Echo
09-13-2008, 08:50 PM
Hi guys and gals,
I guess this is a part-rant, part asking-for-advice kind of thread.
I broke up last night with my bf, it was so effortless and so right. I tried breaking up with him twice before but didn't feel ready even though I felt like it was over. I guess I was waiting for the time when it would finish naturally. So he wasn't too surprised or emotional, I'd managed to build up some distance between us when I didn't follow him when he decided to go back to France to study. So with me in England and him in France, it was the perfect opportunity for me to be objective.
I guess I want my next bf to be someone I feel attracted to or feel some sort of a vibe/chemistry. With my ex I didn't feel that, all I had was his great personality (initally he was amazing, but I got so sick and tired of him later on).
I want someone I can feel proud to show off to my closest friends. I once took my ex to a party full of friends, and he embarassed me. Not in a nasty sort of way like getting into a fight or whatever. But througout the whole night he was shy, clingy to certain friends who, after a while did not want to hang out with him. He was cracking 'jokes' (which I used to pretend to find funny, but other people obviously don't have such obligations) and trying to be funny, and it was just tedious for others, I could feel them getting bored/uncomfortable.
I used to think of him as a social, popular kind of guy. In France he's got lots of friends and does gigs, is very confident and charming with others, and me. But the problem was, I hated France, I couldn't see myself living there at all, so it would mean having to put up with his insecure self in England.
Back to my ex. He's eccentric and wears baggy pants like Charlie Chaplin. He's kind of balding (don't get me wrong, some bald guys are actually hot), doesn't have too much substance to him - he's far from my 'type' of tall and well-built guys.
He liked one of my poems so much that he took a couple of the lines and put it in a song. I got pissed off at this I told him he can't use those words because I'm not a published writer and it's kind of plagiarism.
In short, I don't know how on earth I ended up with this guy. I find him boring, annoying, badly-dressed, his sense of humour a little too eurotrash - with all the silly and gay-like references to penises and ding dong dandies.
I find it annoying that he always always asks me to repeat what I've just said because he can't understand me when I say it the first time. Making me self-conscious of my own language ability in my own native tongue. I I also hated it when he corrected me everytime I uttered a word of french - reducing my advanced university-level French to basics.
I'm not saying he was horrible. Quite the contrary, he was a very romantic, sentimental kind of guy, which got boring after a while. Really, he was just a teddy bear boyfriend.
So, I'm still getting over the last remnants of him in my mind, but also on the lookout for a new guy in my life.
I wanted to ask you guys how do you go about finding a reasonably good-looking, outgoing, intelligent guy?
And how do you assess your own desirability so that you don't end up with a guy way below you? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm stunning or anything, but I want to feel l'm doing justice to myself.
Have you ever been in a similar relationship?
I've decided to work in 2 part-time jobs as an Art Gallery assistant and a barmaid at a pub. I'm hoping the right kind of guy would be drawn to me this way.
What do you guys think?
I guess this is a part-rant, part asking-for-advice kind of thread.
I broke up last night with my bf, it was so effortless and so right. I tried breaking up with him twice before but didn't feel ready even though I felt like it was over. I guess I was waiting for the time when it would finish naturally. So he wasn't too surprised or emotional, I'd managed to build up some distance between us when I didn't follow him when he decided to go back to France to study. So with me in England and him in France, it was the perfect opportunity for me to be objective.
I guess I want my next bf to be someone I feel attracted to or feel some sort of a vibe/chemistry. With my ex I didn't feel that, all I had was his great personality (initally he was amazing, but I got so sick and tired of him later on).
I want someone I can feel proud to show off to my closest friends. I once took my ex to a party full of friends, and he embarassed me. Not in a nasty sort of way like getting into a fight or whatever. But througout the whole night he was shy, clingy to certain friends who, after a while did not want to hang out with him. He was cracking 'jokes' (which I used to pretend to find funny, but other people obviously don't have such obligations) and trying to be funny, and it was just tedious for others, I could feel them getting bored/uncomfortable.
I used to think of him as a social, popular kind of guy. In France he's got lots of friends and does gigs, is very confident and charming with others, and me. But the problem was, I hated France, I couldn't see myself living there at all, so it would mean having to put up with his insecure self in England.
Back to my ex. He's eccentric and wears baggy pants like Charlie Chaplin. He's kind of balding (don't get me wrong, some bald guys are actually hot), doesn't have too much substance to him - he's far from my 'type' of tall and well-built guys.
He liked one of my poems so much that he took a couple of the lines and put it in a song. I got pissed off at this I told him he can't use those words because I'm not a published writer and it's kind of plagiarism.
In short, I don't know how on earth I ended up with this guy. I find him boring, annoying, badly-dressed, his sense of humour a little too eurotrash - with all the silly and gay-like references to penises and ding dong dandies.
I find it annoying that he always always asks me to repeat what I've just said because he can't understand me when I say it the first time. Making me self-conscious of my own language ability in my own native tongue. I I also hated it when he corrected me everytime I uttered a word of french - reducing my advanced university-level French to basics.
I'm not saying he was horrible. Quite the contrary, he was a very romantic, sentimental kind of guy, which got boring after a while. Really, he was just a teddy bear boyfriend.
So, I'm still getting over the last remnants of him in my mind, but also on the lookout for a new guy in my life.
I wanted to ask you guys how do you go about finding a reasonably good-looking, outgoing, intelligent guy?
And how do you assess your own desirability so that you don't end up with a guy way below you? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm stunning or anything, but I want to feel l'm doing justice to myself.
Have you ever been in a similar relationship?
I've decided to work in 2 part-time jobs as an Art Gallery assistant and a barmaid at a pub. I'm hoping the right kind of guy would be drawn to me this way.
What do you guys think?