Mini14
01-17-2009, 09:42 PM
I've been having a bit of a tough time over the last few weeks, and thought it would be good to get some different people's views on this situation.
A few things happened recently, my uncle died suddenly on Christmas Day (he'd only been sick for a few weeks) and my dad hasn't been feeling quite right for about a year now, and recently has been having a barrage of medical tests. Bone cancer was suspected but luckily that test came back negative last week, but he is still waiting to have a liver biopsy, as a scan recently showed a dark spot. In addition to this, he has another condition that is not cancerous but is progressive, and may be slowed considerably by chemotherapy. So he's weighing that up as an option.
My dad is generally known to most people as a nice guy, and I can sometimes have good conversations with him but he is not an easy person to live with - he's the most stressed out person I've ever met, and can make any experience stressful. Also he is often rude to my mum - nothing major but enough to really annoy me and my sister, and make us wish that she would just stand up for herself. Any of the small comments he makes are, in isolation, not something to get particularly upset about, but when they continue day after day and year after year they must be very draining. Now that dad is sick, mum is even less inclined to tell him off for this, and puts up with a lot of bad moods and negativity which must be wearing her down too.
This situation and other recent events has also put a lot of strain on my sister and I. I'm doing a month-long intensive training course at the moment (which is stressful in itself) and have ended up in tears twice already (one time I was unable to stop crying for quite some time) and my sister told me today that she has been in tears at work a couple of times too recently.
We both realised that the thing that upset us the most was that when we both told our mum (individually) that we'd been really upset she reacted as if we were just being stupid, she seemed annoyed and just brushed it off.
I understand that this is probably her way of coping with everything as she has an immense amount of pressure on her at the moment, but it's still very hurtful, and it's very worrying because she never used to be this way.
I'm also a bit short on people to talk to at the moment too, in the last year 3 of my close friends have moved either interstate or overseas, and another one is finishing his PhD thesis so is pretty short on time at the moment... so it feels like I have a lot bottled up inside that I can't get out. I hope to speak to a counsellor as soon as I finish this course, but it's not an option at the moment because of time constraints. Money is also a consideration too, if I can get a job when I finish this course it will be ok though (a lot of people here are losing their jobs too, but it's nowhere near as bad as in America, so I'm hopeful I'll get something).
I feel like I've forgotten how to be happy about things (anything)... and I really just want to get through this course and pass it, if I can it will hopefully be the beginning of a new career direction for me, something I'll really enjoy doing. (And the course was also very expensive, it took me ages to save up for it so I really want to get through!) But my motivation is dropping off at the moment unfortunately... it's only for 2 more weeks so I hope I can just push myself through it.
I guess I'm most worried about my mum, she's the kind of person who will never admit that anything's wrong, but clearly it is. But I'm worried about me too, I feel like all I do is stress, and I realise that it's not helpful.
A few things happened recently, my uncle died suddenly on Christmas Day (he'd only been sick for a few weeks) and my dad hasn't been feeling quite right for about a year now, and recently has been having a barrage of medical tests. Bone cancer was suspected but luckily that test came back negative last week, but he is still waiting to have a liver biopsy, as a scan recently showed a dark spot. In addition to this, he has another condition that is not cancerous but is progressive, and may be slowed considerably by chemotherapy. So he's weighing that up as an option.
My dad is generally known to most people as a nice guy, and I can sometimes have good conversations with him but he is not an easy person to live with - he's the most stressed out person I've ever met, and can make any experience stressful. Also he is often rude to my mum - nothing major but enough to really annoy me and my sister, and make us wish that she would just stand up for herself. Any of the small comments he makes are, in isolation, not something to get particularly upset about, but when they continue day after day and year after year they must be very draining. Now that dad is sick, mum is even less inclined to tell him off for this, and puts up with a lot of bad moods and negativity which must be wearing her down too.
This situation and other recent events has also put a lot of strain on my sister and I. I'm doing a month-long intensive training course at the moment (which is stressful in itself) and have ended up in tears twice already (one time I was unable to stop crying for quite some time) and my sister told me today that she has been in tears at work a couple of times too recently.
We both realised that the thing that upset us the most was that when we both told our mum (individually) that we'd been really upset she reacted as if we were just being stupid, she seemed annoyed and just brushed it off.
I understand that this is probably her way of coping with everything as she has an immense amount of pressure on her at the moment, but it's still very hurtful, and it's very worrying because she never used to be this way.
I'm also a bit short on people to talk to at the moment too, in the last year 3 of my close friends have moved either interstate or overseas, and another one is finishing his PhD thesis so is pretty short on time at the moment... so it feels like I have a lot bottled up inside that I can't get out. I hope to speak to a counsellor as soon as I finish this course, but it's not an option at the moment because of time constraints. Money is also a consideration too, if I can get a job when I finish this course it will be ok though (a lot of people here are losing their jobs too, but it's nowhere near as bad as in America, so I'm hopeful I'll get something).
I feel like I've forgotten how to be happy about things (anything)... and I really just want to get through this course and pass it, if I can it will hopefully be the beginning of a new career direction for me, something I'll really enjoy doing. (And the course was also very expensive, it took me ages to save up for it so I really want to get through!) But my motivation is dropping off at the moment unfortunately... it's only for 2 more weeks so I hope I can just push myself through it.
I guess I'm most worried about my mum, she's the kind of person who will never admit that anything's wrong, but clearly it is. But I'm worried about me too, I feel like all I do is stress, and I realise that it's not helpful.