Where and how did you meet your SO?

[QuarterLiferAmy]

For those non-single people on the QLC boards, where and how did you meet your SO? Were you actively seeking a SO at the time or happy with your single-state of self? Any weird/odd stories about how friends, family members, co-workers etc met their SO?

As an aside, *SO = significant other.

[wordsmith]

I met my S.O. on here.

I wasn't looking to meet anybody, long-distance or otherwise. I was focused on changing some other things in my life at the time, and that was pretty overwhelming and all-encompassing. I'd just turned thirty, and I'd spent a good deal of time in my upper twenties dating a lot, and was kind of over it for the time being. I wouldn't say I was content to be single, but I wasn't really in the market to focus on dating, either, at the time, it was just kind of back-burnered in favor of other concerns.

He was somebody I'd talked to on the message boards, and we'd sent friendly messages back and forth. When my car needed a part and I posted about it, he went out of his way to find me the right information to get the repair done cheaply. We talked on the boards about my love of Irish music and of NPR, and because we'd private messaged and he knew what newspaper I worked for, he sent me a St. Patrick's Day present at work - a CD from NPR's Celtic program, The Thistle and Shamrock. We eventually decided to talk on the phone. We were about seven hours' drive from one another. We really clicked conversationally, and after a few months of phone friendship, he rather boldly asked me if I'd like to be his date to his brother's wedding. I rather boldly said yes (remember, we'd never met one another face to face at that point), and that was how we met. His brother is a Marine and got married at the U.S. Naval Academy Chapel in Annapolis, so the first time we met face to face was two days before the wedding in baggage claim at the airport in Baltimore.

We've been together ever since. Four months after we met face to face (and seven after we'd begun really getting to know one another offline), I got a job in his city and moved there.

We're happy, we've been living together for a couple of years, my family adores him and vice versa, and evryone we know is thrilled for us that we went out on a limb to be with somebody so compatible.

[steph78]

My husband and I were literally next to each other in alphabetical order in our very first class in college. We had assigned seating in that class because the professor wanted to learn all our names, so I spent the whole semester sitting by him. We were in the same group of friends for three years before we actually started dating, so we already knew each other really well. I'd say we were both happy with our lives and not really looking for a relationship but we just hung out together all the time and one day it hit us that we really liked each other as more than friends. We thought it was this exciting news but our friends had all seen it coming forever and were all like "well, it's about time!"

Fast forward 10 years and we have now been married for almost 7 years and are expecting our second child this spring...wow.

[DaneCA]

I met my boyfriend at a bar. My friend and I saw him across the room and thought he was really cute. She’s much more confident than I am, so she went up to him and they talked for a couple minutes. When I left to go the restroom a little while later, I had to pass him and he stopped me and said something like, “I was waiting for you to come talk to me; you were the one I wanted to meet, not your friend.” He struck me as a little too cocky, but I was flattered so I stayed and we ended up really hitting it off and exchanging numbers. He called me the next night while I was with the same group of girls and they persuaded me to give him a chance.

Right before I met him, I was dating another guy and still hung out with him, so I wouldn’t say I was looking for a boyfriend at the time (especially not at a bar!). But we clicked, so I ended things with the other guy and I’m really happy I did!

It’s funny, though, because my boyfriend and I don’t like saying we met at a bar, since we’re not big partiers. When he met my family for the first time, he threatened to say we met online if they asked how we knew each other. Instead, we just say something vague about how we met locally, since we live in the same town.

[capella]

My husband was the roommate of my ex and worked at my campus newspaper (where I was the arts editor). We really met at a party thrown by my ex BF, who I dated for 3 years and then stayed friends with (glad I did now!). We just started dating.... movies and hanging out. It just clicked. We started dating the fall of senior year and graduated from college that spring. From there we decided to move in together as living arrangements were changing and we were engaged that next fall. We got married in the winter. Six years later, we've been married a little over 5 years and have a baby on the way this summer!

[Tayl405]

I met my boyfriend at work (cliche, I know). I had no interest in meeting anyone or dating, but we became instant friends and just hit it off. We were friends for about 5 months and we ended up in Vegas at the same time (he with his friends and I was with mine). We ended up hooking up and when we came back we started dating. A year and a half later we live together and still work together (different departments that have almost nothing to do with each other).

