Discussed QLC w/ parents?

[soulllfulvirgo]

Out of curiosity,
has anyone on here discussed the QLC with their parents? How open were they with you about their own QLC (if they had one)?

It seems to me like we should be able to talk to them about some of these things, maybe not all. I've had some difficulty, and some successes in regards to talking with mine.

[Schecter_Guy]

I showed my Mom the article on Wikipedia. I told her she should read the book. She said no thanks, the wikipedia article was depressing enough.

[cupkake]

I wouldn't bring it up because being that they are my parents I think it somewhat goes without saying what I want as they already know the type of person I am. I however will talk to a select few friends about the changes I want to make in my life and they understand because they are in a slightly similar situation. *we all hold hands together* :)

[erika36]

My mom knows I'm having problems, but I don't think she realizes how drawn-out it's becoming. She claims she went through what I'm going through. But when she was my age, she already had me and she was out of her parents' house (although she needed financial help).

[wordsmith]

My dad went through the same sorts of things when he was in his twenties, where he was struggling to find his place, lost a parent, had the major life changes of getting married and having a kid, etc. and from the sound of it all, was going through much the same things emotionally that most people on here know well. It just wasn't called a QLC in the early-to-mid 70s. Bearing that in mind, he's always been pretty sympathetic to the growing pains of youth. But we've not sat down and had a conversation about "QLC" by name, although we've talked about all this stuff. I have a feeling my dad would be pretty scornful of the label, he thinks labels are stupid. But I do know that he recognizes that growing pains of growing up. I don't think either of my parents recognize it as almost a "movement," so much as just stuff everybody goes through, part of growing up.

My mom's perspective is a little bit different, because she did the then-traditional (for the region) thing of becoming a mom, wife, and homemaker, so her adjusting was totally different than what mine is (whereas mine more mirrored my dad with all the "finishing college, finding a suitable career" angst, etc.) in her twenties, but she also is pretty understanding of how things can be.

They're both really understanding about the fact that things are financially more difficult for my siblings and I than they were for them. My parents were able to attain financial freedom and things like home ownership far more easily than my generation is able to, and they get that.

[caostotale]

My father harbors just as much ill will as I do in regards to his peers at work. He works in sales and his office is at home. If not for the latter fact, he said that he'd probably have been ousted by now. Like myself, he's a very dilligent worker and sets very high standards for his own work. Also like myself, he baldly hates the office environment and the things that pass for 'quality worker' nowadays. He refuses to use a Blackberry, handles all of his clients over the phone, and ignores virtually every initiative boosting exercise that HR puts in his way. He fully sympathizes with the situation I'm in and hates hearing about all the staged interviews and abusive managers I've dealt with along the way. Another interesting dimension of us growing up in a mixed-economic town is that he cannot stand most people from his generation. He grew up as an early boomer-child, was a Boy Scout, upstanding citizen, honest worker, good husband, great father, and he reserves total disgust for the greedy scumbag types who drive around his area in sports-cars, buy large mansions and 60-inch TVs, and get married/divorced half-a-dozen times. As a student of history, he holds a lot of disappointment in the way his generation sold out all future generations in the maelstrom of selfish greed manifested in the Reagan/Bush/Clinton/Bush-II years, and claims that our generation will probably never be able to enjoy a decent standard of living. He also laments that people from Generation X and Generation Y have, more than ever before, been turned against one another (between and within the age groups) and that business ethics and workplace morality are deeper in the shitter than ever because of that dynamic.

My father definitely understands, and when he sees my situation, hates it just as much.

[DaneCA]

I once told my parents that I was going through a QLC and they just laughed. They were already married and about to buy a house and have a baby when they were my age, so I think they sometimes see my issues as self-indulgent. They try to empathize, but they don't really get it.

[FishOutOfWater]

My dad went through a QLC himself and definitely related to the struggles I had with crappy, low-paying jobs the two years after graduating college. He also loved going abroad in his 20s and has been very financially generous with my travel interests, even though I generally pay for myself in everything else. the only concern I have is that my dad thinks it's all over now that I'm in a top ranked grad school in a field where I want to work. However, I still worry I'll have trouble finding decent employment after I graduate, and I still struggle with things like befriending peers.

