Quit While You're Not Ahead

[ash14vwb]

I recently read an article in the Oprah Magazine (I believe it was the January 2008 issue) with the overall message "Quit while you're not ahead." The author described a relationship with a good friend in which she was always trying to outdo the friend in everything- social circles, work performance, exercise, cooking, you name it. However, she found this constant struggle to be better very wearing - so wearing, that during one of their exercise routines, they pushed each other so much that the writer collapsed. She realized then that she must quit while she was NOT ahead of her friend - let the friend be better than her in this situation, and save her own health.

In this unstable time in my life, during my first full-time job, I find myself constantly wondering, "Is this right for me?" No matter what I do, there is always more to be done. I'm never "ahead" on my work, just getting it done for when it needs to be (if that). I'm completely worn out already, and it's taking a toll on me. However, I'm not a "quitter," so I'm sticking this job out at least for the first year- only because it would look bad for future jobs if I broke this contract now (dam* it!). And because of the economy.... ugh. But that doesn't change the facts that I'm 1) overwhelmed 2) always just scraping by 3) feeling the toll this is taking on my body/mind/relationships 4) unhappy 5) questioning everything.

So, friends, what is your take on the idea of quitting while you're NOT ahead? I realize this concept is not applicable to every facet of our lives, but I find myself applying to my work on a daily basis. "Will I ever be comfortable doing this and not just feel like I'm keeping afloat? Even if I do get into a routine, I don't feel this is what will make me feel productive/fulfilled/happy. So in that sense, should I quit while I'm not ahead?" I'd love to hear others' take on this interesting spin on an often-used mantra.

[ash14vwb]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/03/12/o.when.to.quit/index.html

^ link to the article featured on CNN.com

[Screen Name]

Well, I moved on from my old field because I didn't like the work and I got a chance to pursue my true interest, with a paycut and a drastic resume blotching career change...

With that said, I don't think many people quit while they are ahead unless they retire. When it looks like the rules are not fair, the opportunity is not as good as you hoped, or you are not moving ahead fast enough it's time to move on and yeah, at that point you're ''behind'' (aka not ahead). I always think back to the times I met older people with great regret they did not follow their true desires, I would hate to be 60 years old and looking back feeling like I took abuse too long, I even think I overstayed my last job but this economy will trap even the most determined job hunter. My point is that I think many people do not quit while they feel 'ahead'- if my jobs in my former career did not suck so bad I probably never would have been compelled to find my passion in something else. Often times I see people take drastic turns to pursue something risk that involves sacrifice it's because they are not happy with their current position, people that are ahead tend to get comfortable even if their job is not in line with their passion.

Also keep in mind ahead and behind is only measured to people around you and your own expectations, typically these benchmarks always drift higher as we get older making it hard to ever feel 'ahead' (for me at least).

[wordsmith]

I think what she was talking about was simply letting go of the competition when it comes to friends. Which is good advice. Competition between friends seldom has a good outcome, and it seldom signifies a healthy, positive friendship.

[Restless&Lost]

How long have you been on the job? It always takes me a good 6-8 months before I really feel good about what I'm doing in a position.

I think you're right in sticking it out for the rest of the year.

No matter what I do, there is always more to be done.

Yeah, that's pretty much the story. The more work you do, the more they'll give you. But you should want this.

You'll gain far more from a job by being challenged and staying busy as opposed to one where you play on facebook all day with 1-2 hours of actual work. Even if it's not the type of career you want in the long run.

[AllisonD]

Sometimes jobs are just a horrible fit for us and we should move on, even in this economy. (I live in south Florida and it's reallllly bad here and I've been to two job interviews in the past week! There are jobs you just have to work a little harder)
But sometimes we need a change in our mindset. I know you feel like you never complete anything and that can wear on anybody. Maybe you need to just be pleased with yourself when you do complete a task. Is anyone getting on your case for not working fast enough? Maybe you're being too hard on yourself?
How long have you been at this job? Maybe you just need more time to acclimate to whats expected of you.

[soulllfulvirgo]

It's tough to imagine trying to find a job in this economy, but they are out there. I heard a story that a friend of a friend applied for 30-plus jobs and did not hear back.

I think it's best to factor in how long you think you can hold out at your current job before moving on.

Ultimately, while the economic problems are an enduring reality right now - I wouldn't let it paralyze me from making a decision - especially if I really couldn't stand the job anymore.

[AllisonD]

It's tough to imagine trying to find a job in this economy, but they are out there. I heard a story that a friend of a friend applied for 30-plus jobs and did not hear back.

I think it's best to factor in how long you think you can hold out at your current job before moving on.

Ultimately, while the economic problems are an enduring reality right now - I wouldn't let it paralyze me from making a decision - especially if I really couldn't stand the job anymore.


I definitely have applied to over 40 jobs, you just can't give up and you need to follow up after sending your resume. Don't just leave it in their hands, be assertive and call to ask to set up an interview.
I just wouldn't quit before I found something new.

[Screen Name]

I heard a story that a friend of a friend applied for 30-plus jobs and did not hear back.


I was hearing back from 1 out of every 20 or so resumes I sent during my 8 month job search where I submitted my resume over 100 times... at least.

Thing is you can theoretically apply to jobs until the end of time, you don't land a job until someone GIVES it to you. Not saying it's likey but if these people are in a bad mood one day that's enough to eliminate a good candidate, it's just people making decisions, important decisions that effect the candidate drastically in the grand scheme of things, one person's decision can open or close big important doors, a lot of luck plays into it sometimes...

[Empressallie]

It's tough to imagine trying to find a job in this economy, but they are out there. I heard a story that a friend of a friend applied for 30-plus jobs and did not hear back.

30 jobs? I think I applied to over a hundred when I moved across the country in August. Even more if you count ones I applied to before I actually moved. Finding a job IS a fulltime job. It's a challenge, but I was working again within weeks, and at a pay increase. Just stick with it and try to keep positive.

As for "quitting" I think really what we should do is stop pursuing things that make us unhappy and not continue just for the sake of completion/success. I don't consider changing your mind quitting. Goals are tricky things. Having some keeps you on a good track, but too many cuts out other possible opportunities since you are so damn focused on this particular thing, that you may not even want all that much. In terms of comparing yourself to friends, competitive friendships are toxic - stay away!

[ash14vwb]

i'm a teacher & school started sept 3rd :) so i haven't been actually teaching for more than 8 weeks! teaching is definitely a job where there's always more to be done. it's probably terrible that i'm already fantasizing about other jobs... i also just graduated college & didn't go for teaching, so this is literally the first time i'm doing it- no student teaching experience, ed classes, nada. it's overwhelming because of what the job entails & because it's the first time i have a "real" job in general.

i'm not going to quit; it's not realistic. but i do think to myself that there are jobs where one can be wayyyy less stressed out. i'll be in the midst of lesson planning on my saturday afternoon and think, "i could just stop this right now if i wanted to. it's SATURDAY, my day off. i chose to do this; i could just stop and do something more fulfilling and/or easier on me." is it better to be bored at work or always feel like you're going 100 mph? perhaps i am working too hard, as many people have told me to take a breather, lol. it's getting a bit easier now that i've talked to my supervisor & some of the other teachers in my department. they're also all VERY close, so that was a bit stressful- entering into a group of close colleagues/friends as a young teacher.

[Four Seasons]

Ahead or not, quitting is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do. Wasting time and energy on something that's not providing any benefit is a lot worse than being a "quitter".

[artemis83]

My job is just what I studied, and the location is good, my pay and benefits are good but I'm tired of it. I will keep it for another year and go to grad school to change my career, as I have past experiences that I can hopefully use towards it.