Being told how to job hunt?

[IntheMiddle85]

So I have been at my current job in a call center for four months now. It's been an up and down four months because while I love the people I work with and am happy to work for a great company that is giving me good skills, I just hate customer service...especially listening to people b**ch and complain on the phone all day about really trivial things (so I don't work for a credit card company or collections or anything). I like face to face environments better.

Anyway tonight I was having a discussion with a "friend" about a job I was planning on applying for to be a secretary at a nearby college. She basically said if the opportunity presents itself and I get an interview and an offer to take the job. I said well of course I am going to interview first to see if I like the sound of the job and would have a good rapport with the people there. We then got to talking about other prospects I have, which are unfortunately slim right now, but I am definitely trying.

So this "friend", who has been out of school for a year and has a job in her field (I graduated in May) went bonkers on me and starting accusing me of not doing my job hunt right. She was unhappy with what I considered to be my description of a decent job, chewed me out for not applying to every opening out there (said it didn't matter whether I liked the sound of the job or not), and said I was being "too picky" when I mentioned that I prefer to be in a small to medium sized business. No matter how much I tried to keep reiterating that while I don't mind advice, it is ultimately my life to live and decide which advice I take and don't take.

However, that was not enough to stop her and she did not accept that. She just kept ripping me apart saying that I wasn't looking for jobs the right way, that I was going to be in the call center for the next 2-3 years, and even patted herself on the back for getting a "marketable" degree (sign language interpreting)...she also considers my degree in mass communications to be non-marketable even though I did an internship, spent all four years on the college paper, and had other steady jobs during college.

I don't think I am doing anything wrong by clearly defining what kind of environment and responsibilities I would like and don't like. None of my other friends or family freak out on me like this. Sure they suggest places I could apply and give me practical advice like considering the cost of living vs. pay...but they don't tell me I have everything all wrong and will be working in a call center forever. However, this psychopath (she was acting like one anyway) seems to think she can run my life. She's basically pissed that I'm not applying for every job I see advertised.

Again, I tried to tell her this is not her life but she could not get that and continued to spew her nonsense and bad advice. I finally shut her up by explaining other people in the call center have degrees or are working towards them and I don't see anyone telling them they are ruining their lives...and I would never say anything like that either. After that, she stopped talking.

I'm probably going to cut her out of my life. I've given her too many chances on dictating me as she tried to persuade me to quit my college job...she had the same one and got fired so she kept trying to tell me I would get fired and should quit. This is the last straw.

So I guess the question is...is there a right way and a wrong way to job hunt? Is being picky a bad thing? And how can I deal with her or anyone else who thinks they have all the answers?

[erika36]

Wow. Your friend sounds like a pain. I don't blame you for cutting her out of your life. While it is nice when people can give advice to help, ultimately it is your decision. Personally I think it's a little bold for somebody, especially a friend to butt into your life like that, but that's just me.

I don't think there's any right/wrong way to job hunt, but if there's such a thing as a right way then I sure haven't found it yet. :D While in this economy it's good to understand that jobs are fewer and far between, it sounds like you already have a job you can keep while looking for the kind that fits you. So screw what your friend says and keep being picky. I hope this helps.

[Restless&Lost]

So I have been at my current job in a call center for four months now. It's been an up and down four months because while I love the people I work with and am happy to work for a great company that is giving me good skills, I just hate customer service...especially listening to people b**ch and complain on the phone all day about really trivial things (so I don't work for a credit card company or collections or anything). I like face to face environments better.

Anyway tonight I was having a discussion with a "friend" about a job I was planning on applying for to be a secretary at a nearby college. She basically said if the opportunity presents itself and I get an interview and an offer to take the job. I said well of course I am going to interview first to see if I like the sound of the job and would have a good rapport with the people there. We then got to talking about other prospects I have, which are unfortunately slim right now, but I am definitely trying.

So this "friend", who has been out of school for a year and has a job in her field (I graduated in May) went bonkers on me and starting accusing me of not doing my job hunt right. She was unhappy with what I considered to be my description of a decent job, chewed me out for not applying to every opening out there (said it didn't matter whether I liked the sound of the job or not), and said I was being "too picky" when I mentioned that I prefer to be in a small to medium sized business. No matter how much I tried to keep reiterating that while I don't mind advice, it is ultimately my life to live and decide which advice I take and don't take.

However, that was not enough to stop her and she did not accept that. She just kept ripping me apart saying that I wasn't looking for jobs the right way, that I was going to be in the call center for the next 2-3 years, and even patted herself on the back for getting a "marketable" degree (sign language interpreting)...she also considers my degree in mass communications to be non-marketable even though I did an internship, spent all four years on the college paper, and had other steady jobs during college.

