Did I really just throw 6 years of college, and 8 of my life, away?!

[KristaP]

Hello, all. I wanted to be a teacher since fifth grade. Never trust a fifth-grader to know what they want.

As I sludge through my second year of teaching remedial reading to middle school students, I find that I despise teaching. I abhor having to play cop, I hate trying to decipher unlegible papers, and I simply cannot tolerate the immaturity in both my peers and students anymore.

I want out. But I graduated with a degree in English Education, which severely limits my career options.

And worse, even if I went back to school I still don't know what I want and I have no time to figure it out. People think that a teacher works from 7:45-3:45. The truth is that I leave my house at 6:30 and don't get back until around 6 at night. By that time, after battling lazy kids and typical Atlanta traffic during rush hour, I am emotionally drained and physically exhausted. So how am I supposed to discover what I want when I have no time? By the time Summer rolls around, it's too late.

I hate this job, but I need some kind of job. By summer I've already committed myself to another year of torture, which is not fair for me OR the students.

Any advice?

Thanks.

[fuzmiq]

I think there are a few ex-teachers on this board. I am sure they have great advice for you.

[capella]

There are also several current teachers on the board who can offer advice. :-) I'm one of them.

I used to teach middle school language arts, and I’ve found that high school English is SO MUCH better. My husband was an intensive reading teacher for 3 years and he liked it pretty well. He went to work for our district reading department and now he works as a tech facilitator. He has the patience of a saint, though. I couldn’t do middle school reading. Ack!! That’s a tough gig.
Here are several threads on the topic of teaching. PM me if you have specific questions or need advice. I’m glad to help.

http://quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30716&highlight=teaching
http://quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10074&highlight=teaching
http://quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30588&highlight=teaching
http://quarterlifecrisis.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30536&highlight=teaching

[wordsmith]

My story, for what it's worth. Sorry for the length, but it's been a long journey. Hope it's helpful:

I also got my degree in English education, and wanted to be a teacher from an early age. I hated the majority of my education courses, hated 95% of student teaching (connecting with students making up the approximately 5% I loved about student teaching, but the rest was frustration with the red tape, paperwork, behavior police/crowd control aspect and pettiness and lack of professionalism/collegiality among other teachers and would-be teachers). I sat at home and cried bitterly just about every night of my final semester of college, before, after, and during busting my ass to work on curriculum, grade papers, etc.

I had long summits with my departmental advisor soul-searching about why being creative, great with kids, and loving my content area were not enough to feel I was succeeding. We came to the conclusion that so much of what was troubling me was in the details of teaching that people don't fully consider until they are faced with them...the planning, the behavior management, the ability and/or experience to navigate ruthless politics, etc. I did a lot of soul-searching about what would help me to succeed, what would most play to my interests and strengths. I ultimately decided that me and a classroom of 30+ kids was something that just wasn't in the cards for me.

Ideally, the best fit for me was, as I realized through four years of doing such things throughout my undergrad as work-study jobs and volunteer hours, working as a one-on-one or small group mentor, tutor, or teacher. I didn't fare well, and wasn't comfortable, with a traditional classroom setup, but I've always been good working intensively with a few kids, or even just one kid, be they students who are struggling in a given content area, students with disabilities, students working well above grade level who need supplemental opportunities, etc. Unfortunately, public education rarely provides for this type of job in any real volume, unless one is a paraprofessional, which often comes with reduced pay and lack of benefits. Plus, paras often suffer in the school district pecking order (mom's been one for nearly two decades, know this firsthand), and getting ranked out by other teachers would be really hard to swallow when I have the same degree and training. Some schools did, at the time I graduated (pre NCLB), often have people they hired to run and coordinate special programs, like gifted/enrichment programs, which would have been great. However, with the beating public education has taken in the past decade, things like gifted programs and the positions that support them were among the first to go in the budget cuts. So, I looked outside the regular school setting to find some way to work in education that was better suited to me.

I ended up spending several years working as a youth program coordinator and director for a startup nonprofit, and my main task was establishing and running a tutoring and mentoring program to serve inner city families in my neighborhood in Chicago. Through this, I partnered with various public schools, but had much more autonomy than I ever would have had as a regular classroom teacher. It was my show. I also loved the environment and atmosphere. I worked mainly with small groups of kids who would come on different nights for after-school tutoring and youth programs. I could recruit volunteers and had a small staff, so behavior management was never the lone-ranger issue it was in the classroom, either.

The next thing I did was serve the English/writing end of my expertise. I spent about seven years working as a reporter and editor for a family of community weekly newspapers, and because I could essentially choose my own beat, I tended to lean very heavily in the direction of educational reporting. I covered all school board/district issues, but also concentrated my features very heavily on things going on with students and schools on the frontlines, writing about different unique things local schools were doing, programming-wise, and profiling students who were doing good things. It was also incredibly satisfying, and it was really helpful, when doing education features, to have the background and terminology when I'd sit down with administrators and teachers. They knew I knew what I was talking about and writing about.

