Reflection...Do you think money helps?

[chrisinreallife]

Before I sleep, when I'm going for a walk to get fresh air, or whatever it may be, i sometimes look into my future really, really scared becuase of all the uncertainty.

There are times that i am excited and look into the future with confidence, but there are times when I am just plain out scared.

will i go for a masters? if so, when?

i hate my job, but if i get a new job, will i lose it being the new guy in the midst of layoffs?

will i get a gf? or for girls, a bf? someone that i am compatible with

what am i going to do this weekend, since i dont live near my college friends

the list just goes on......


If we were truly honest with ourselves, won't you agree that many of the issues that we face right now, are issues that can be answered with money? I mean, of course, we need family + friends...no doubt....But the question is, don't you agree that money SIGNIFICANTLY raises our standard of living of comfort and, in turn, happiness (less stress at least)

We won't have to worry about paying for a masters...

We won't have to worry about living with a roommate cause we can get our own studio or 1-bedroom apartment...

We won't have to go through stress in looking for an apartment because we can afford the comfort of renting a nice place.....Better yet, we can buy a nice apartment

We won't have to worry abut losing our jobs or at least get the job we want instead of settling for something that we don't want

We won't have to budget....$20 max for dinner....$30 max at market per week....$30 max for entertainment per week...

We wouldn't have to be stressed out over having a mortgage becuase that will be paid...

If we're bored, well...we can go to the movies, go shopping, go buy a huge nice TV, whatever to keep us excited

We have money to start our own businesses and put our money into good use by building our careers

We can continue our education by taking night college classes and also meeting new people



WIthout a doubt, money is not the answer to our problems, but it really enhances our standard of living...for the better.

[Spinderella]

I just have to say if I'm bored or need excitement in my life I don't yearn to buy a new tv or go shopping. I rather go to the museum with my mom or read some classic lit or go to a spoken word show. Materialism in no way brings excitement for me. Beer, maybe. But not tv's or shopping.

[erika36]

There are a lot of things you can do without money. However most things you really need money for. I could use more of it. I don't really care for shopping but I like getting CDs once in awhile. Going to college definitely costs money. So in some ways, yeah one needs money. :D

[vinsanity]

The thing with money is that you can blow through so much of it and not be that much happier than when you didn't have too much of it. I think what makes the biggest difference is if it's hard-earned money that didn't come overnight, then you appreciate it more. Even then it's easy to lose sight of the things that keep you grounded.

[wordsmith]

Money is important for financial security, obviously. But beyond the level of basic sustainability/security, it's really kind of a sliding scale as to how important it is for happiness. Depends on what your criteria is for happiness. Some people are the type of people for whom living within a budget ruins their quality of life. For others, it's no big deal. Beyond being able to fulfil responsibilities and meet basic needs, it really becomes a question of personality, values, and priorities.

[Samwell]

I can personally attest that the difference between making a little bit less money than you need to survive and making a little bit more is HUGE for your mental health, but past that point it's a muddier question. Wordsmith's absolutely right that it's "a question of personality, values, and priorities." There are plenty of unhappy rich people.

The whole "If only I had ______ , then I'd be happy" theory is seductive, but doesn't tend to hold up in practice.

[pisces2473]

Isn't there some statistic that says after your basic needs are met and you've got a little extra...there's no big difference in happiness if you make $50K or $1 mil?

[Schecter_Guy]

This is pretty much the basis of economics. Its the utility curve. I believe the ascendency of the utility curve for money is very steep, but it also levels off very quickly. Killing the uncertainty of being low on money certainly brings a lot of comfort to life, but after that it only adds so much to the quality of life. To me money eases a helluva lot of stress and adds novelty to life, but it kind of ends for me there.

[vinsanity]

Some people are the type of people for whom living within a budget ruins their quality of life. For others, it's no big deal. Beyond being able to fulfil responsibilities and meet basic needs, it really becomes a question of personality, values, and priorities.

Of course, it depends on the size of the budget. Living within $40k a year is much tougher than living within $400k a year. And of course, there are always those who scorn the thought of budgeting for a meager $400k a year...

[fuzmiq]

For some people money=happiness. I know a friend like that.

It doesn't quite make sense to me. But I don't have that personality. The things I enjoy doing in general don't cost too much money. I love to spend time with friends, going to the movies, dancing, listening to music, etc. most of that is free or I can do it for $5 or less. But then again, I didn't grow up with money.