[pisces2473]

I met my boyfriend at a bar. My friend and I saw him across the room and thought he was really cute. She’s much more confident than I am, so she went up to him and they talked for a couple minutes. When I left to go the restroom a little while later, I had to pass him and he stopped me and said something like, “I was waiting for you to come talk to me; you were the one I wanted to meet, not your friend.” He struck me as a little too cocky, but I was flattered so I stayed and we ended up really hitting it off and exchanging numbers. He called me the next night while I was with the same group of girls and they persuaded me to give him a chance.
LOL was your friend mad?

[DaneCA]

LOL was your friend mad?

Hahaha, no. Everyone asks me that, though. Fortunately, she's a social butterfly and ended up talking to a few other guys that night, too. We aren't very close, anyway, and I didn't see her for a few months after that. When I did, I mentioned something about my boyfriend and she asked, "You have a boyfriend? Who?" She thought it was hilarious when I told her it was the same guy! (Don't worry, I wouldn't have gone for him if the situation had been different!)

[pisces2473]

I met my now-husband on match.com...but this was back before it got sketchy. [Not that I know first-hand, my single friends tell me how bad it is.]

Met in late 2003, became an "item" in early 2004, got serious pretty quickly when he was in a bad accident, engaged in June 2006, married in Sept 2007, and now just...married.

[SmilesSoSweet]

www.plentyoffish.com.

We chatted/emailed for a couple weeks after he contacted me on there. Then our first date was in Feb. 2007. Valentine's day is our official anniversary (even though I was never a fan of the damn holiday! LOL oh well.

We're still together. :)

[Empressallie]

I met my SO in a bar in Dublin in 2004. We were both there on a random trip, with other people, and just happened to have an inkling for Irish music and Guiness at the same time, lol. We communicated for years via phone and email, and in 2007 made the jump to live together.

It's funny to think we've never been on a real date (in the pick you up at 8 for dinner and a movie kind of thing) in the 5 years we have known each other. We did use up a lot of frequent flyer miles though.

At the time that I met him I had another boyfriend and of course was not looking to date, but it was LONG time before we became official. On one visit it just clicked that we either had to do something drastic to be together, or just remain friends. We took the dramatic approach and moved to Los Angeles, thousands of miles from our respective homes. I've never been happier. :)

[QuarterLiferAmy]

I met my SO in a bar in Dublin in 2004. We were both there on a random trip, with other people, and just happened to have an inkling for Irish music and Guiness at the same time, lol. We communicated for years via phone and email, and in 2007 made the jump to live together.

It's funny to think we've never been on a real date (in the pick you up at 8 for dinner and a movie kind of thing) in the 5 years we have known each other. We did use up a lot of frequent flyer miles though.

At the time that I met him I had another boyfriend and of course was not looking to date, but it was LONG time before we became official. On one visit it just clicked that we either had to do something drastic to be together, or just remain friends. We took the dramatic approach and moved to Los Angeles, thousands of miles from our respective homes. I've never been happier. :)


I think Words, you, her SO, and your SO should all go on a trip together. Apparently Irish music is music of love ;): And we thought the French were romantic?

Aw, these stories are so lovely. Can't wait until I meet my SO one day...perhaps in Ireland? lol

[QuarterLiferAmy]

My husband and I were literally next to each other in alphabetical order in our very first class in college. We had assigned seating in that class because the professor wanted to learn all our names, so I spent the whole semester sitting by him. We were in the same group of friends for three years before we actually started dating, so we already knew each other really well. I'd say we were both happy with our lives and not really looking for a relationship but we just hung out together all the time and one day it hit us that we really liked each other as more than friends. We thought it was this exciting news but our friends had all seen it coming forever and were all like "well, it's about time!"

Fast forward 10 years and we have now been married for almost 7 years and are expecting our second child this spring...wow.

Seating by last name or first name? If by last name, it's kinda cool that your intials remained the same once you got married.

Lovely story Steph. I suppose fate brought you together!

[sondra_finchley]

Ill just post up what I put on another forum since this came up there recently as well...

