mean, he does have a Facebook profile and it is searchable (I think I made that word up:D ) by name, so what's the big deal?