S.O.'s annoying friend(s)

[winneythepooh7]

Anyone relate? My husband has this "friend" that everyone in our circle basically just "tolerates" at this point. What he needs is a good swift kick in the ass though and some major "tough love".

He is a leach, a mooch, an alcoholic, dapples in all kinds of drugs, lost his job, his wife left him after less than 6 months marriage, he refuses to look for a new job, (basically is enabled by his parents financially), hooks up now all the time with skanky women, the list goes on and on and on......Did I also mention he is 33 years old?

I am ready to pitch a fit though, because my husband is watching the football game with his one friend (who is leaving immediately after the game to go to his inlaws) and then we were going to start working on the nursery. We just get a call that this "friend" is on his way to our house now to hang out and watch the game. He's being DROPPED OFF by someone. My husband gave him a bunch of reasons why he can't and shouldn't come but he STILL invited his sorry ass over.

Everyone in our circle at one time or another has also tried to encourage him to get help for his issues but he doesn't.

Anyone been here before?

[erika36]

Mooches defininitely stink. I've been there with that situation. You didn't mention if this friend mooches off you guys or not. If it doesn't affect your life in that way, you might just have to put up with him if he's your husband's friend.

[winneythepooh7]

My husband is beyond fed up with him, so I don't think I will have to "put up" with him for much longer. ETA: again keep in mind that my husband did not invite him over. He just came even though he was told not to ;).

Yes, he mooches off of us (ie. never brings food/alcohol to a gathering, or cash when he "invites" himself out with everyone).

We both had it with him last night because he didn't leave until freakin' 8PM. My husband got absolutely nothing accomplished with the nursery. I also was a total beyotch to him and I am sure he knows that I don't like him (not that he cares).

I had a discussion with my husband and we both decided that until our son arrives, we really aren't going to invite anyone over on weekends, since this is really the only time we have to ourselves to relax and do things around the house.

When my son is here, I am going to be firm about this guy not coming to our home because I really don't want illegal drugs coming into my house. Who knows what he is carrying on him now----but it's even more worrisome once a child is involved.

[hoodie]

Wow what a hack!
Winney, what's good is it sounds like you and your husband are totally on the same page. This would be a really tough situation if your husband still thought this guy was the bees knees. You guys also do have a built-in excuse with your pregnancy and upcoming parenthood to sort of phase this dude out, which is what sounds like is going to happen, and, from how it sounds, it'd be for the best.

[allie1105]

UGHHHHHH Winney, I know your pain. I am so sorry for you! I am glad your husband is willing to put his foot down. Maybe once your son comes and he stops hanging out with your husband, he will get the point.

My husband has a lot of siblings, and one of them is like this. He is younger, and is always drinking/smoking. Always carries pot on him...ugh. I think there is a time and a place for everything, and my husband and I are not into that lifestyle - so you would THINK he would realize that with us is not the time OR the place. Some examples of incidents:

- I was training for a half-marathon and did a 14 mile training run to my parents house. My husband was going to pick me up there, but his brother was on his way over and they decided it would be easy if he picked me up since it was on the way. He picked me up, had an open container of beer that he was drinking (yes, while driving) and also began to smoke his litle "one-hitter". I asked him to drop me off on the side of the road so I could walk home - he put the stuff away and I have since then refused to drive with him. Did I mention I was going to school for education at the time? Yeah. That would have looked GREAT if he got pulled over.

- Driving to visit their sister, his brother was in the car (our car). Without asking he rolled down the windows and lit up his "one-hitter". Again - TEACHER!!! My husband is an electrician and gets randomly drug tested when he is asked (union does this) - NOT COOL!!!

Those are just two of the many incidents. I do not encourage him coming to our home or hanging out with us...he doesn't have any consideration for others and doesn't have a will to change his lifestyle.

I think you will be OK once your husband starts to cut him off...until then, hang in there and vent, vent, vent!!!

[winneythepooh7]

He tried to invite himself over again today so we lied and said my husband's family is over for dinner.

Last night, he showed up at a party we were at. He's like "Oh can I touch your stomach to see if I feel the baby"............funny enough the baby was pretty active last night, and gave his hand a big swift "kick" right when he put his hand down.

It was enough to freak him out and send him to another room LOL. We're excited because our son is learning already!!!!

I also heard he got into a fight with our friend's brother last night after we left the party. Like, physical---pushing/shoving kind of fight, because of how he is to their family as well.

[allie1105]

Ughhhh he sounds SO annoying!!! I think it's funny that your son already let him have it!!! Has your husband been distancing himself from him?