My mom never got it at all - she graduated college at 21, started law school the following fall, married my dad the following summer, and went immediately into the career / marriage / kids track. She freaked out when I told her fall of my senior year of college that I'd decided not to go to grad school because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet. She pretty much blamed two years of bad jobs on my "lack of initiative" for not going right to grad school. I think she would have had a heart attack if I hadn't decided last fall was the right time.

I should also note that my mom, being the kind of person who always did what other people wanted her to do and never thinking about what she wanted in life, is now having a fairly serious midlife crisis.

[wordsmith]

I once told my parents that I was going through a QLC and they just laughed. They were already married and about to buy a house and have a baby when they were my age, so I think they sometimes see my issues as self-indulgent. They try to empathize, but they don't really get it.

My parents had been married for a decade when my mom was my age (32), and my she was pregnant with her fourth and final child (she had my sister when she was 32, my twin brothers when she was 27, and me when she was 25). But she fully recognizes that if she lived in the world her kids live in now, she'd not be able to have the same things she had by that age a generation ago. She's savvy enough to realize that the world has changed, and that there are valid reasons for many of the challenges young people face today, most of them economic. It's not just self indulgence, it's in so many ways a more complicated world. When even your elders recognize it, you know it's true.

[t3nchi]

I tried sharing with my dad what I was going through last week. I don't think he understands.

[gemma-dahl]

Like myself, he's a very dilligent worker and sets very high standards for his own work. Also like myself, he baldly hates the office environment and the things that pass for 'quality worker' nowadays. He refuses to use a Blackberry, handles all of his clients over the phone, and ignores virtually every initiative boosting exercise that HR puts in his way.

My parents are this way as well. They value hard work and decency to get ahead, and I agree. Also, like me, they're not very big on the super plugged-in culture. They both still use landlines to call us kids, too. My dad recently said something to the effect of "people have been acting like idiots for centuries; only nowadays you can capture your idiocy on the Internet and share it with millions." :p

[Screen Name]

my dad lives in the same house that he was born in, my mom divorced him 11 years ago and she takes precriptions all day and night that really make her almost drunk. Mom worked in the same job for almost 30 years until she hurt her back, she has been out of work since i was in the 5th grade, and my dad never had a real job, he basically lived off his mother's money and mowed the lawn after she divorced his father, a doctor. My dad used to send my mom to work and charge my mom "rent", fucking unbelievable... So I guess my dad felt it was too tough to fill his father's shoes in life so he decided to be a bum and never worked a real job and never moved out of the neighborhood. I have already moved and experienced more in the working world than either of my parents, talking to them is painful, they are embarassing and have outwardly tried to screw me over with their 11 year courtroom legal drama. To those of you that have normal or supportive parents you got lucky. I look at it in a good way though, my parents chose to have me, I never chose to have them, the situation really sucks though and it would be nice to have parents that could have the capacity to understand.

[wordsmith]

My parents are this way as well. They value hard work and decency to get ahead, and I agree. Also, like me, they're not very big on the super plugged-in culture. :p

Same...I share what I guess have become fairly old fashioned, tried and true, "classic" priorities and values with my parents. At the end of the day, no matter our generational gap, I really relate to my parents as people (versus simply as parental figures), and they to me. Which helps with all kinds of things.

[excalz]

I've had mixed success. My mom has been sort of understanding. She understands that I didn't go to grad school because I have no idea what I want to do. I told her that when I graduated, I wasn't sure I even wanted to do work related to my major anymore. She had no response for this. My mom can't really relate because she knew before starting college what career she wanted. I haven't been thrown out of the house yet, so I guess that counts as understanding. I haven't gotten much support or useful advice from my mom about how I resolve my situation. Things are harder for me because I have an older brother who a) is doing really well in grad school , b)did better than me in college, and c) who is infinitely better than I am at the whole networking thing. I can't really explain to my mom why I did worse than my brother in college because it involves issues (like burnout and focus issues) that she's already called BS.