Interestingly, nearly a decade after getting my teaching degree and not using it to seek out a teaching position, I'm back in the education game, although still in a less mainstream way. This past spring, I took a position with a school run by a private corporation that works with families dealing with autism and other developmental disorders. It is a very nontraditional school setting that focuses equally on academics, learning life skills, and analyzing and correcting negative behaviors. So every day is a mix of school work, things like being able to independently go grocery shopping, cook a meal, brush one's teeth, etc., and working on increasing appropriate social skills and relationship building to the extent of a student's ability. And best of all, it's done on a one-to-one ratio. I have one student whose whole education, academics and otherwise, I am responsible for. It's not a para position, I am the person who determines how everything in my student's IEP is met, I am choosing, writing, and developing my own curriculum rather than working off somebody else's, and I am not assisting or supporting any teacher, I AM the teacher. But I can focus all my energies on what my student needs to succeed, and not worry about all the other crap. I love it. There is less to do in evenings, because while I'm still doing all the things a traditionally employed teacher does, it's all for one student, so it's not piles of papers and projects to grade. I can stay an hour or two after school or come in an hour early and work on new materials and still be home at a reasonable time each day. I'm not stressed out when I get home. I love my job and my student. The school is also open year-round, with a full summer program,so I don't have a stretch in the summer where I need to find a seasonal job to fill in the income gap. Because we're open year-round, we have more interspersed holidays and days off than other schools, which is also a nice perk.

Is it easy? Nah. Teaching children with behavioral and developmental disorders is a whole different ballgame, and it can be like navigating a very confusing maze, especially in the cases of our students with the ever-mysterious autism. There is no "typical day." And working with this population is definitely not for everyone. The pace is different than what many educators would be used to unless they are well-versed in special education, and the benchmarks are totally different. It also takes an infinite amount of patience. It's not a population just everyone can work with comfortably. But for those of us who really love working with those particular kids, it's fun and rewarding.

I fully admit that had I not found such a position, I would probably still be working in education only in a tangental way...I'm still firm in my convictions that the typical classroom is not the venue for me. But I share my story to give you hopefully a little bit of insight into the fact that there are other options. The path may not be what you expected, but if you have a skill and a desire to do the things that most attracted you to education, and procedural details are dragging you down, you may want to explore off the beaten path a bit. There are really interesting thing out there that may suit you better and still let you use your skills and serve your passions.

[capella]

I just wanted to add on to what Wordsmith said. There are lots of things to do in the education field besides being a regular classroom teacher. For example, I now teach online high school and I absolutely love it. I think it's the best thing since sliced bread. ;) Investigate other options and try to find your path. There are plenty of ways to use your skills, even if you may need more teaching experience to get there. :)

[Screen Name]

I am going to write some words here that I should live by...

I felt the same way when I left my career in financial services, all the work in college, the internships, proving myself and battling upstream against the old boys network, passing several pain in the ass broker exams, and putting 5 years into it I felt like I wasted a huge part of my life doing something that was not for me. I felt that it was a waste of time that I even did it since I am now removed from it. A lot of people that went as far as I did have said, "after doing all that I feel like I can never leave this industry." A lot of the time put into things if they are non-tranferrable can make you feel like a prisoner to an industry, things like licensing exams or in your case teaching credentials.

I don't want to make this about me, as I so often do in my posts... What we need to do is look back, with whatever we do today and tomorrow and realize that those experiences shaped you into who you are today. If it's not the right fit then you have eliminated it from being on the table, you are now one step closer to finding the right fit through process of elimination. The main problem is this economy, a degree and a good head on the shoulders is not enough, I see very smart people getting shafted and very dumb but well-connected people getting the golden egg jobs. I think Wordsmith is a great poster and the story there shows some angles you can go in without trashing the progress. The change I made was very drastic and other than the organizational skills there's not much I am transferring to my new field, but I do know that everything up until now has made me who I am, good and bad. Maybe I am cynical and have a chip on my shoulder at times, but I think I am a realist and that separates me from a lot of people I know that haven't made a career change. You can take the knowledge forward and if you ever need to go back you always can. Since we only live once, to some degree you need to go with your gut or live with regret until you die, I say do some soul searching and try to find some answers on where to go from here. Sure you might look back with some bitterness over the time invested, depending on what you do, but always remember you can always feel one step ahead of most people once you choose to try something else just based on the fact most people are narrow in their experience and skills, in my opinion in this economy it's dangerous to be too narrow and those people who have been in the same job or field for a long time might get trapped. If you spread out it might open more doors later on.

Eh, maybe my post is crap, maybe not, I am trying to put a positive spin on saying the time is not wasted entirely but I am struggling with this too all the time...

[zz4guy]

Hmmm yeah I'd jump out of that career too. A-hole kids, no career growth (in a teacher's union), relatively low pay, and unpaid OT. The only good things are job security and summers off.