My Swede and I are also the product of enhanced communication systems of the early 2000's. We met via an internet forum for the best-selling British pop duo of all time (so embarrassing!), which we had both been members of since probably 2000. He posted a thread in mid-2003 looking for information on traveling via car through Las Vegas and Los Angeles. I replied in depth (having done high school in Vegas) and didnt receive a thank you or an update on the trip. Another awful Scandinavian I remember thinking, especially having been burned by a Dane in a previous relationship.

I was involved with other people the rest of 2003 and most of 2004, as was he. In late 2004 I changed my signature to a quote from season 5 of The Amazing Race (my favorite tv show) about an ox being broken. Andreas, through the powers of illegal downloading, was also a huge fan of the show, and recognized my signature instantly. We started chatting and emailing, and moved to talking on the phone. He is a terrible phone talker, and I almost lost interest at that point. However, I can also be a terrible phone talker and figured I could give the guy a chance.

We visited each others countries over 2005 and in late 2005 he applied for the Green Card Lottery. On my end I applied for a special work permit for the UK. Always figured the former was a long shot and the latter a walk in the park. The decisions came through reversed- he won and I lost, so he moved here in early 2007 (after I had spent 4 months living with him summer 2006 in Lund).

I have no burning desire for marriage or kids so we just live together (like most of our friends in Sweden) in a sambo relationship here in the US. Hes finishing up university studies now after that- no idea where we will end up!

[hoodie]

Another online dating success story (so far!). I started online dating in late November of 07, but I was probably one of those girls who doesn't reply or chickens out who drives people nuts because, in retrospect, I wasn't really ready to date. I was still hung up on my ex. However, January of 08, I was done with the whole ex boyfriend song and dance and ready to date in earnest. I was having a blast meeting new people, but hadn't really come across anyone I felt any real potential with throughout the month of January.

I got a message from this guy, though, and checked out his profile. I thought he was cute and really liked that his profile said he had a plant called Kilgore Trout (I like Kurt Vonnegut too). So we chatted a bit then he asked me if I'd want to go out on a date and got my number. I also remember being impressed that he wanted to go on an out-of-the-ordinary date, not just dinner or a drink. We ended up going to a musical improv show.

Upon meeting him, I loved his brown cabbie cap he was wearing and thought we had a lot in common. We talked almost nonstop and the show was hilarious, but it was a little nervy too, I think there was just an energy in the air where both of us were kind of keyed up and I couldn't tell if there was chemistry. Prior to date number two, I told my friend I was going to kiss him as a "chemistry test". :) Suffice to say, he passed the test with flying colors.

At the time, like I said, I was dating around and not sure I wanted to be in a serious or exclusive relationship, and I was honest with him about that. His maturity in handling that impressed me at the time, and, ironically, as of our second date, I stopped any other dating I had going on at the time. We continued to see each other for the next few weeks, and then finally in early March, we had "the talk" in which we mutually agreed that we were exclusive and had no plans to be otherwise.

A year and four days after that conversation, we moved in together. Thanks for doing this thread, it kind of made me giddy all over again remembering all this stuff about early on in our relationship and even more glad than usual to be with my guy! :D

[GreenwithEnvy]

I had been single for a long, long time after graduating high school. I dated a few guys here and there but nothing ever came out of it. Then my friend Lacey decided to set me up with this guy she met at school. Him and I double dated with Lacey and her boyfriend. I had fun and Jeff was really nice, funny, and cute, but we didn’t even hold hands! We went out to dinner a few weeks later (alone) and the only physical contact we had was a hug. I really, REALLY liked him and called him about a week later to see what was up. He told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and he was moving about an hour and a half away.
I was SO PISSED OFF. I pretty much swore off men and relationships. Period.
Then, about two weeks later, a friend from high school who I only talked to, like, once or twice a year, sent me a random ‘what’s up?’ message on myspace. I replied with some updates and told her I was still single. She then told me that there was a guy who she worked with who she wanted me to meet.
I agreed simply out of boredom. I had no intentions what so ever of even liking this guy as a friend. I didn’t even get all ‘dressed up’ to go out because I was so frusterated with the whole dating thing.
So, anyway, me, my friend Kristine, her BF Chris, and this guy Jay all meet. We have dinner, watch a hockey game, and then go hang out at a bar for a few hours. The next thing I know, I find myself really attracted to Jay and Kristine and Chris rigged the night so Jay ended up driving me home alone. When he dropped me off at my house, I surprised the hell out of myself (and Jay) by leaning over and kissing him. IT WAS AMAZING!
And, as they say, the rest is history.
He is more than I could have ever asked for (and this coming from a hopeless romantic)!. Our 1 year anniversary is on April 11th and we plan on moving in together by the end of 2009.
: D
PS: Funny note to add to my story – Jeff moved back to his hometown a few months after our disasterous dates . . . and around Christmas time he came out and told everyone that he was gay! We are still friends and laugh all the time about how Lacey tried to hook us up and I was so heart broken when he didn’t want me. I guess I should have believed him when he gave me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ routine!

