do you call people to hang out or do you get called?

[goingthroughQLC]

I have a very hard time most weekends calling up people and asking what they're up to

I rarely call people because I don't have any plans of my own to invite them out
I just have this problem of appearing like I have no one else to hang out with (I know no one really thinks that but I grew up as a loner) - grew up not being social and not having many close friends. Too used to being a homebody :0
so if no one calls me on a weekend, I usually just stay in and don't do anything which happens more often than not :[

everything is fine, but I just wish I had weekend friends with similar interests...

[Mini14]

I think you just have to jump in the deep end and try it... don't worry too much about the plans, just pick any activity you enjoy (shopping/window shopping, hiking, swimming, coffee, lunch??) and ask people if they would like to join you... I think it can be pretty intimidating at first but the more you practice the easier it gets... I love doing stuff with people on the weekends but I'm naturally pretty introverted and shy so I hate being the organiser, but it's getting a lot easier with practice.

A really good book I read which had a section on this was "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway" by Susan Jeffers.. it was written a while ago but it's an excellent book, really helped me :)

[HDC80]

Its a split for me really.....sometimes I get calls other times Im calling. But Im always making sure I have plans or have connected with those that generally go out.

If I find that I have nothing going on, I start to think about what Id like to do and get at least one friend to commit...from there, send out a mass text or start making phone calls to say hey Im going to do X, want to come or meet up later?

After doing this for some time....my friends do the same...if they have something going on they'll let me know and see if Im around to meet up....I also make sure whatever my plans, that if Im invited somewhere, I at least make an appearance (unless Im out of state, which I will then tell the person giving me the invite......a solid response is MUCH better than a maybe and being a no show!)

I think by at least showing up and putting in the effort my friends feel that their invites are important to me....since Ill sometimes go to 3 or 4 events in an evening.

[hoodie]

Both; just depends on the weekend.

[DuckFan]

I send out a text on the weekends.

Usually it reads something like this:

Hey, what are you up to this evening?

That way it doesn't suggest I don't have plans, it just suggests that I am interested in hanging out.

The people's response usually dictates how the rest of the conversation goes.

I may suggest something, they may invite me along, or they may be booked.

[butterflyblues]

I despise weekends. I say that and people think I'm nuts. But I never have anything to do or hang out with. People are already doing something or unreliable. Usually a combination of both. No one ever asks what I'm doing so I give up.

[fuzmiq]

I despise weekends. I say that and people think I'm nuts. But I never have anything to do or hang out with. People are already doing something or unreliable. Usually a combination of both. No one ever asks what I'm doing so I give up.

butterfly, don't give up yet! I was just listening to a clip from TD Jakes and he was kind of talking about the people in your life and the categories they can fall into. There are some people that you confide in, others are just there for the ride and some just fall by the wayside. (Many can fall by the wayside) But that's often not a comment on you. You have to find people that ARE reliable! They are out there. It's okay to let those people go that are not "with" you. It's better to let them go to make room for the people who will be there for you.

[DaneCA]

If I don’t have plans, I’ll call or text a few people and see what they’re up to. I have three girlfriends with whom I’m really, really close and in constant contact throughout the day, so we always know what the others are doing and it’s a given that if one person has plans and can include the others, then we’re all invited. Or, one of us will send out an e-mail or a text asking what’s going on and together, we’ll come up with an idea.

It’s taken a bit of work to get to this point, though. When I first moved back into this area after college, I didn’t have many friends and it took some effort on my part to reunite with my high school friends.

[Schecter_Guy]

My friends back where I grew up I call since they never know when I am out there. The people here are pretty flakey so I wait for them to call me.

[KCboy]

I send out a text on the weekends.

Usually it reads something like this:

Hey, what are you up to this evening?

That way it doesn't suggest I don't have plans, it just suggests that I am interested in hanging out.

same here. if I'm looking for something that night, a mass "whatcha doing tonight?" text to a bunch of people will usually get at least one response.

[Tac-Tics]

No one is going to call you out of the blue. You need to make the first move.

Just pick one or two friends you feel comfortable with and call them. Invite them to dinner. If your friends are cheap, offer to make them some dinner. Call them over to play video games or watch a movie. Pick an activity out of a hat and try to find people to join you. Bowling, pool, minigolf, hanging at a bar. It doesn't matter. Don't wait for the weekend either. Some of your friends are bored during the week too.