I don't think I am doing anything wrong by clearly defining what kind of environment and responsibilities I would like and don't like. None of my other friends or family freak out on me like this. Sure they suggest places I could apply and give me practical advice like considering the cost of living vs. pay...but they don't tell me I have everything all wrong and will be working in a call center forever. However, this psychopath (she was acting like one anyway) seems to think she can run my life. She's basically pissed that I'm not applying for every job I see advertised.

Again, I tried to tell her this is not her life but she could not get that and continued to spew her nonsense and bad advice. I finally shut her up by explaining other people in the call center have degrees or are working towards them and I don't see anyone telling them they are ruining their lives...and I would never say anything like that either. After that, she stopped talking.

I'm probably going to cut her out of my life. I've given her too many chances on dictating me as she tried to persuade me to quit my college job...she had the same one and got fired so she kept trying to tell me I would get fired and should quit. This is the last straw.

So I guess the question is...is there a right way and a wrong way to job hunt? Is being picky a bad thing? And how can I deal with her or anyone else who thinks they have all the answers?


Is there a right and wrong way to job hunt? Yes. But I think the reason why she was being snotty has less to do with that and more to do with snobbery. She's making uncalled-for value judgments on your life choices more than anything else.

I mean, I have some friends whom I perceive to have made some pretty crappy life choices as far as school/job/career stuff goes, but that's not something I feel the need to throw in their face. Because at the end of the day, who the hell says I have anything figured out :rolleyes:

[wordsmith]

Allow me to rip your so-called friend's opinions to shreds:


She was unhappy with what I considered to be my description of a decent job,

Not her business to say. Your idea of what's decent doesn't HAVE to coincide with hers. She's not the one who has to make peace with the decision.

chewed me out for not applying to every opening out there (said it didn't matter whether I liked the sound of the job or not), and said I was being "too picky" when I mentioned that I prefer to be in a small to medium sized business.

This is bullshit. Especially the "doesn't matter if you like the sound of it or not" bit. That's crucial. Why apply to something you don't even want? This is not the gulags. And, for what it's worth, I personally HATED working for a large employer. I'm much happier at small/midsized places where I am not just an employee number on a checkstub. But that's a matter of personal preference. Your "friend" needs to realize that somebody not sharing her opinion is just kind of the way it goes.

even patted herself on the back for getting a "marketable" degree (sign language interpreting)...she also considers my degree in mass communications to be non-marketable even though I did an internship, spent all four years on the college paper, and had other steady jobs during college.

Guess which degree is more widely applicable? Hmmmm. Not that there's anything wrong with specializing in the least, but if your friend was that secure in how she's doing, she wouldn't be denigrating you.

[gemma-dahl]

I'm probably going to cut her out of my life. I've given her too many chances on dictating me as she tried to persuade me to quit my college job...she had the same one and got fired so she kept trying to tell me I would get fired and should quit. This is the last straw.

Your friend seems like she's majorly jealous of you. Seems it's not you who's having second thoughts about her highly specialized major or her ability to hold down a job, huh?

I also prefer to work for small companies. I currently work for, among other entities, a multinational health insurance provider. I can't stand the senseless, dogged, hierarchical, "well, hell, George, we've done it this way before, even if we're losing money and our good name, no reason to stop now" sort of mindset.

You go work wherever you want to. It's you who has to go to the job every day, not your friend. You know you don't like big companies? More power to you! Now, you won't waste time throwing resumes at any opening that exists (which, incidentally is a fine way to waste your time and lower your chances of success when job-hunting, contrary to what your friend says).

Also, I see tons of jobs every day for communications majors. Tons of enticing openings for them. But SL interpreters? No, not so much.

If your friend does this routine with you again, instead of defending yourself (because she doesn't care, it's all about her), why not say, "We can discuss this again when you're ready to listen to and respect me. See ya," and leave? It'll make her think, to say the least...

[Restless&Lost]

Let me just chime back in here and say that, at the end of the day, you are the only one who can determine what will make you happy.

I still think that the whole exchange was her not-so-subtle way of gloating. None of it had anything to do with actually trying to help you.

In any event, it's perfectly fine to be picky in the job hunt when you already have a job in the first place -- really, what would be the point of moving from one job you don't like to a different job that you still don't like? That makes no sense. You're luck you can afford to bide your time for as long as necessary, given the current economic climate.

And the above post is so right, in that indiscriminately dumping your resume en masse into the Great Internet Sinkhole is pretty much the worst job-hunting technique there is. You get better returns when you take the time to customize and focus your search. You get the best returns through networking and referrals -- that's how you get the opportunities that no one else hears about.

Also, once you get your first gig, and you do well in it, you never really have to be worried about unemployed as long as you keep an open mind and a keen eye towards future opportunities.

Best of luck to you. Don't listen to your friend; she doesn't know what she's talking about.