[steph78]

Seating by last name or first name? If by last name, it's kinda cool that your intials remained the same once you got married.

Lovely story Steph. I suppose fate brought you together!
By last name, so yeah, I kept my same initials!

[steph78]

By the way, I find it hilarious that only girls have responded to this thread so far...

[Deni81]

I met my SO through a mutual friend. Back in June of 2006 our mutual friend invited a bunch of his friends to dinner and that is where I first met my now boyfriend. I didn't exactly like him at first, I found him funny but a little loud and arrogant. A year later I saw him again at the same friend's birthday party and this time we actually got to talking. I found that we had a lot of things in common (both avid readers, similar styles of humor) and he gave me his number and said we should hang out sometime. We went on two dates and then I ended up moving out of state that August. A month later he sent me a text message and we started having nightly phone calls. By the time I came home for Christmas, we knew this was something real. We decided to attempt a long-distance relationship and it worked for four months. I had been unhappy in my new city and was starting to become clinically depressed when I knew I had to make a choice. I made the choice to move back and I haven't regretted it. We have been together almost a year and a half and been living together since October.

[sparky88]

I met my husband through work when I was 23, though we lived in different states. It was a few months before we met in person for an event, then a few more months before we decided to date. From date #1 we were perfect together, decided to get married by date 3, continued dating ong-distance for 9 months, at which point we got married and I moved to his city. I am 27 now and we've been very happily married about 2.5 years and are expecting our first baby this week!

Oh, and for some contrast: when I found this message board I was 22 and in the midst of a dead-end, live-in, lingering college BF relationship that was going nowhere. The drama of it all, ugh what was I thinking. haha! I moved out, left the city, lived in my parents basement, switched jobs (hence the QLC), and found myself single and available (not exactly 'looking', but not dodging opportunities either). Everything worked out like a fairy tale in the end, I've come a long way. Good luck!

[wordsmith]

By the way, I find it hilarious that only girls have responded to this thread so far...


There aren't very many guys who post regularly on here who are in relationships (a few, but not many, in comparison to the single guys). Even my boyfriend posts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY less frequently now that we're together. My longtime conviction (with tons of evidence to back it up, albeit anecdotal) is that guys, even guys who posted a lot when single or dating casually, typically stop posting much when they get into a relationship. I suspect that many guys post for the social outlet, and then seem to not need that outlet as much once in a relationship. I've noticed this overall on social messageboards. Women, on the other hand, seem to overall continue to post with the same average amount of frequency when they are in relationships. Again, this is just anecdotal, I certainly haven't collected stats run averages on this sort of thing. But it's more common for male posters to drop off when they get in relationships than female posters.

[1977]

Is it maybe because the gentleman move on since once they get into a relationship they simply have bigger fish to fry & in fact "outgrow" the place?

[ugarachel82]

There aren't very many guys who post regularly on here who are in relationships (a few, but not many, in comparison to the single guys). Even my boyfriend posts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY less frequently now that we're together. My longtime conviction (with tons of evidence to back it up, albeit anecdotal) is that guys, even guys who posted a lot when single or dating casually, typically stop posting much when they get into a relationship. I suspect that many guys post for the social outlet, and then seem to not need that outlet as much once in a relationship. I've noticed this overall on social messageboards. Women, on the other hand, seem to overall continue to post with the same average amount of frequency when they are in relationships. Again, this is just anecdotal, I certainly haven't collected stats run averages on this sort of thing. But it's more common for male posters to drop off when they get in relationships than female posters.