You could probably find a great job w/your english degree. There is a big demand for people who can write effectively and know grammar. My sister is a technical writer (English degree) and she has really excelled in her career.

If you write up a nice resume and do a good job in your interview (explain why you're jumping ship), you should find a new job pretty quickly.

[and1grad]

I agree with cap. Maybe older students would fit you better.

[capella]

While it's true that a total career change could be in order, I also have been to the point where the OP is. I totally hated teaching my 3rd year and I did quit briefly. For me, personally, that wasn't the right change and I had to evolve through different positions at different levels before I found what fit for me. It's likely a bit too soon to tell the OP to jump ship.

Teaching is not your typical career. There are so many variables that could contribute to loathing this job. There are constant factors that cause people to dislike teaching as well, but it's not all bad. It can even be mostly good. It's also an intensely personal career choice and we really can't tell the OP what to do. All I can say is that I've definitely been there, but all is not lost. If I could come back after the year I had my 3rd year, I think just about anybody could. I had nothing positive to say about teaching at that point in my career. But I can say I'm ever so glad I stuck with my gut instinct and came back. I really love my job now and I wouldn't have had the chance to love this if I had really quit then. I'm at year 5 and still going strong. There's always hope and the one great thing about teaching is that absolutely nothing ever stays the same. ;)

[wordsmith]

I also hope that the OP was able to glean from what I shared that leaving the field and working in another for a period of time doesn't necessarily mean that you can't or won't ever make your way back to education. Some of the better teachers I've ever had (a high school American and British lit instructor who had formerly been a horse trainer, and an American lit prof in college who had been a smokejumper in Montana come to mind) did other jobs in "other lives."

[ash14vwb]

i feel the same way you do!!

i've wanted to be a teacher since the 8th grade. however, i found 2 passions subject-wise - i always wanted to teach english, then continued spanish in college and loved it as much. i double majored in the subjects but not in ed. i'm teaching hs spanish first yr right now, and hate it. i love that i'm getting to use spanish (to some extent...), but feel the same way about everything you've mentioned.

do you think you feel the way you do because you had a different ideal of what teaching is in your mind? do you think back to how your classes/teachers were and thought it would be that way? that was me. schools and kids are terrible; we just don't see all of it when we're students. i teach crap classes too & am SO worn out by the end of the day...but i want to do my best for the kids. i don't know if i can do this forever, but right now, it's a job. since teaching is supposed to be less of a job & more of a calling, i guess i'm not right for it.

yeah, it's tough getting a job w/ an english degree (Why i also majored in spanish... only to realize that that wouldn't help me much either!). i truly feel that if you set your mind to achieved something better for yourself, you can. you can do alot wtih your major!!!

lastly - consider going back to school. i am. i miss it terribly- learning, classes, intelligent people in general. perhaps you can teach at the college level eventually. either way, good luck! pm me if u need to also - i've had a few breakdowns over teaching already & share the same feelings as you've posted, haha.

[Persephone]

If you don't like teaching, don't do it. Don't quit abruptly, of course, have a plan. You say that you don't know what you want to do next, so I suggest finding a palatable job that pays the bills, and figure out your game plan while you're at the new job. You sound so stressed and upset (you're asking if you threw away six to eight years of your life), I don't know if you can really settle your thoughts on what you'd really like to do until you find a less stress-inducing situation (i.e. another job). Good luck to you.

[OverOrdinary]

Do you have a bachelors or a masters?

If a masters, try to get a job teaching at a college.

The best part is, you don't HAVE to be a mom to kids.

Most college teachers get the money and run , stopping once in awhile to get papers done. Right now, I have a man that I swear is unintelligible, and is just there for the funding he gets to go to another country and study their music.


No lie.

[artemis83]

I wanted to be a teacher as a kid and changed my mind and got into social services. Even though I completed the bachelor's, during it, I did voluntary teaching for a few years and even got a job working with troubled children & youth, though now I'm working at a totally different job, for which I got specialized training in during my years of study, but I'm getting bored with it though I will keep it for another year before quitting if I get into grad school.

I had a like-hate thing with teaching as well sometimes because of a couple of negative times though I overlooked the good stuff. I admitted to myself last night that I'm just not cut for working with troubled people including special needs, mental health, people on welfare etc. It's a great service to do but it's not for me after all even if I have a compassionate side. And as narrowminded as this sounds, I just want to work with normal people for a change in a fixed environment, and work independently to make creative lesson plans and using learning tools. I feel like if on paper it looks like I worked with disadvantaged people, I can work with anyone. I remember getting too stressed out when I did day camp summer jobs between university years when it involved day trips and worrying so much about losing someone; and sometimes feeling anxious if they weren't getting quiet right away, even though I used 1-2-3 magic a million times, but I think I'm mature enough to handle it now and it will do something for my self-esteem which can definitely use a boost.