Kantubrionne
10-20-2008, 09:18 AM
My ex and I broke up about a month ago. We broke up on great terms...she's a great girl but with two kids, a job, and full time school she began to feel like she was neglecting me and felt guilty about it, so she broke up because she knew she couldn't be "in" the relationship. In her last communication to me she told me she hopes we can try again when our timing is better and that she loves me. We've traded messages a couple times since, nothing major.
The first three weeks were ok, no huge deal, but the last 4-5 days, I find that I'm very lonely, and alternately missing her and also feeling angry...not really toward her, but in general. Basically, I'll miss her, then I'll wonder about what she's doing, how she is, then I'll start freaking out wondering if she'll ever get back with her ex husband (this drives me crazy...there's NO hint that that would happen because he's an abusive, mean, controlling jerk....all they did was fight about the kids, but for some reason, it grips me with fear that this wonderful soul would ever be with him again, so I wonder about things like if she's talked with him, if he's pressuring her, if he's trying to sleep with her, if they are sleeping together....just nonsense...my imagination going wild), then I'll wonder whether she's going to start dating anyone else after telling me she simply can't right now. I believe her...she was busy all the time with the kids and life in general...I'm not wondering if she lied to me and just didn't like me...but with her absent, my mind creates all these crazy situations to think about. At the end of the day...what if she IS doing any of those things...it's her life. But at the end of the day, I know she isn't, yet I'm still deeply sad and hurt and angry and alone thinking about her doing all of them.
What do I do? Before, whenever I've had a breakup, it was really bad...we usually never spoke again. But this girl....we'll likely even hang out again, we'll certainly talk again....but I miss her, and I want her, and I can't have her, and I don't know how to deal with it right now.
Can anyone suggest anything that will help? I need a good day.
The first three weeks were ok, no huge deal, but the last 4-5 days, I find that I'm very lonely, and alternately missing her and also feeling angry...not really toward her, but in general. Basically, I'll miss her, then I'll wonder about what she's doing, how she is, then I'll start freaking out wondering if she'll ever get back with her ex husband (this drives me crazy...there's NO hint that that would happen because he's an abusive, mean, controlling jerk....all they did was fight about the kids, but for some reason, it grips me with fear that this wonderful soul would ever be with him again, so I wonder about things like if she's talked with him, if he's pressuring her, if he's trying to sleep with her, if they are sleeping together....just nonsense...my imagination going wild), then I'll wonder whether she's going to start dating anyone else after telling me she simply can't right now. I believe her...she was busy all the time with the kids and life in general...I'm not wondering if she lied to me and just didn't like me...but with her absent, my mind creates all these crazy situations to think about. At the end of the day...what if she IS doing any of those things...it's her life. But at the end of the day, I know she isn't, yet I'm still deeply sad and hurt and angry and alone thinking about her doing all of them.
What do I do? Before, whenever I've had a breakup, it was really bad...we usually never spoke again. But this girl....we'll likely even hang out again, we'll certainly talk again....but I miss her, and I want her, and I can't have her, and I don't know how to deal with it right now.
Can anyone suggest anything that will help? I need a good day.