Could also go with the generalization that women need socialization far more than men.

[Bocheezu]

I suspect that many guys post for the social outlet, and then seem to not need that outlet as much once in a relationship.

Could also go with the generalization that women need socialization far more than men.

Both true, I think. I don't know if the guys just don't go on the internet as much anymore or if they don't need the internet as a social outlet anymore. Either way, after some of my good friends got married, I seem to talk to their wives through email/facebook more than I talk to them directly. It's like the wife does the internet socializing for the both of them and the guy doesn't have to keep tabs on anything anymore.

[wordsmith]

I think 'net socialization is just something guys do when they're flying solo...when they're partnered up, they don't seem to care as much about it anymore, whereas all the women I know do as much messageboarding when coupled/married/etc. as they ever did. I would say that overall, we're just more social in general. Guys certainly CAN be social, but it's often only when they're looking on the off chance to meet somebody. Not that all women are chatty, but chatty women are so prevalent that when I do meet the odd one who's not, she's usually noteworthy for being not so chatty.

[wordsmith]

Is it maybe because the gentleman move on since once they get into a relationship they simply have bigger fish to fry & in fact "outgrow" the place?

Probably, if the same energy they injected into the site is now directed toward their SO, which is likely. Which brings me to my other speculation, which is that...

...I think a big part of it is because they come on in the first place to find somebody (or at least flirt). Raise your hands, ladies, if you've been flirted with by more than a guy or two on QLC.com over the years, either outright on a thread, or behind the scenes. It's no wonder that game loses its appeal when you've got somebody in your life in the here and now. I would imagine that those of us who have SOs and still post aren't posting because we're into the flirtation scene, though. But if that's all a guy was into, then, yeah, he's not gonna post anymore once he has somebody in his ZIP code with which to flirt.

[vinsanity]

But if that's all a guy was into, then, yeah, he's not gonna post anymore once he has somebody in his ZIP code with which to flirt.

Not very likely... (http://pics4.city-data.com/zag/za92807.png)I'll have to venture across the river for that :p

[FishOutOfWater]

Could also go with the generalization that women need socialization far more than men.

Or maybe all the men on this site are just looking for a date. :p

My SO and I met on okcupid.com, but our how we met story is so boring that we sometimes make up that we met singing at karaoke bars (which is where we spent our first several dates).

[wordsmith]

That's one advantage to our story about flying cross country and meeting for the first time in baggage claim half a continent away from either of our homes, and being one another's date to a wedding as the first time we'd ever laid eyes on one another. Pretty much universally acknowledged as ballsy, and definitely not boring!

[ebruening]

Aw, these stories are so lovely. Can't wait until I meet my SO one day...perhaps in Ireland? lol

I briefly dated an Irish guy. We're obviously not together, because I'm married to someone else, but it was fun while it lasted.

I met my now-husband on okcupid. We clicked almost immediately, and moved in together fairly soon after we began dating. We got married this past August. I wish our "how we met story" was a bit more interesting, but I will say that everything seemed to "click" from the moment we met. It was funny when it actually happened, because I never expected it to...

[gemma-dahl]

I lived down the street from my partner years ago. I knew him through my college job, but didn't get back in touch with him until the day he and a girl he was casually seeing went with me to see a poet/author I love. After that, I would often come over to his house after work, have a drink, and together, we'd rant about technology and philosophy. One time, we wound up at the same party, and walked home together. There was sexual tension, but we both ignored it and went to our respective homes.

I moved to another neighborhood after that. One day, he sent me a text. I called him back, and we made plans to hang out and watch movies. At the end of the evening, he asked if I could come back over the next Saturday. I did. We slept together for the first time that night, and have been dating since. At first it wasn't serious, since he thought he wanted to leave the city. He decided to stay, and I moved in with him about 6-7 months after we first began dating. He wanted me to move in sooner, but I felt it was too early to move in, so I kept him waiting for a few months. My parents love him, and he and my brother get on really well since they like a lot of the same music. It's fun!

[QuarterLiferAmy]

. There was sexual tension, but we both ignored it and went to our respective homes.

LOL! Haha. That was so cute.