I wonder if my views on what makes me happy would change if I did suddenly have money. Somehow I don't think so though.

In reality though, some people just like to be unhappy. If the money situation is fixed then it is the spouse, if not the spouse then the lack of spouse or they are losing their hair, or any of a million things.....somehow we have to learn to enjoy life as we are living it.

[Four Seasons]

I agree with Fuzmiq. There is not a finite supply of worries. If it's not money, it will be something else.

I'm glad that my financial security is really the only thing I have to worry about (touch wood), because finding ways to improve your financial situation is a lot easier than solving other problems, such as relationship problems, health problems etc

I have some friends who just lost their parents/parents-in-law in a bushfire two weeks ago. They have a 9-month old daughter who now has no grandparents. My friends will now have more money (allowing them to move to a house closer to the city), but that really doesn't make up for what they have lost.

[1977]

Law of marginal utility applies after a certain point but the best aspect is to be amply rewarded for enjoyable endeavours of wide-reaching influence... (or so somebody in the know told me & there's some credibility there... ;).

[Empressallie]

I know this is probably going to sound bad, but I do think having more money makes life a lot easier. From my own life I had a dramatic reduction in daily stress once I merged finances with my bf (we moved in together in August). Now, it helps that he makes a larger than average salary, and with both of our salaries combined we can easily afford a nice lifestyle. I am VERY aware that with the economic climate as it is that could be taken away at any moment, so we are being careful with extra spending. However, I used to budget like the OP mentioned ($20 a week for this, no more than $15 on that, never saw myself really moving forward financially...on and on) and while I just accepted the reality of it at the time, I enjoy life heck of a lot more now when we can just decide to do something special and don't have to go checking every account.

I don't think money can bring true happiness. Being rich does not make you happy, but being poor certainly does suck. How much can you enjoy life if you are worried about if you can eat that day?

I agree that at some level it doesn't matter how much money you have; I have met many unhappy rich people. But at the same time, esp in this country, money opens so many doors. It's impossible to ignore that.

[fuzmiq]

There's a difference between budgeting and deciding if you have enough to eat.

You can budget and be a happy person. I am about to get new-agey on you. The circumstances of your life are not ultimately what make you happy or unhappy.

Go to a black church in a poor neighborhood on a Sunday and tell me that the congregation is not full of joy and spirit. Take it one step further, when I was in India some years ago, some of the poorest people had the funniest stories to tell and had the brightest outlooks...much more so than some of the people I know whose greatest worry is their cellphone bill.

It's all about what you value in life.

[Empressallie]

There's a difference between budgeting and deciding if you have enough to eat. You can budget and be a happy person. I am about to get new-agey on you. The circumstances of your life are not ultimately what make you happy or unhappy.


Oh I agree there is totally difference between budgeting and literally not having food to eat. However, in these times, where once middle class families are standing in line at food banks, it really is more about basic needs. Having to worry about such things does impact your happiness in a massive way.

I found the same thing you mention below when I traveled through Guatemala. Despite having next to nothing the people seemed pretty relaxed and full of joy. I think with our culture here being so money-driven there is just more emphasis on money and what it can buy/get you/get you out of, in the U.S.

I've love to say that all I need is my family, friends, and health to be happy, but it just doesn't work like that. Having access to money makes a person feel more secure, since if you don't have money you cannot even get healthcare here. You just fall right through the cracks.

I'm not on the money-grubbing side of the argument here, I'm just trying to be realistic about how having money, or not having money, has affected my personal happiness. I think we'd all like to think of ourselves as endlessly grateful creatures that focus only on "what matters", but come on, that feeling is often fleeting when daily life distracts/overwhelms us.

[fuzmiq]

I'm not on the money-grubbing side of the argument here, I'm just trying to be realistic about how having money, or not having money, has affected my personal happiness. I think we'd all like to think of ourselves as endlessly grateful creatures that focus only on "what matters", but come on, that feeling is often fleeting when daily life distracts/overwhelms us.

Well, I am wondering how has money affected your personal happiness? If that's not too personal a question.

[ebruening]

I think that my husband and I will be more at ease when we aren't consistently NEEDING to watch every penny we spend. I've avoided talking about money with my family, because my parents and my sister have a significantly higher income bracket than my husband and I do. We simply can't afford to go on vacation with them, and we're not comfortable allowing them to pay for it. We live in a relatively small, older apartment, but we don't think it would be wise for us to move into a house owned by my parents, just because they "want us to live in a nicer place." It has been depressing to try to explain to them that we just don't have the extra cash available to go on a vacation, until I'm done with my doctoral program and my husband has all of his debt paid off in December 2011. We're just at a different place in our new life together, with paying off SL debt and paying for my Ed.D. program out of pocket, than what (I think) my family expects a newly married couple to have. I think it's tough for them to understand that the majority of our income is going toward SL debt and tuition payments, and that we're just not comfortable with taking on any more debt. We figure we might as well become debt-free so long as we're both employed, and yes, that does constitute sacrifices on our part. I've never felt embarrassed about our lifestyle - renting instead of buying, paying off debt and paying for my school out of pocket, avoiding vacations because we'd have to put them on credit, Applebee's constitutes as "expensive" restaurant for us - except when I feel like I have to explain to people WHY we have to watch our pennies so carefully. Our friends are pretty much all in the same position as we are, so we don't play "the comparison game" around them, but it is tough when we get around my family. I will be more comfortable when I don't have to remove us from certain family situations because financially, we're not in a place to afford such things, and we're definitely not comfortable allowing my family to pay for our share.

[crystal_dance]

Before I sleep, when I'm going for a walk to get fresh air, or whatever it may be, i sometimes look into my future really, really scared becuase of all the uncertainty.

There are times that i am excited and look into the future with confidence, but there are times when I am just plain out scared.

will i go for a masters? if so, when?

i hate my job, but if i get a new job, will i lose it being the new guy in the midst of layoffs?

will i get a gf? or for girls, a bf? someone that i am compatible with

what am i going to do this weekend, since i dont live near my college friends

the list just goes on......


If we were truly honest with ourselves, won't you agree that many of the issues that we face right now, are issues that can be answered with money? I mean, of course, we need family + friends...no doubt....But the question is, don't you agree that money SIGNIFICANTLY raises our standard of living of comfort and, in turn, happiness (less stress at least)

We won't have to worry about paying for a masters...

We won't have to worry about living with a roommate cause we can get our own studio or 1-bedroom apartment...

We won't have to go through stress in looking for an apartment because we can afford the comfort of renting a nice place.....Better yet, we can buy a nice apartment

We won't have to worry abut losing our jobs or at least get the job we want instead of settling for something that we don't want

We won't have to budget....$20 max for dinner....$30 max at market per week....$30 max for entertainment per week...

We wouldn't have to be stressed out over having a mortgage becuase that will be paid...

If we're bored, well...we can go to the movies, go shopping, go buy a huge nice TV, whatever to keep us excited

We have money to start our own businesses and put our money into good use by building our careers

We can continue our education by taking night college classes and also meeting new people



WIthout a doubt, money is not the answer to our problems, but it really enhances our standard of living...for the better.

I haven't read the entire thread but to the OP, I think YES money does help bring hapiness BUT only if your other needs are reasonably met. If you make $100K+ a year, you most probably work alot of hours or are in a very volatile position filled with a load of office politics. That stress will eat away your hapiness (believe me, I've been there done that.)

I think having money is good ONLY if you have people to share it with. You need a man or woman in your life that will love you regardless of the money. Having good family and friends is also very important, else money will be all you have in a dark and dreary life. Not really worth it.

I'm kind've living that realization now. I was working on wall street making close to 100 grand by myself. As a 20 something guy in new york, I was living it up. Then I got laid off and everything changed. Thankfully I had zero debt and I had saved quite agressively while working. The fancy lifestyle is temporary but the girlfriend (who I met way before I had big money), friends and family are real...it's all I have right now lol. A couple of my friends who got laid off are single and distanced from their families...I can see the toll it's taking on them. Luckily they have friends else I don't know what they'd do.

[Empressallie]

Well, I am wondering how has money affected your personal happiness? If that's not too personal a question.

It's all cool. :heehee: For me personally, knowing there is more money there makes me feel secure, and I worry less. Since I worry less, I can focus more on the things in life that make me happy (my family, friends, boyfriend, hobbies, working out, etc). I also feel that being able to save a decent amount also makes the future seem brighter and I can dream bigger.

[wordsmith]

You're definitely going to have some of your stresses decreased by not having to worry all the time about money, which generally makes for a better quality of life...however, if the work you have to do to get to that point stresses you out as much or even more, it's kind of a wash.